For an example MINE and I retake it often because I keep changing.

Submissive BDSM Play Partner Check List

This questionnaire should be filled out by a Dom/Master and provided to their sub/slave before playing with them. This will provide a quick "head-start" to identifying limits, negotiating and finding common ground for play.


For each item, you need to provide two answers:
First write YES or NO next to each item to indicate if the Dom/Master has done this to his sub/slave.
Mark N/A if it does not apply to your gender.
Next, indicate for each item how you FEEL about that activity by rating it on a scale of NO or 0
to 5.

NO means you will NOT do that item under any circumstances (a hard limit).

0 (zero) indicates you have utterly no desire to do that activity and don't like doing it (in fact, may loath it) and would ordinarily object to doing it, but you would be willing to do it to please the Dominant if it they really wanted it. (sometimes called a "soft limit").

1 means you don't want to do or like to do this activity, but wouldn't object if it were asked of you by your submissive/slave.

2 means you are willing to do this activity, but it has no special appeal for you.

3 means you usually like doing this activity, at least on an irregular/ occasional basis.

4 means you like doing this activity, and would like to experience it on a regular basis.

5 means the activity is a wild turn-on for you, and you would like it as often as possible.

Mark with an asterisk (*) those items which you are willing to do only with you current sex partner(s), but not with casual play-partners.

Note any additional information, which might be important for your sub/slave to know. There is intentionally some overlap between categories. Unless otherwise stated, the Sub is the recipient of the activity.

Experience, Willingness Question or Comments
yes/no NO or 0-5 written in by sub


Abrasion: yes 3
Age play: no 2
Anal sex: yes 5 this is a must, but done correctly for enjoyment for both
Anal plugs (small): yes 4
Anal plugs (large): yes 4
Anal plug (public, under clothes): yes 4
Animal roles: no 3
Arm & leg sleeves (armbinders): yes 4
Asphyxiation: yes 2
Auctioned for charity: no 2
Bathroom use control: yes 3
Bestiality: no no
Beating (soft): Yes 4
Beating (hard): no 2
Blindfolds: yes 5
Being serviced (sexual): yes 5
Being bitten: no no I enjoy light biting of my sub/slave but no in return
Breast/chest bondage: yes 4
Breath control: yes 2
Branding: no 3
Boot worship: yes 3
Bondage (light): Yes 5
Bondage (heavy): yes 5
Bondage (multi-day): yes 4
Bondage (public, under clothing): yes 5
Bondage and Sex: yes 5
Breast whipping: yes 3
Brown showers (scat): no no
Cages (locked inside of): no 3
Caning: yes 2
Catheterization: no no
Cells/Closets (locked inside of): yes 3
Chastity belts: no 3
Chauffeuring: yes 4
Choking: yes 2
Clothespins breast/nipples: yes 4
Clothespins labia/clit: yes 3
Clothespins body: yes 2
Cock worship: yes 5
Collars (worn in private): yes 5
Collars (worn in public): yes 5
Competitions (with other Subs): yes 4
Corsets (wearing): yes 5 again on the sub/slave
Cuffs: yes 5
Cuffs (metal): yes 5
Cutting: no no
Dilation: yes 4
Double penetration: yes 4 device or with a male sub following my directions
Electricity: yes 4
Enemas: no no
Enforced chastity: yes 5 short term in preparation of a scene
Examinations (physical): no 3
Exercise (forced/required): yes 5
Exhibitionism (friends): yes 4
Exhibitionism (strangers): yes 3
Eye contact restrictions: yes 3
Face slapping: yes
Fantasy abandonment: yes 2 mostly for punishment
Fantasy rape: yes 3
Fantasy forced deep throat: yes 4
Fantasy forced cunt licking: yes 3
Fantasy forced rape anal: yes 4
Fantasy gang-rape: no 2
Fisting (anal): no 1
Fisting (vaginal): yes 4
Following hand signals by sub/slave: yes 4
Following orders by sub/slave: yes 5
Foot worship: no 3 would use as punishment mostly unless sub craves
Forced dressing of sub: yes 5
Forced homosexuality: yes 3
Forced masturbation: yes 5
Forced nudity (private): yes 5
Forced nudity (around others): yes 5
Forced servitude of sub: yes 4
Full head hoods: yes 4
Gags (cloth): no 3
Gags (penis shaped): yes 4
Gags (rubber): yes 5
Gags (tape): yes 2
Gates of Hell: No 2
Genital sex: yes 5
Given sub away to another Dom (temp): yes 3
Given away to another Domme (temp): no 3
Given sub away to another Dom (perm): no no
Given away to another Domme (perm): no no
Golden showers: no 1
Greetings rituals: yes 4
Hairbrush spankings: yes 4
Hair pulling: Yes 4
Hand jobs (giving): yes 5 to female sub/slave only
Hand jobs (receiving): yes 4
Harems (serving w/other subs): yes 3 had 2 slaves for 3 years live in
Harnessing (leather): yes 4
Harnessing (rope): yes 3
Having food chosen for sub: yes 4 I order at restaurants always
Having clothing chosen for sub: yes 4 I set dress codes and for special events
Head (giving cunnilingus): yes 5
Head (giving fellatio): no no
Head (receiving cunnilingus female only): n/a
Head (receiving fellatio male only): yes 5
High heel worship: no 2 having sub worship Domme/or selected play partner
Homage with tongue (non-sexual): yes 3
Hot oils (on genitals of sub): yes 3
Hot waxing of sub: yes 4
Housework (sub doing): yes 5 this depends on living conditions
Human puppy dog: Yes 3
Humiliation (private): yes 4
Humiliation (public): yes 3
Hypnotism: yes 5
Ice cubes: yes 5
Infantilism: no no
Initiation rites: yes 5 includes greetings and house rules & ceremony
Injections: no no
Intricate (Japanese) rope bondage: yes 3
Interrogations: yes 2 done as part of punishment for offense
Kidnapping sub: yes 4
Kneeling sub: yes 5 part of private greeting ritual and at command
Leather clothing: yes 5
restraints chains: yes 4
restraints leather: yes 4
restraints rope: yes 3
Lectures for misbehavior: yes 4
Licking (non-sexual): yes 3
Manacles & Irons: yes 5
Manicures (giving): yes 3
Massage (giving): yes 5
Massage (receiving): yes 5
Medical scenes: no 2
Modeling for Dom’s erotic photos: yes 4
Mouth bits: yes 3
Mummification: yes 4
Nipple clamps: yes 4
Nipple cloths pins: yes 3
Nipple weights: yes 3
Oral/anal play by sub (rimming): yes 4
Over-the-knee spanking: yes 5
Orgasm denial: yes 5 Orgasm with permission only, for 1 day preceding scene
Orgasm control: yes 5
Outdoor scenes: yes 5
Outdoor sex: yes 4
Phone sex (serving Dom): yes 3
Phone sex (serving Dom's friends): no 3
Piercing (temporary, play-pierce): no no
Piercing (permanent): yes 4
Prison scenes yes 3
Pony slave: no 2 some growing interested in this
Public exposure: yes 3
Public tasks: yes 4
Pussy spanking: yes 5 at least lightly
Pussy whipping: yes 4 lightly
Pussy worship: yes 4 only when order to a Domme or female sub by the Dom
Riding crops: yes 4 can be part of play or much harder for earned punishment
Riding the "horse" (crotch tort.): yes 3
Rituals: yes 5 important to establish relationship on going
Religious scenes: no no
Restrictive rules on sub behavior: yes 5
Rubber/latex clothing: yes 2
Rope body harness: yes 3
Saran wrapping: yes 2
Scratching – getting: yes 2
Scratching – giving: yes 3
Sensory deprivation: yes 5
Serving by sub: yes 5
Serving as sub art: yes 3
Serving as sub ashtray: no no possibly as punishment for gross offense
Serving as sub furniture: yes 2
Serving as a sub maid: yes 3
Serving as sub toilet: no no
Serving as sub waitress/waiter: yes 3
Serving orally by sub (sexual): yes 5
Serving other Doms (supervised): yes 3
Serving other Doms (unsupervised): yes 2 has to be agreed upon by sub
Sexual deprivation (short term): yes 4
Sexual deprivation (long term): yes 2 only as punishment so far
Shaving (body hair): yes 5 shave wax or lazored for arm pits and legs
Shaving (head hair): no 2
Shaving (pubic hair): yes 5
Sleep deprivation: yes 2
Sleep-sacks: yes 3
Slutty clothing (private): yes 5
Slutty clothing (public): yes 3
Spanking in private: yes 5
Spanking in public: yes 3
Spanking in bdsm parties: yes 3
Spanking pleasure: yes 5
Spandex clothing: yes 3 sub wearing it
Speech restrictions (when, what): yes 4
Speculums (Anal): yes 3
Speculums (vaginal): yes 3
Spreader bars: yes 5
Standing sub in corner: yes 3
Stocks (adjustable): yes 4
Stocks (fixed): yes 4
Straight jackets: no 1
Strap-on-dildos (sucking on): yes 3 only if shared with Domme
Strap-on-dildos (penetrated by): yes 3 only if shared with Domme
Strap-on-dildos (wearing): yes 3 only if shared with female sub/slave
Strapping (full body beating): yes 1
Suspension (upright); yes 4
Suspension (inverted): yes 4
Suspension (horizontal): yes 4
Supplying new partners for Dom: yes 3 again must be agreed upon by sub
Swallowing semen: yes 5
Swallowing urine: no no possible as punishment
Swapping (with one other couple): yes 3 not a requirement agreement only
Swinging (multiple couples): yes 3 not a requirement agreement only
Tattooing of sub for ownership purposes: yes 3 not a requirement agreement only
Teasing: yes 4
Tickling: yes 3 reserve the right under any condition as punishment
Triple penetration of sub: yes 3 if agreed to by sub
Triple penetration of sub by 3 males: no 2 if agreed to by sub and under my control
Uniforms: yes 4
Including others: yes 3 if agreed to by sub and under my control
Vaginal dildo: yes 5
Verbal humiliation: yes 2 punishment unless sub/slave desires it
Vibrator on genitals: yes 5
Voyeurism (watching others): yes 3
Voyeurism (your Dom w/others): yes 3
Video (watching others): yes 5
Video (recordings of sub): yes 4
Water torture: no 3
Wearing symbolic jewelry: yes 5
Whipping YES 3 flogging but harsh whipping needs to be discussed
Wooden paddles: yes 4
Wrestling: yes 2