more than one??

[violetgem]

my ex Master and i restarted a relationship, but he also has a slave at this time. It is taking some getting used to since i have never been in a relationship with another sub or slave involved like this.
So i am wondering how many others out there have been in, want to be in or are in a relationship involving more then just them and one partner? I am interested to know how others feel about it and experiences they have been through, negative or positive or statements, feelings or general comments, ect....
Thanks, violetgem

[gemmy]

I would hope you've thought it all through and know that this is something you can do (jealousy is hard nut to get past).

Polyamorus is not something that appeals to me personally but I'm greedy like that. I also don't think it can be done in satisfaction or fairness to All parties involved. Works great for the Master obviously, but I see it as highly selfish to put two or more gurls on a substandard level like that, you're never number one to him and always vying back and forth with each other.

Some idealists see it as 'gaining as sister' and oh, how great for the sub, she gets so much ....blah, blah, blah - have you ever seen two women who can live together and realistically share a man? What if he sleeps with slave X more than slave Y? slave Y can't say anything because it's for her Master's pleasure and isn't that why she's there in the first place?

All complete crap imo - I'm worth far more than to be anything less than his Only one. Sounds self important and it is, just because I'm sub, doesn't mean I lose value or should expect to be any less respected than anyone else.

I wish you luck as only you know what you realistically can and cannot accept.

[Tojo]

That's really something you'll have to work out for yourself violetgem- you don't need anyone to tell you it won't be easy!

It depends too on what your situation is- do you all live in the one house, or just what?

Do you have a pecking order- is one girl more important than the other?

Most importantly of all, do you all have good communication.....

Edit: That post by mastersgem sounds pretty much on the mark to me- I push my luck enough having a wife I live with & an online D/s relationship.

[DowntownAmber]

Let me preface this by saying the polyamorous way of doing things is not my proverbial cup of tea. I'm in the same boat as gem: when I am with a man I want to be the most important person in his life, as I know he is the most important in mine. If for whatever odd reason J-Go and I thought to bring another person into the sexual mix, it would be as a plaything and not a partner. There's an important distiction there for the both of us.

Now, the point of that is not to say that a two partner relationship is the absolute and only way to go. The point is simply that there are playthings and partners, and everyone in a relationship (whether there be two of you or two hundred of you) better damn well know the difference, and better damn well know their role. Has your Master made this clear to you? Has he made this clear to his other sub? If he harbors any delusions that the three of you will be one big happy trio, he needs to address this right away.

Frankly, the only multiple partnerships I have ever seen work well are the ones where the people involved all love each other; not the ones where you've got two people trying to love the same person and not really caring about or knowing each other.

[gemmy]

Don't tell me it's not until you do it yourself! Live and let live is my motto and that is my three cents worth and I never regret what I do.

I agree Pro Dom, live and let live but I don't have to try it to know it's not for me, much in the same way that I don't have to try eating raw oysters to know they aren't for me (for the record, I have tried even knowing I wouldn't like them, and no, I'm not at my most attractive when I'm puking! lol) - Some things you just know for yourself

[icey]

it works for some and not for others like anything else.
its not a type of r/ship ive ever been in (unless you count cheating husbands lol) and it wouldnt wok for me, i dont have a jealous bone in my body in that area as far as im concerned my partners body is my partners body not mine and up to him to do as he pleases with it, though saying that id never do it unless told to.

my problem would be that im used to being the only partner so if someone else were to come along id automatically and probably subconciously be top of the heirachy lol and i think it would take a lot of time for both him and me to get used to the change,
id also have extreme difficulty if asked to Domme the sub like some subs are required to, i really dont think id be able to do that..in fact i know i wouldnt!

in some ways for selfish reasons i think i would like a 'sister' or a 'brother' it would be nice for me too,have an understanding friend,fun and company at times but for the reason i mentioned above i dont think sure it would work.

plus there'd be times id want to sit back and moan it's their turn to cook dinner, hoover or make the coffee lol

ive noticed a tendency that people have of putting themselves first and worrying about how it will work for them and forgetting that the new sub will need time and help to get used to the situation too if he/she's coming into an already etablished relationship.

[Warbaby1943]

For me personally it would not work but there are many here, or at least used to be here, who disagree with me. It certainly has to be a personal choice and one you can live with. If you have any doubts about it working out, it probably won't.

I think you can find may threads dealing with exactly this subject here in the forum that may give you more of an insight then you are getting in just this one thread. Wish I could direct you to these threads but I know they are here since I have read many of them in the past.

[TomOfSweden]

I just wanted to say that violetgem is asking people who have experience from this, what their experiences are. People who don't have any, beside the odd threesome... like me... are not really in a place to add to this discussion.

[icey]

i probably misunderstood as usual lol but she also asked what other people feel about it, and its often helpful to hear other peoples thoughts and feelings on things whether they've done it or not,
anyway if we didnt then many theads wouldnt get any replys at all.

[sidhewolf]

my ex Master and i restarted a relationship, but he also has a slave at this time. It is taking some getting used to since i have never been in a relationship with another sub or slave involved like this.
So i am wondering how many others out there have been in, want to be in or are in a relationship involving more then just them and one partner? I am interested to know how others feel about it and experiences they have been through, negative or positive or statements, feelings or general comments, ect....
Thanks, violetgem

Hello Violetgem~

I have been Polyamorous All of my Life. And I have Lived Poly for most of it. The Relationship configurations have varied over Time. I've been involved in Poly Families, as a 2ndry Partner, a Tertiary Partner, one on one, the 3rd in a Primary Coupleship, and as the hinge in a Vee. Some of the Relationship(s)have ended, or changed, over Time. From my point of view, when Poly works, as Pro Dom has said, it's bliss. When it doesn't work, it is as much hell as any other Style of Relationship that didn't work out.

I'm not sure what you are seeking for information specifically? Are you trying to guage the chances of a configuration like this survival? Would you like links to more information? I'm just not sure what you Need from this. If you can tell me more of what you are looking for, maybe I can be of more help to you.

Respectfully~SidheWolf

[violetgem]

ahhh i just typed a long post on this thread and it didn't post it and now it is gone : (. So basically i am going to sum it up and forgive me since it wont be as nice as the one i tried to post. Thanks everyone for the replies. I would love links or threads others have found about this topic. I will come back and write more of what i was trying to post before. Again though, thanks all!!!

[sidhewolf]

ahhh i just typed a long post on this thread and it didn't post it and now it is gone : (. So basically i am going to sum it up and forgive me since it wont be as nice as the one i tried to post. Thanks everyone for the replies. I would love links or threads others have found about this topic. I will come back and write more of what i was trying to post before. Again though, thanks all!!!

I hear you. I hate it when that happens. It's happened to me at lot too *here*. This is the only site I am on that logs me out while I'm on it. But if you log back in on the screen it takes you to, and then hit proceed when the word proceed comes up, many times all your hard work won't be lost

Ok now here is some links for you Violetgem. Most have clickon's for other areas of the site that may apply, or that you may have interests in.

http://www.xeromag.com/fvpoly.html

http://www.laps.org/

http://www.polyamorysociety.org/

http://www.polyamory.org/

http://www.sexuality.org/

Blessings to you on your Journey Violetgem. I am here, or on personal messaging if you wish to discuss anything.

Respectfully~SidheWolf

[Tojo]

I for one look forward to hearing how things are progressing violetgem (or not....as the case may be!)

Long posts are usually worth copying before you hit the reply button- it only takes a sec to highlight & copy. Usually logging back on works though, as sidhewolf says.

I often have to leave in the middle of a post to do something, & don't get back for ages

[icey]

think ive mentioned it before but hopefully its worth mentioning again, its also worth opening the who's online page in a seperate window so its constantly refreshing and unless for some reason the site stops loading it wont log you out. and as tojo said highlight and copy.
or if its a long post maybe writing it in a word doc first?