My first post ever

[Mr Sazabi]

Hey guys just want to say hello. I’ve been thinking about this for some time, but never had enough courage to post anything.

Just to introduce myself; I’m 25 living with my beautiful spouse, but she’s vanilla and I think, she’ll always be. I’ve never had a chance to talk to anybody about what I really am or what I like. And I don’t want to be one of those who are 50 and finally realize that BDSM is what they are really into. I really love her and my life is just great, but there is nothing more I wish each day than; putting a collar on her neck and making her to do tasks and rewarding (or punishing) her as I want.

Now here is my question; What do you do? I mean I don’t want to leave my partner, but I can’t live like this anymore.

[skp2bear]

Welcome. I'm sure you will find several doms who have gone through much the same thing and will be more than happy to mentor you. Have you visited the forums for dominants and submissives and bdsm talk. I've seen things in especially the latter two whichmay prove very helpful.

[Euryleia]

Welcome to the forums.

You could always sublimate your desires by writing erotic stories of your fantasies or by living vicariously through sites like this. Have you talked to her, though? You will never get what you want unless you ask for it.

[MasterBaron1945]

hi

next time you are in bed with your wife, put her hands on the head board and say quietly, keep them there.

if she moves them stop and put them back
if she moves again wisper "Do you want me to tie them"

you might be pleasently surprised!

MasterBaron

[love2serve]

hi, i agree with euryleia above. I started by writing stories, and chatting/role-playing with likeminded people on here, then after a few drinks came out with it all - my husband was fine about it - doesnt necessarily want to join me (although has spanked me and tied me up as a consequence of our conversation) - i however would like to be collared and serve him (with kids of course it is difficult) but he just isnt into the giving orders/dom thing - s'ok i'll take what he can give and get the rest from here - its a case of taking the bull by the horns maybe. Pick your moment, come round to it gently, do as euryleia said above - write about it - thats what i did, he read the stories, said how horny they made him and then i surprised him big style by admitting that i was the author - he was so proud of me - suddenly not just a 'wife and mum' but the old sexy lady he married. Just one perspective, hope u can find your way, and if not hope to chat with you on here. love2serve

[Alexia_30 {UT}]

Welcome. It's nice to meet you.

Have you ever asked her if she's into any of this? Maybe tried a few things here and there? Maybe she is thinking the same things but is too scared to voice them. Or perhaps she has a latent desire she just hasn't had awakened yet? I really like MasterBaron's advice. *smiles* It might ignite a fire in your bedroom. At least, I am fanning myself. LOL!

Best of luck to you! There are tons of wonderful tools and people here to help you.

[The Merry Slut]

Hey Mr Sazabi!

Often in our relationships, even with our best friends we find it difficult to be open when it comes to sexual fantasies and desires. We will talk about other needs but will let the buck fall short in these very important areas.
What will our partners think? Will they worry that my thoughts are "strange" or not "normal"? Etc.
We all have these thoughts yet we somehow assume that our partners don't. That they don't have fantasies like ours or even other fantasies.
Like Alexia said...have you spoken to your spouse about some of your fantasies? Or the wonderful little trick that Master Baron suggested.
Start small...ask her what some of her fantasies are and work with her on making those a reality. Then start slow with yours.
It takes time to learn how to be open about something society deems as "taboo" but it's not worth your sexuality suffering or your marriage for that matter.
Good luck!

[Tufty]

Hello and to the Forums

[Ozme52]

I know it's a hard conversation to start with a spouse you know in your heart to be vanilla.

I've done all the mock bondage, calling her naughty and threatening to turn her over my knee... even gone so far as to obtain slightly more risque lingerie.

If it works... outstanding. But you will have to decide what you'll do if you love her and she is unresponsive to your interests.

That said... not every couple need share every interest to remain together and be happy. But if you can get there with her, all the better.

Good luck.

[rosebud]

Hi Welcome to the Forums! Enjoy!

[Aussiegirl1]

Hi and welcome. You have already recieved some good advice above, but it is up to you to go with the one you feel the most comfortable with. Good luck and I hope it all works out in your favour.

[cadence]

Hello and Welcome to the Forums, I can't say anything else to your question other than reiterating what everyone else has said.
Talk and discuss things with your spouse, be open about everything, but take your time and don't rush into things.

[denuseri]

wellcome to the site

we are so very happy to have you here, the forums are full of great information, as well as having a very nice personels section and chatroom

feel free to pm any of the staff or myself with conserns or questions, we are more than willing to lend a hand

hope to see more of you soon
have lots of fun exploring the site
hugs and kissess
denu

[MrDom]

Hello and welcome

[Mr Sazabi]

Thank you very much, for all your advices and welcomes.

Sure I’ll keep slowly trying with my girl. And yes, I had a little chat about what I’d like to try probably one year ago, but she just giggled and told me not to be silly, since than I haven’t tried.
That’s why I’m here; to get bit of inspiration and life relieve. Thanks again and I shall see you at yours or mine forums soon.

[slaveangel{HM}]

Welcome to the Forum.

[DiablosLittleOne]

Welcome to the Library. I hope you find a home here as I have.

Like the others have said, you should talk to her about it. Honesty is always a very good policy in these matters. Now I wouldn't start out with "Honey I'd love to see you bound, beaten and totally submitted"....slowly and with a vanilla in mind. She may not be as surprised as you think and most likely be very curious and hopefully like minded.

Good luck with introducing your wife to the lifestyle and keep us updated on your progress.