Hey all,

DH and I have been happily married for 8 years. We've been practicing BDSM for longer than that. DH is very dominant IRL, so he wants to be very submissive in BDSM.

I can say honestly I didn't really "get it" until about 2 years ago. Unfortunately, my not "getting it" has caused a lot of arguments, hurt feelings, and general relationship damage that we are working through. DH has a lot of guilty feelings about his "dark side" and feels I only participate to please him. That used to be true, but it's not so anymore.

Anyway, our current problem is mainly that we're stuck in a rut. I don't push hard enough in session. Don't "take him under", like I used to. We've fallen into a familiar routine of playing that leaves us both unsatisified.

Any suggestions or advice? We're into rubber, bondage, water sports, some nipple/anal play, ants...we get pretty heavy, but not into spanking at all. I've always wanted to try electrical torture or piercings in fantasy, but am skittish about in an actual session.

TIA,
EAB