I cut and pasted this because I'd done it a few months ago, so hopefully, I can tweak here and there. It's still gonna take a while. Some of the things I rate low may be because I've never done them, and they don't sound appealing, but, like you said, it's subject to change. One thing, on some issues about gags and things of that sort, I rate low because (a) I broke my nose when I was 5 , and (b) I've also had sinus issues and surgery on them a couple of times. I don't get sinus infections like I once did, but I really don't get as much air through my schnozz as I would like sometimes, either. Having something in my mouth with no ability to take it out really scares the crap out of me because of that. It's probably partly mental, since I don't like getting dunked either, (really freaked out a boyfriend in high school once, when I came up screaming after what he considered a playful dunk - I didn't know I'd react like that either, though.) Also, I don't think sounding like Felix Unger from the Odd Couple would be very sexy.

Submissive BDSM Play Partner Check List

This questionnaire should be filled out by a sub and provided to their Dom/Top before playing with them. This will provide a quick "head-start" to identifying limits, negotiating and finding common ground for play.

For each item, you need to provide two answers:
First write YES or NO next to each item to indicate if you have ever DONE that activity.
Mark N/A if it does not apply to your gender.
Next, indicate for each item how you FEEL about that activity by rating it on a scale of NO or 0 to 5.

NO means you will NOT do that item under any circumstances (a hard limit).

0 (zero) indicates you have utterly no desire to do that activity and don't like doing it (in fact, may loath it) and would ordinarily object to doing it, but you would be willing to do it to please the Dominant if it they really wanted it. (sometimes called a "soft limit").

1 means you don't want to do or like to do this activity, but wouldn't object if it were asked of you by your Dominant.

2 means you are willing to do this activity, but it has no special appeal for you.

3 means you usually like doing this activity, at least on an irregular/ occasional basis.

4 means you like doing this activity, and would like to experience it on a regular basis.

5 means the activity is a wild turn-on for you, and you would like it as often as possible.

Mark with an asterisk (*) those items which you are willing to do only with you current sex partner(s), but not with casual play-partners. I started to do this, but I probably wouldn't do much of this with somebody I didn't know pretty well.

Note any additional information, which might be important for your Dom to know.

There is intentionally some overlap between categories. Unless otherwise stated, the Sub is the recipient of the activity.

Experience, Willingness Question or Comments
yes/no NO or 0-5 written in by sub


Abrasion: no 1
Age play: no 1
Anal sex: yes 5 Sir, your comments about safety on this one were greatly appreciated
Anal plugs (small): yes 3 only tried once
Anal plugs (large): no 2 worries me a bit : )
Anal plug (public, under clothes): no 3 sounds interesting
Animal roles: no 1 I'd feel damned silly
Arm & leg sleeves (armbinders): no 3
Asphyxiation: no 1 depends on how it's done, I've heard some about it, but not breathing is a serious issue for me - see above comments.
Auctioned for charity: no 1
Bathroom use control: no 2-3 this is one I upgraded a bit, after you described how you go about it
Bestiality: no no
Beating (soft): no 1
Beating (hard): no no
Blindfolds: yes 2-3 only did this once, but it was interesting, don't think I'd want it all the time - I'm a pretty visual person.
Being serviced (sexual): no 4
Being bitten: yes 5 surprised me that I like this as much as I do, to the point of leaving marks
Breast/chest bondage: yes 3 only once, not sure if I liked it at the time, but certainly was interesting . Don't think having them turn purple & fall off would be in anybody's best interest : ) .
Breath control: no 1
Branding: * no 3 had a fantasy about this -certainly not for casual though
Boot worship: no 1
Bondage (light): * yes 5 knew I could get out of it, if need be.
Bondage (heavy): * no 3
Bondage (multi-day): * no 1 this doesn't sound like much fun at all, actually
Bondage (public, under clothing): no 3 could see where this would be interesting
Bondage and Sex: yes 5
Breast whipping: yes 2 - maybe, not hard
Brown showers (scat): no no
Cages (locked inside of):* no 3 I can see where this could be interesting too
Caning: no 2 - not really that much into pain
Catheterization: no no (only once when I had my c-section -hurt like hell!)
Cells/Closets (locked inside of): no 1 I could see a cell, maybe, but not a closet
Chastity belts: no 2
Chauffeuring: no 2
Choking: no 1
Clothespins breast/nipples: no 3-4 this is one I upgraded
Clothespins labia lips/clit: no 3 ditto - less thrilled with this idea than the nipple clamps though
Clothespins body: no 1
Cock worship: no 3-4
Collars (worn in private): no 5
Collars (worn in public): no 2-3 depends on the collar - I upgraded this one a bit too
Competitions (with other Subs): no no
Corsets (wearing): yes 4-5 (only as a pirate, for now, on outside of clothes. Really like this idea though.
Cuffs: yes 5
Cuffs (metal): no 4
Cutting: no no
Dilation: no 1
Double penetration: no 4- 5 (I have fantasies about this one : )
Electricity: yes 3 violet wand, only a couple of times - interesting, not a huge turn on - has possibilities though
Enemas: no 1 (not counting medicinal purposes as a kid)
Enforced chastity: no 3 could see it if it's not TOO long : )
Examinations (physical): no 3-4
Exercise (forced/required): no 2 I know, I know, I want to get to the gym, but I'd rather do it on my own
Exhibitionism (friends): no 2-3
Exhibitionism (strangers): no 1
Eye contact restrictions: no 1
Face slapping: no no - no, I would leave - not into abuse
Fantasy abandonment: no 1
Fantasy rape: no 2
Fantasy forced deep throat: no 3-4 (I have finally figured out how to do that ; )
Fantasy forced cunt licking: no no - I'd leave from this one too
Fantasy forced rape anal: no 2-3
Fantasy gang-rape: no 2
Fisting (anal): no no - I have see pics of what this can do to a person - it ain't pretty
Fisting (vaginal): no 1 (seems counterproductive- I had a c-section for my daughter, and have always been rather happy that it wasn't all stretched out of shape. Things can TEAR down there!)
Flogging: yes 3 liked lightly, heavier not so much
Following hand signals: no 2-3 , not really sure if I'd like this or not
Following orders: yes 3 depends
Foot worship: no 1
Forced dressing: no 2-3 depends
Forced homosexuality: no no - so NOT going to happen. Again, major deal breaker for me.
Forced masturbation: no 3-4
Forced nudity (private): yes 5
Forced nudity (around others): no 2 depends on situation, I guess.
Forced servitude: no 1 depends, not wild about it
Full head hoods: no 2 - I DO so like to breath
Gags (cloth): no 1
Gags (penis shaped): no 1
Gags (rubber): no 1
Gags (tape): no 1
Gates of Hell: no n/a
Genital sex: yes 5
Given away to another Dom (temp): no 1 have to think about this one
Given away to another Domme (temp): no no
Given away to another Dom (perm): no no
Given away to another Domme (perm): no no
Golden showers: no 1
Greetings rituals: no 2 -4 , not sure since I've never done it, but I've upgraded this one a bit
Hairbrush spankings: no 3
Hair pulling: yes 5
Hand jobs (giving): yes 5
Hand jobs (receiving): yes 5
Harems (serving w/other subs): no no not gonna happen
Harnessing (leather): no 4
Harnessing (rope): no 3-4
Having food chosen for you: no 1- having the dom do the ordering, after I'd picked something at a restaurant I can see, but I'm a pretty picky eater.
Having clothing chosen for you: no 2-3
Head (giving cunnilingus): no no again, SO not gonna happen
Head (giving fellatio): yes 5
Head (receiving cunnilingus female only): yes 5
Head (receiving fellatio male only): n/a
High heel worship: no N/A
Homage with tongue (non-sexual): no 2-3 not real certain about this one, sounds ok though
Hot oils (on genitals): no 3 - um, how hot are we talking here? Might be interesting, just don't know
Hot waxing: no 1
Housework (doing): yes 1 do enough already : )
Human puppy dog: no no - the feminist in me rebels
Humiliation (private): no no (my ex was very critical of, well, a ot of things. This really doesn't do much for me
Hypnotism: no 3-4 (you explained this one to me, sounds very interesting the way you do it !)
Ice cubes: no 3
Infantilism: no no
Initiation rites: no 3 depends, I guess
Injections: no no
Intricate (Japanese) rope bondage: no 3
Interrogations: no 1
Kidnapping: no 3 I can see that this could be kind of fun
Kneeling: yes 3-4
Leather clothing: yes 3 (just my pirate corset, would like more)
restraints chains: yes 4
restraints leather: no 4
restraints rope: yes 4 once
Lectures for misbehavior: no 1 - does anybody LIKE this? I just don't see it
Licking (non-sexual): no 4
Manacles & Irons: no 4
Manicures (giving): no 1 ?
Massage (giving): yes 5 not always sexual, but nice too
Massage (receiving): yes 5 My teenager won't stand near me when I sit in one of the massage chairs at the mall because I "make too much noise" : ) You just can't get too many massages, sexual or not, in my opinion - our version of primate grooming, I think
Medical scenes: no 3
Modeling for erotic photos: no 2
Modeling for erotic videos: no 2 mostly just worried about either of this or the last one getting into wrong hands
Mouth bits: no 1
Mummification: no 1
Nipple clamps: no 3-4 might like them a lot, but never tried them.
Nipple cloths pins: no 3-4 ditto
Nipple weights: no 1-2 still pretty dang perky - especially for my age -don't really want to help gravity any more than necessary
Oral/anal play (rimming): yes 4-5 not in a long time
Over-the-knee spanking: no 4-5 (I had this rated lower, but I've read about your "pleasure spankings')
Orgasm denial: no 3-4
Orgasm control: no 4-5 This was rated lower before too, but again, I've read some of your comments about it - makes a lot more sense!
Outdoor scenes: no 3-4
Outdoor sex: yes 4 not since a teenager though. it was fun then!
Phone sex (serving Dom): no 2-3
Phone sex (serving Dom's friends): no 1 not sure I could do this
Piercing (temporary, play-pierce): no 1 ow
Piercing (permanent): no 1 again, ow! depends
Prison scenes: no 1
Pony slave: no 1
Public exposure: no 1
Public tasks: no 1 again, depends
Pussy/cock whipping: no 2, not hard though
Pussy worship: no n/a
Riding crops: no 2 not sure on this one either
Riding the "horse" (crotch tort.): no 3 -4 depends on how it's done and who's doing it
Rituals: no 2-3
Religious scenes: no no
Restrictive rules on behavior: no 1-3 again, depends
Rubber/latex clothing: no 3 never done it, might be good, might chafe : )
Rope body harness: yes, once 3
Saran wrapping: no 1-3 just can't quite get behind this one
Scratching – getting: yes 3 some, lightly
Scratching – giving: yes, 3 need fake nails though *sigh*
Sensory deprivation: no 2 other than blindfold, not sure
Serving: no ? is this a heading for what follows, or a description on it's own?
Serving as art: no 1 I'd feel really silly
Serving as ashtray: no no- not in this lifetime
Serving as furniture: no 1 - really doubt it
Serving as a maid: no 1 - doesn't being a mom count? : )
Serving as toilet: no no, oh HELL no
Serving as waitress/waiter: no 2 - again, done enough of that as a mom : )
Serving orally (sexual): yes (if I understand this ) 4
Serving other Doms (supervised): no 4 Have fantasies about more than one fella (not bi-curious at all, sorry).
Serving other Doms (unsupervised): no 2 not quite sure how this would work,
Sexual deprivation (short term): no 3
Sexual deprivation (long term): no 1 -Does the 5 year dry spell I had at the end of my marriage and after count towards good behavior?
Shaving (body hair): yes, 3-4 never done this sexually though
Shaving (head hair): no no
Shaving (pubic hair): yes 4 Not done to me, I trim up a bit
Sleep deprivation: no no I have enough of that as it is : )
Sleep-sacks: no 1 I just can't quite picture this one as being much fun
Slutty clothing (private): yes 5
Slutty clothing (public): no 3 depends on where, I spose, and whether people I work with would see me, or family
Spanking in private: yes 4
Spanking in public: no 1
Spanking in bdsm parties: no 1 never been to one, so I have no clue
Spanking pleasure: yes 3 - although your description of a pleasure spanking sounds like a definite 5
Spandex clothing: no 2 just my gym shorts. I'm in pretty good shape for my age, but not sure it's a good idea on a 53 y.o. body : )
Speech restrictions (when, what): no 1 having trouble even picturing this one
Speculums (Anal): no 1
Speculums (vaginal): yes 2 not for fun, just the yearly checkup
Spreader bars: no 3-4
Standing in corner: no 1
Stocks (adjustable): no 3-4
Stocks (fixed): no 2-3
Straight jackets: no 1
Strap-on-dildos (sucking on): no 1
Strap-on-dildos (penetrated by): no 0
Strap-on-dildos (wearing): no 1 I'd feel silly
Strapping (full body beating): - no 1
Suspension (upright); no 2 -4 I'm assuming, off the floor? depends on how it's done
Suspension (inverted): no 2 - not sure my sinuses would make this a very sexy experience for anybody : )
Suspension (horizontal): no 3-4 depends, I guess, again, how and who
Supplying new partners for Dom: no no
Swallowing semen: yes 3 been a while, though
Swallowing urine: no no - again, hell no
Swapping (with one other couple): no 1 thinking about it, really not sure
Swinging (multiple couples): no 1 -see above
Tattooing: no 3 none on me, but it can be kind of sexy
Teasing: no 3 well, depends
Tickling: yes 3, again, not since a teenager
Triple penetration: no 5 fantasy land again, never done it
Triple penetration by 3 males: no 5 same as above
Uniforms: no 2
Including others: no 5 never done it, so it might be better or worse than my fantasies
Vaginal dildo: no 4
Verbal humiliation: no no
Vibrator on genitals: yes 5 - not much though
Voyeurism (watching others): no 1
Voyeurism (your Dom w/others): no 1
Video (watching others): no 2 might be ok
Video (recordings of you): no 1, again , nervous about who sees it
Water torture: no 2
Wearing symbolic jewelry: no 4
Whipping: no 3 light flogging ok,
Wooden paddles: yes 3, stings a bit - makes me jumpy
Wrestling: no 3 well, maybe as a teenager : )