Need some suggestions

[davidnhisgirl]

Ok well I have a live in submissive that is also my fiancee and we have two kids. I was wondering as for as punishments or just some tougher tasks that I can give out when they are around.

Also my other question is my submissive is a really challenge at times so I was wondering when you have a submissive that likes to test you alot; what would be some good ways to break her of those habits.

David

[TomOfSweden]

Ok well I have a live in submissive that is also my fiancee and we have two kids. I was wondering as for as punishments or just some tougher tasks that I can give out when they are around.

Also my other question is my submissive is a really challenge at times so I was wondering when you have a submissive that likes to test you alot; what would be some good ways to break her of those habits.

David

Have you asked her why she tests you a lot? If you don't like it, there's a communication problem, right?

[_ID_]

First thing to do is to express your frustration to her, as well as your 'disappointment' in her behavior. Once she understands what she is doing, make sure she knows you don't approve.

Things to do if the kiddies are around should be done so that they will not see. Depending on your arrangement, ginger root to the pussy could be good. If she enjoys pain, then simply ignoring her will frustrate her.

[Rhabbi]

The kids situation is one I cannot address directly, other than saying to keep it out of their view as much as possible.

As for the testing, it is a natural thing, and one that I tend to encourage. This allows her to feel free to speak up when there really is a problem. Talk to her, and if it really bothers you l let her know, and then point it out when she does it.

My advice would be to let her test you, as in the long run it will give her more faith in you, and you in yourself.

[Sir_Russell]

Sounds like you have a strong willed sub there that is making sure that you will stay and can control her. I have gone through this for close to 2 years with morgan so I understand that it is frustrating. Either she is worth proving yourself too or she isn't

[Austerus]

A nice punishment that can be carried out around children is one that is often assigned to young misbehaving school-children...writing sentences. Give her a sentence at the top of a page, tell her to to sit her butt down in a chair, and not to move until she has copied it 50, 100, 200, whatever times.

It's not exactly hardcore pain action or anything (hand cramps aside) but I've found it can be extremely effective and also pretty humiliating (if you and she are into that kind of thing.) If the kids are old enough to read what mommy is writing though, you may have to be careful about where you sit her and where the kids are.

[Logic1]

lol
I just had Bart Simpson flashbacks

another punishment could be her being plugged or wearing a rope harness underneath her clothes during the day. That shouldnt be seen by the children and could be punishing (or humiliating somewhat)

[Clevernick]

Austerus, welcome to the forums and I notice you've read my story. And the writing lines appears there as a punishment too.

Of course writing lines can be combined with other activities too... (WEG)

[TomOfSweden]

Here's one that applies to my life now. You could always hide her Harry Potter book.

[Logic1]

Here's one that applies to my life now. You could always hide her Harry Potter book.

LOL!
evil thoughts man, eeevil I say

[tired.of.vanilla{DJ}]

Confine her to a certain space. Such as the kitchen and force her to clean. I know I would HATE that and most kids stay clean of a cleaning going on cause they are afraid to have to take part. Make her kneel and dust a crowded bookshelf or straighten the pots and pans drawer in a painful kneel would also get my attention.

[Sir_Russell]

Let me warn you about punishment, don't make it anything that you want her to do for you, IE I love it when mine kneels for me so I would never have her kneel as punishment. That goes for sex acts too.

Task her a lot during the day and you may find that she will not be so quick to displease.

[Harsh Master]

Tell her to close her eyes and imagne she is over your lap being spanked 150 times and she can feel each spank land on her bare bottom. That should get her wriggiling and squiming then aater do it for real when no one is about to disturb you

[Platonicus]

A few idea that come to mind: require her to copy a book word for word; some type of forced exercise; suspension of some activity she enjoys for a period of time; require her to watch C-Span or some similarly mind numbing program for a specific period of time and then prepare for you a detailed report on what it was about. The possibilities are endless, just about any requirement to perform some task that would not be enjoyed, superficially innocent, as a reminder of who is in charge.

[ces3]

When it comes to the children its quite simple to avoid them having any knowledge of your lifestyle if your careful. When children are in the room you can even play a little by just covering up on couch together with a blanket. If thats to close for comfort for you as long as their old enough to be left alone for a second my wife(sub) and I use the excuse that one of us is getting a shower than the other one waits a minute and syas they have to go to bathroom. You cant leave them alone to long but it does give you a little time.

[Guest 91108]

I've found a butterfly vibe with me having the remote nice.. also combining or using alone a rope thong. make her rock/rub on it when seated. You'll know if she's doing it if you watch her expressions well enough. smiles.

[wingsofanangel]

Lil subbie me would like to comment

I am a "tester" I cannot help it. I have always been one who pushes buttons and tests people... I don't always quiet know when to stop. Its not me wanting to be bad persay... its just I am.. overly curious? I get bored easily?

Anyway. I would say do not try to stiffle her imagination... or the wheels the are constantly turning in her head. A "Broken" sub. can be quite a bore. I have heard of very few Doms who want a doormat. After all one of the major things between a Dom and sub is to learn and grow together. Its all about experiences. If a sub. feels she is not free to blossom then things probably won't progress well.

I say let her know there is a time and place for this kind of attitude. If you've just gotten home from a hard day of work the last thing you want is to be pushed and proded and tested. So thats a time you would like to discourage her use of this.. tactic (yes... if she is anything like me and other "testy" subs... its a tactic.) She may be doing this just to get you to put your foot down at times. I used to "top from the bottom" by testing.. if I wanted a spanking.. I'd get it by.. testing.. kind of a reverse pyscology thing.

Its hard to find a balance isn't it? Of letting a sub be "Free" to blossom with this and also setting a boundary of when enough is enough.


I found for me.. while it kills me inside....Being left alone from my Dom was the worst. Him, not speaking to me for a small while, while I was left to sit in a corner and think, not move, not talk, not fidget, just think. And after lets say 20 minutes, discuss what happened.

Anything like writing sentences... tedious things is TORTURE for me. I am a very hyper... kind of person. I have ADHD. So tedious tasks drive me insane or having to sit and be quiet is awful.

Talk openly with her about things she dislikes, ecourage her to be honest. And then explain that at times these things may have to be used to punish her. I find most subs. like spankings or kneeling infront of their Masters.. so that is no good.

Wow.. I am rambling here, arn't I? I hope I have gotten to some point in all of this....

[Rhabbi]

Excellent post wings.

[wingsofanangel]

-hugs- thanks Rhabbi

[Naomisagoodgirl]

Along the same lines as writing sentences and watching CNN, my master has me write essays on why what I did was wrong and what I learned.

[Sir_Russell]

Punishment should be that, it should never be what she wants or likes or that the Dom wants and likes. Punishment should hurt both of you if it is to be effective. When I give a punishment I know that I have failed too and then have to find one that hurts enough to change behavior and to do that I must use my knowledge of her.

Doms that don't pay attention to the little things she does will never gain the knowledge to make punishment meaningful