Hi. This is my first post and I was needing some advice. I'm a switch, I have known this for years. I love it when a man will use his strength against me, I love being restrained and being at some one's mercy, but I also love it when the tables are turned just as much. Its such a rush, knowing that I can do whatever I want to the person, I can tie them up, tease them, hurt them, and they get nothing back unless I want them to.

My problem is this. I have rarely found anyone who would let me fully explore this. I have pretty much had to make do with just my fantasies and occasional rough sex. So since I haven't very much practical experience, I am not sure how to proceed with my husband.

We are very open with each other about our wants and needs and he recently told me that he wants to give it a try, for me, because he doesn't want me to not have what I want. I am in no way ashamed for wanting what I want, I just want to make it work so I don't accidentally put him off, and since he told me that he was willing I have been trying to think of ways to do this. We both want this to work, and he already enjoys it when he dominates me, but he knows that I crave the other side of the coin as well. I want him to enjoy what I do, I want him to want more of it, but I do know that one mistake could mean we never come back to this. I love him enough that in the grand scheme of things, even if I have to close that door forever, I could do it, but neither of us wants me to have to do that, not without trying first.

I know that I like to cause pain. I know that I like to tease him. I love it when he is tied. I like to bite and scratch him though I always do it lightly, for fear of turning him off, when I want to do it much harder. But I want to do so much more. And I know from personal experience that just because I get turned on watching something, doesn't necessarily mean that I want to do exactly that or have it done to me. So I need to figure out what turns me on when I do it to him/have it done to me, and what doesn't.

The other side of the problem is that while he enjoys dominating me, I want him to do more to me, I want him to go beyond just rough and mix pain with the pleasure. I don't want us to go extreme our first time trying, because again, I am new to this in practice, but I do want it to build up, again without putting him off. I want to find my limits, and his, and at this point neither of us are sure what those are.

I never thought I would hear my husband tell me that he wanted to try. I really don't want to screw this up for us, because I think that, if we do this right, that this could be an amazing addition to our lives together.

I am hoping that someone might have some advice about what to try first, so I don't scare him off, and advice about how to get him to do more to me, so that when we do finally get to get started, everything goes smoothly. He's in the military and currently deployed so I have a few months to figure this out, but when he comes home, he wants to start, you know, after the furious, fuck like bunnies stage where we don't really care about how we're doing it, so long as it gets done. But after that, when we each have more control over ourselves, then we want to start trying.

Thanks for your time.