More than one sub...

[Silke]

'k then...here's my story.

I've never been someone who's strictly monogamous, it just happened to turn out this way with the guys I was with. I remember discussions with my friends about this - from a 'nilla perspective of having sex outside of a relationship and such - and all of my friends pretty much agree that if you even have those kind of feelings that you 'have to look for fun outside of your relationship', it's not the perfect match. Everything you're looking for should be provided by one person and you can't love more than one person at the time - it's wrong to even think about this...

Well, this view never appealed to me. Back then, out of different reasons than now. I just never had the feeling that having different partners at the same time was such a big deal, as long as everybody involved was fine with it. Not talking about secret affairs, but about open relationships.

What's been building between Master, my sis and me here is more special than what I had in mind back then. *smiles* When SB and I found out about each other and started talking, we clicked extremely quickly and became friends. It was awesome to be able to share our experiences and feelings...we could relate to each other's worries, joys and the love in both of our lives perfectly - it felt like paradise to me! I loved having her in my life and as I said in an earlier post, if it hadn't been for her, those lonely weeks would have been almost unbearable.

Ever since that time, we've pretty much shared everything...including the domly one in our lives. *grins* We have a ball plotting mischief, we share the fun and the sadness, support each other, flirt a LOT *giggles*, share our fantasies, wreck Master's nerves....lol, ok, strike that last one - I think he's enjoying it. We've become sisters.

I'm sure I'd have more problems with jealousies if I didn't love both of them to bits. How can you be jealous of someone when you're happy for them at the same time? I'm pretty sure that the issue would have come up for me, if I hadn't clicked with my sis in such a wonderful way...then I might have felt the competition some people here mentioned. The way things are now, I feel as if I've gained a LOT and I'm not losing anything. I feel loved and special and secure and blessed by having found two people I just adore and who give me so much...I want to shout it out to everyone, lol.

Do I think I'm missing something? It was mentioned somewhere in this thread that this constellation couldn't work in a D/s relationship...because you don't really commit and don't own the person. Well, I, for one, feel we're committing and I certainly feel owned. More so than I ever dreamed of. Why does love have to be exclusive between two people? I know it can be and that's wonderful for those two involved...but why should that be the only way? What does Master's love for my sis take away from what he and I have? Nothing between him and me has changed, other than that I gained a wonderful sister. I remember him asking me whether I'd mind if he assigned some of my tasks to her and my reply was the same - you're not taking anything away from me, you're giving something to her. I was excited that we could share yet another experience, wanted to see how she deals with this, was curious whether this would be easier or harder than for me...

Lol, I'm more jealous of his work and the people who actually get to live with him while we are so far apart. That's where my jealousy lies and that's what might become a problem at some stage if I don't find a r/l partner who's as open as we obviously are. It's a situation I dread and hope it will never happen.

[Talia]

'k then...here's my story.

We have a ball plotting mischief, we share the fun and the sadness, support each other, flirt a LOT *giggles*, share our fantasies, wreck Master's nerves....lol, ok, strike that last one - I think he's enjoying it. We've become sisters.

ok...that probably wasn't a good idea to admit openly....


Ok..Daddy....she instigated it all...I was a very good little girl...Always Daddy's little girl...

*running off to find duct tape to tie Silke's hands together so she won't let our secrets out*.

[shins]

'k then...here's my story.

...
Ever since that time, we've pretty much shared everything...including the domly one in our lives. *grins* We have a ball plotting mischief, we share the fun and the sadness, support each other, flirt a LOT *giggles*, share our fantasies, wreck Master's nerves....lol, ok, strike that last one - I think he's enjoying it. We've become sisters.

...

I think this is what Q was looking for in his post. It's such a sensitive subject, tempers flaired. Some people felt invaded, were put on the defensive. They are the ones lucky enough to be living this arrangement (IMO), and others that truly don't have a desire for it felt the need to speak out. Thank you Silke and Tojo for sharing the intimacies that we don't necsesarily need to know about. I'm glad you all did, because (I hope) that it will move this thread forward positively. Its not a matter of jealousy, it's about 2,3,4-... however many it takes to make a group of individuals enjoy each other. Occasionally, one might get jealous or one might feel neglected. Thats what a poly relationship deals with. Sexual benefits aside, its FUN. Some of us like to play together, not occasionally but all the time, and I sincerely hope that everyone can understand that. Do we have that truly intimate one on one experience? If we are allowed the time to grow, just as a vanilla or a mono bdsm couple has, possibly so. I honestly can't say for sure, because I'm guiding us into it, but I never want to hurt angel. If she puts the breaks on it out of discomfort, I will listen to her, but so far, she's ready to embrace it as much as me. Some of us need this. It's not about committing to a single person. It's about a few people that have searched all their lives for what makes them whole, and they have finally realized that they can't find it without a couple of partners. For those that can, hell yeah, *tips the hat to you*. Congratulations, you've aquired what most search for, but please, don't pass judgement on the others that find it a different way. I'd spend some time getting into graphic details, but instead, I'll say...I don't have the...um...equipment that keeps angel happy all the time. She has a fondness for... let's just say that I don't have it all...

Thank you Q for the thread that you started. I've learned alot from reading everyone's responses. Sorry I've cheated it and posted without answering your questions. I am trying to get there, but I can't post the answers because I haven't lived through the dynamic yet. *Crosses fingers* perhaps eventually I'll know and be able to respond from experience instead of desire.