Well, my soul anyway. If you want bare boobies I will direct your attention to the lovely gallery of ladies at the top of your monitor.

The other night D. ordered my collar from a leather website I like. It feels like a big step to me (I'd been pestering him for one for ages with no results), but I'm not exactly sure where we are now. In this thread I'm going to try to write down everything to get some outside perspectives and gather my thoughts on the subject of our D/s relationship. And because the point is for people to *read* it, I will make sure to put in as many dirty bits as possible.

When D. and I first started talking online, I was immediately drawn to his forceful personality, before I knew what he looked like or even heard his voice. We both post on the same forum (not this one), and he started to single me out as a friend and to find excuses to send me sweet messages all the time. I respected his passionate nature and his eloquence, but he had a reputation for being crazy about beautiful women (not a category I included myself in), so I wasn't sure why he was interested in plain old me. As it turns out, he'd seen a post (in response to a picture of a model) where I mentioned that I wear a D cup bra, and had started looking for my posts to see if I'd posted any pictures. He didn't find any, but he did like what he got to know of me from my posts, and decided that one way or another, he was going to find out what I looked like.

From the beginning I could tell that he had a talent for being in control of the situation. I told him that I wasn't interested in more than friendship because he was older than me, a college instructor when I was a college student (in the same subject!), and lived far away. It got to be a "joke" between us that he would push his luck with compliments and sexy suggestions until I posted "when" -- at which point he would theoretically back off, except that it meant he knew he was getting to me, and the encouragement meant that he'd just take it further next time. He made off-the-cuff references to blindfolds, ice cubes, and other things I hadn't really thought about in that way before (I was a 19-year-old virgin at the time), and at one point told me that he wanted to pleasure me until I could barely speak. But what really did it was the "roleplay" scenario in which he imagined us as the lead characters in Jane Eyre, with him having to grab my wrist in his hand to keep me from slapping him as he drew me in for an ellicit kiss... eventually I was at the point where I couldn't think about anything else. Against my better judgment, I agreed that he could come visit me "just for a friendly lunch" --- over the Valentine's Day weekend.

to be continued tomorrow...