Does anyone else take Psychiatric medication.

[Leahsworm]

i take a number of what are called psychotropic medications which make me very placid and submissive to Mistress Leah. Although She does not keep me in a jail cell, i often fantasize about it. Mistress Leah does however, keep a locked steel collar on my neck and my hands cuffed to a chain around my waist and chains on my ankles to hobble me, 24/7, unless She is disciplining me. i sleep bound in a leather sleepsack at the foot of Mistress Leah's King size bed. i spend my days as a live in slave, cleaning and doing chores. Mistress lets me use the computer so long as i have completed all the tasks that She has assigned to me. i have not been out of the house for almost 3 years now, except for my every 3 month visit to the Psychiatrist for follow up and medication renewal. I must take the bus to the Doctor. I always get laughed at on the bus and in the Doctors office, but i don't care anymore.

i find that on the medications that i can take severe torture. Mistress Leah is an extremely sadistic Lady and tortures me unmercifully. i have learned to enjoy the torture and even look forward to it. i wear a CB 3000 but it really does not matter because the meds do not allow me to get an erection anyway. The CB is mostly because i am not allowed to touch myself. Mistress Leah does not want me to get an erection anyway, so it is all well and good. She says that it is disrespectful to get a hard on in front of Her unless She wants to see it hard. If She desires me to be erect, She gives me a shot in the penis of a drug called Edex. It makes me hard within a few minutes and lasts for 2 hours or so. I get a shot of Edex on my birthday and am allowed to jerk off for Mistress Leah while She pulls on the hemostat clamps that She loves to attatch to my nipples.

i am also very modified. i am completely shaved, head to toe. i have a 6 gauge tongue stud, a septal piercing with a 4 gauge ring in my nose. i also have 2 gauge nipple rings and a matching 2 gauge Prince Albert in my pud. i also have 2 tattoos on the right side of my ass. The top one says "Property of Mistress Leah" under that one it says "worm". On the left side of my ass, i have ying yang colored red and black with a set of handcuffs inside the circle. i am also branded. "ML" above my right nipple and an "L" above my pud, on my pubic patch.

Some people would consider me a "sicko", i prefer, a willing participant, in the art of being an extreme slave, to a true believer in Female Domination.

[AdrianaAurora]

I don't consider you a "sicko", but I am concerned about you. If you take all these medications how much of what is being done to you is of your own free will? Not to mention they are a huge (mental and physical) health risk.

Stay well,
Adriana

[Leahsworm]

i take the medicines to manage my mental illness. Originally it was the Doctor who put me on the medicines. It just keeps me functional where before i was somewhat of a blithering crazy. i have always had thoughts on being owned and Dominated. The medication just helps me accept it better.

[cadence]

I am a bit bothered by what you just said.
In one sentence you say you were put on medication to control your mental illness. In another you say it helps you accept being owned and Dominated.

I don't have a problem with people taking medications for any sort of mental illness, what I do have a problem with is taking a medication to help control something that your mind can do anyway.
I do know that some people need to take medication to control certain thought patterns or behaviour, while others can do so through behaviour modification, sometimes using medication only for a brief period of time to help out.

I don't know what your mental illness is, and if you don't want to divulge that it is fine.
What I do see though is that you are taking medication because you have a problem accepting the fact you are owned and controlled, and someone else is allowing this to happen.

I have issues all of the time with being owned, and being used as an object for someone else's pleasure. I wrestle with the thoughts of how I can allow someone to objectify me, use me, and I crave it.
To me it seems wrong somehow to enjoy being treated badly, but I don't allow it to destroy me by thinking it is wrong.

If both of you enjoy and accept this, why is it hard for you to accept it without medication?

Please don't take this post as an attack, I am merely curious as to why you said what you said.

[Virulent]

Worm - for what its worth, I respect your attitude. You know what you want and you're willing to go to much greater lengths for it than most people. Stay hardcore!

[orchidsoul]

you're willing to go to much greater lengths for it than most people. Stay hardcore!

I disagree completely with your statement. I do not feel greater lengths should include altering our mental and physical capacity.

I'm sorry Worm, I echo the same concern as others.

For whatever reasons you need to be medicated, accepting and withstanding your slavehood should absolutely not be one of them. Although your choices are surely more hardcore than my own, that's not what I have concern over- it's whether or not you are lucid enough to be making these decisions.

Also, it's never safe to play in an altered state and you say your medication allows you to endure more severe tortures. The unaltered state of our body and mind has a way of letting us know when we are at our threshold. You can't be aware of your own body's limits, and also may be causing permanent damage.

Please don't take this as an attack either- it's genuine concern.

[Leahsworm]

Thank you so much for all the concern. i have always wanted to be owned. It has always been my fantasy. i was unable to acheive this goal before, due to my paranoid schizophrenia and my schizo-affective disorder.

Now, medication is controlling my illness and allowing me to be in a relationship where before i was totally unable to maintain any kind of relationship.

Mistress knows of this and is very supportive of my ability to make(believe it or not)decisions on my own. i want this kind of relationship and have always dreamed of it. i am very happy, more than i have ever been in my life.

Mistress Leah inflicts no permanent damage on me. SHE loves me. SHE also loves to whip and punish me but never once has SHE hurt me beyond my limits nor has SHE done anything considered out of line. i just can take longer and harder beatings but nothing more than bruises or welts are EVER left on my body.

i guess that i should have been more specific in my description of our relationship.

The bottom line, as i said before, is that i am happy and in no danger.