So we've been exploring our newly poly relationship and having a lot of fun. A few months ago, I looked into online dating to see if I could meet some women to date on the side, or possibly bring into our relationship (all with D's knowledge and permission, of course). Since there seem to be a lot more submissive women than switches or Dommes in my local dating pool, I had sort of thought "well, I can switch a little if I have to, but I don't think I can really get into that kind of persona."

I'd messed around a bit with this really great lady I met on the dating site, but we hadn't gotten really kinky except for the occasional ass smack or something. I think we were both sort of nervous about what to do about us both being submissives. But then last weekend, we were making out in her car in a parking garage in the middle of the night, and she adjusted her seat back so that I was positioned over her, and within a couple of minutes things just clicked and I was pulling her hair and making her beg me to suck on her tits, and she was moaning that she was my slut ... and I loved it. I wasn't expecting that.

I was amazed by how sexy and powerful I felt. I sort of let go of the rules that I must have in my head somewhere about what it's okay for a girl to want or to express, and just let myself enjoy her. For the first time I wasn't concerned about whether I was pleasing enough or attractive enough. I could just appreciate how gorgeous and sexy my partner is.

A few days later, we were talking online and ended up going through a whole scene in cyber. It wasn't anything especially hardcore or elaborate, but it was enough to make me feel confident that I can be in control and actually know what I'm doing. Part of this is because I've learned from watching D and A (our soon-to-be live-in gf) do it, but I think part of it comes from inside of me, too, from parts of me that I hadn't really connected with before.

We're seeing each other again tomorrow, and I'm so excited. I don't feel like my submissiveness is at all diminished, and I still belong to my husband and love to serve him -- in fact, after I got back from my little adventure last weekend, he spent most of the next day putting me through my paces. But this is part of me, too, and it feels really good to be okay with exploring that, to finally be in a place in my life where I'm not afraid to be someone different from who I thought I was. That's a huge step for me. And I just wanted to share it with you lovely people.