Hopefully as you read this you recall my current status as a dom/master. Quick refresher, new and inexperianced yet tried my damnest to be the best I can be. Anyways here's a situation that happened to me the other day. Basically, I'd like input and advice. Ignore the fact that we all have preferences of what we like and what we don't, but me and my gf(sub/slave) are up for everything. She's a hella more experianced with BDSM, and as a dom and sub. She's a switch but prefers to sub.

Anyways, we began messing around. Started of with the hard and heavy kissing like to pent up nymphos who'd gone without for too long. Soon following she began to tease me a bit more, kissing, groping and the such. She began to suck me off then put my cock back in my pants. Me about to say something to tell her to tell her to get back to sucking and she climbs on my lap and begins to grind on me. I definatly enjoy foreplay, teasing is fun, but now I'm fucking horny and want to fuck. So I grab her firmly by the back of the hair and tell her she's gonna ride me, and to stand up and take her pants off.

She returns with a stern 'No.' Me a bit thrown off by it at first but then getting back into my role I barked at her louded, used a little more humiliation. She again said no and told me she was going to tease me. So me with my 'Oh yeah?' attitude I again attempted take control and she said no, now she begins to get up and act as if she's done. I stand quickly and tell her that's she's being a naughtly slut and to bend over. (insinuating a spanking). Again I get a no and tried of telling her I grab her and try to make her do it forcefully.

She's a firecracker I promise and could put up a good fight. After a few minutes of us wrestling I think she notices my frustration and I think she gives in. So I bend her over and tell her why she's being punished and give her 5 solid wacks on the ass. I then bark at her and tell her to stand up and drop her pants. Again she says no. We wrestle around a bit more, I try to remain demanding and begin to induce more pain but nothing works.

Don't get me wrong, wrestling around with her can be fun, but she's pretty much taken all my power away and I cannot do anything about it at this point.

Me frustrated because I'm not able to take control, and she knows I'm inexperianced, and she is very much so and does use it against me at times. I think it's a way she tests me, she doesn't do it all the time but ever here and there. She tells me if I really wanted her to fuck me that I'd have done it already, and that's no matter what she's always in charge. Not knowing what else to do, I tell her she's cut off. (for the day) She in turns tell me I'm punishing myself. I then explain that I don't get what I want, because she won't listen, so neither of us get what we want. She begins begging me to sit next to her and kiss her and what not (for when I do she'll grope me and be all super sexy on me to try to get me to give in). I hold my own and soon I tell her it's time for us to make dinner.

I know my biggest flaw here was not being forceful enough, verbally and even physically, but especially verbally. It's hard, as I don't really know what to say, and I'm definatly not a loud, forceful guy. I'm a real chilled dude. Anyways, I could really use some tips, like what could have been said or done. What would you have said or done? I figure dissecting situations is a good way for me to learn, and her and I are doing the same, but I could use some addition support in my learning.

What are some good tips for being commanding? I mean that may sound silly but I figured why not. I have a hard time conducting myself due to my inexperiance. Everyone is too damned vague and general about a dom's conduct, which can make it difficult to learn when I'm not a dom by nature, I definatly want control, but wouldn't say I'm a dominant personality, nor at the same time am I submissive.

Anyways, I cannot wait to hear your feedback!