Is it to much to ask for a submissive that I can talk to. When I say talk I don't mean command or demean. Just talk to, have an intelligent fulfilling conversation with. I want a submissive who I can dominate for our mutual pleasure, not one who hates herself and only is happy when she can block herself out and “focus” on me. Is it too much to ask for a D/s or M/s relationship where you can find as much joy in just being close to each other not saying much but knowing that the other person is yours willingly and for her knowing that she is owned completely and wanted and needed. Is it so wrong for a Dominant or Master to “need.”

I have searched, I have sought, a few times I thought that it was indeed possible but there was always a “but.” The submissive was hiding things from her past that needed to be dealt with at a professional level and not dressed up as “kinks” or another where I was basically used as therapy for clinical depression that was not mentioned at the start, and when she found that she was falling for me she suddenly realized that “she could not do this to me.”

I read things on this site, accounts written by women, things that seem genuine, my experiences however tell me something else. I have given up hope of finding a woman IRL for the moment but perhaps there is someone online, someone genuine, someone not looking for a cheap thrill and a 10 dollar whore humiliation experience. Perhaps there is someone who finds equal pleasure in exploring her bdsm kinks whatever they may be, bondage, humiliation, service etc and an actual normal relationship intertwined. One life not a “lifestyle” One life where you can be both respected as a woman and friend and dominated and if you like , humiliated as a submissive or slave girl. Where I can be both kind and strict, loving and Dominating, not having to choose one over the other.

I have been called soft, have been accused of not being a “true” master, I have been labeled and I have been classified by the so called norms of the dominant Alpha male master.

I do not give a shit.

I know what I want and will not settle for a fabrication, a game, I want the real deal be it face to face or be it online and I am willing to wait for what I want.