Pain Training

[loonytunes]

Hi, looking for a few tips if poss on training my sub to handle/enjoy higher levels of pain from whippings beatings etc, we have an almost no limits type of arrangement so if i want to beat her then i can, but she does not at this stage really enjoy the pain, not a natural masochist at the moment i think....So i was thinking of going back to basics with this and starting with a little spanking etc then working up from there to caning on her behind, then to her back breasts etc over a period of a few months to allow her to grow used to handling this..
Anyone got any good ideas/tips that you have experienced for learning to convert the pain as it were..................


Loony

[slavelucy]

Hi loonytunes,

i'm not entirely sure what you mean; just to clarify, do you mean you would like her to take more pain, or you would actually like her to enjoy the pain you currenly give her, and more? If the latter, i can kinda recommend gradually combining pleasure with pain...the power of association being quite strong after a period of time..if the former then yes, i think just building up gradually is probably the way to go.

sl

[loonytunes]

Hi Slavelucy, actually i should be a little clearer perhaps when i post, the amount does not seem to be a problem, she will let me do pretty much anything but thats not to say she enjoys it greatly, which in an ideal world, i would love her to do, Actually you have made a good point already, in that there was not a lot going on in a pleasurable way last couple of times, so perhaps the addition of a vibe at the same time may have helped.............Hmmmmmm
Even Doms have to learn sometime

[Finding_Fantasy]

It would be great if all us submissives would enjoy pain... at least from the perpective of our dominants. Unfortunately, if it isn't natural, then I have my doubts that you can "train" someone to like it. It's kind of like brussel sprouts; either you like them or you don't and no matter how much you sugar coat them, they're still gonna be brussel sprouts.

I dislike pain. There are a few activities that I enjoy that involve a certain type of pain, but I am, by no means, a pain slut and no amount of training is going to change that for me. Her pain tolerance may increase, but probably not her enjoyment. That's just my view on things.

[slavelucy]

Actually you have made a good point already, in that there was not a lot going on in a pleasurable way last couple of times, so perhaps the addition of a vibe at the same time may have helped.............Hmmmmmm
Even Doms have to learn sometime

Doms have to learn huh? That must be the best kept secret in the BDSM world... *giggles*

Just be clear tho (although i reckon you caught what i meant already), i didn't mean that you should essentially have to pleasure your submissive in order for her to take pain, i meant that through suffering pain (to whatever extent) whilst experiencing pleasure, one can start to like pain more, even if it's only to the extent of not hating it. FF is right, you cannot force anyone to be a pain slut and in that sense, if someone hates it SO much, they will be fairly unlikely to be able to cum during it anyway...but if someone is capable of experiencing pleasure whilst in pain, if forced (mmmm ), then there is, IMHO, potential there in the sense of mental association.

HTH

sl

[tehya]

When I started on this journey, I swore pain would never be a part of anything I would do. I feared the pain, and quite frankly could not wrap my mind around actually enjoying pain, or deriving pleasured from pain. It was so completely beyond my comprehension.

*grinning* But times have changed, and I have grown and learned much in this past year.

Canopus started out so very slowly with me, and with things that I would not even assiociate as being pain play... things like twisting nipples, clamping them, pegging them, etc... Moving right on up there to slapping them til they turned all shades of colors... *yummo* But I think the most important factor is that he always associated it with receiving pleasure... either by me masturbating while he would torture my nipples, or using other toys to bring extreme pleasure along with the pain. Almost to the point that I could no longer establish which was pain and which was pleasure... they began to blend together... and this is the way it remains to this day...

Now I am learning how to make floggers and even coming up with suggestions of things I would like Master to try on me. The point I think I am trying to make is... Pain just for pains sake is just not enough for some... and really isn't the picture of your slave crying from the pain and writhing in the pleasure you give her at the same time so much more thrilling? My guess is she will gleefully drop to your feet and thank you for giving her that, and in return imagine what you will be receiving!

Master's tehya

[Jones, Nikka]

...i didn't mean that you should essentially have to pleasure your submissive in order for her to take pain, i meant that through suffering pain (to whatever extent) whilst experiencing pleasure, one can start to like pain more, even if it's only to the extent of not hating it. FF is right, you cannot force anyone to be a pain slut and in that sense, if someone hates it SO much, they will be fairly unlikely to be able to cum during it anyway...but if someone is capable of experiencing pleasure whilst in pain, if forced (mmmm ), then there is, IMHO, potential there in the sense of mental association.

Right on, slavelucy! I can attest to the power of mental association, even though in my case, the reverse happened.

Pain and pleasure are opposite (and I believe complementary) emotions/sensations. As a lifetime painslut who had, at the time I discovered bdsm, a very low self esteem, I had to learn to enjoy pleasure at the hands of my lover. He made it happen in my head before he laid a hand on me. Talking to me about it, reading me stories, making me write about it and skillfully mixing a bit of one with a bit of the other during play, soon in my mind, and later in my body, pain and pleasure were truly inseparable.

loonytunes, just be patient about it. It will not happen overnight, but I firmly believe in mind over matter:

"If you do not mind screaming in pain while you are fucked to orgasm, then it does not matter how you are fucked"

[Garnet99]

I have to agree with tehya. When my master and I first started I swore I never wanted to experience pain. However, now he is always incorporating pain with pleasure, and I can endure much more than I ever thought possible. It tends to blend to the point where I can't tell where one stops and the other begins. I still have a very difficult time when there is only pain - but he can do the same thing to me with pleasure and it is exhilarating! We only discovered the joy of BDSM last December and realize we still have so much to learn.
Garnet

[Lilly My Sweet]

I definitely think that the tolerance of pain can be trained and even manipualted to bring pleasure to the receiver. Just think of the whole 'Pavlov's dogs' experiment. The dogs were trained to be fed after hearing the ring of a bell. After time, the dogs drooled simply upon hearing the sound of the bell as they knew that a meal would soon follow. Why wouldn't converting pain into pleasure work in the same way? If you inflict pain upon your partner and follow it with an act that you know will bring on a wave of pleasure for her, then over time, she ought to associate pain with pleasure and actually get off on the pain because of the anticipation of the pleasure to come...i think, hehe.

[Blue_Monday]

Ooh, I'd like to be Pavlov's little puppy in *that* experiment!

I think a tolerance for pain can be built up, and association is important. An inexperienced sub, unless he or she naturally likes pain, has only ever experienced pain in a negative sense, as something that should be minimized and avoided. To experience it and, rather than avoiding it, to *embrace* it, is something of a mental exercise. For me, it's been helpful to take small amounts of pain and remember that it's safe, it won't damage me, it won't go further than I can handle it; to just rethink it as something given in love rather than in anger or whatever.

I don't know if this answers the original question--sounds like maybe it's a moot point now--but this is definitely an interesting topic.