Here's my problem: My girlfriend thinks I'm gay after she found out I like strap ons. She's totally close minded sexually in terms of this stuff, which is okay because it's her right to see sex however she wants to see it, and I hold nothing against her for not being a domme. The thing is, though... that I need a domme. I don't care about the sex like I care about the little things, like sitting at a woman's feet while she's on the couch watching TV, or doing her dishes or eating her scraps or having to kiss her feet when she comes home or just generally not feeling in charge. These are things I feel I need out of a relationship.
So how do I go about cutting off my relationship of one year and almost six months? Is there an easy way to say "I'm a submissive male who needs to be mistreated/abused/used/dominated" without sounding shallow or like a monster? Believe me, i know I sound it but I'm not shallow. It's just that when a woman gets naked in front of me and spreads her legs, I don't know what to do. I'm lost. I'm bored. It's just not something I can do. It's hard to get hard, and when I can, I either go to quickly or can't go at all, just because I can't possibly get into it. Eating her out, as hot and tasty as she is, is also a chore. I eat her out to make her cum. To me, that defines boredom. Fucking just to have a mechanical and average orgasm? Licking just because she likes it? I need my hair to be pulled while I lick her... i need not to feel like her equal, but to feel intimidated. I need to know that if i don't please her, there will be consequences.
Basically, I don't get to experience this kind of stuff... I've never known the feeling of being at the mercy of a woman, and it to me is like being a virgin. I've been comfortable with all my non-mainstream desires, even the strap on thing... but when I saw the look in my girlfriend's eyes when she found out, she broke my pride and made me feel like some sort of child molester or killer or coward or sicko. It hurts really badly.
I've heard a poster on these forums once say something to the effect of this: "How do you hurt a masochist? Well, I guess you don't." Well, I found a way. If the masochist is a guy, give him a sweet, caring, beautiful woman with a great body and make her want to have sex the traditional way and have no domme desires. The pain will be something unendurable, believe me.

Back to the main question, how do I tell her I can't take it anymore and we're too different? This is a really hard question to ask because I still love her.