A Bit Nervous

[invisiblegirl]

Hello everyone,

So I am a little nervous writing this post. I have imagined it for a while now but could not find the courage to actually do so.

A little about myself...I am an almost 21 year old female and have had submissive feelings for many years now. However, I have always kept this, along with my BDSM fantasies to myself. I do not feel like I have anyone to confide in who would understand which has left me feeling like there is just something wrong with me.

To be honest, I am probably having some self-esteem issues right now. When I was 16 I became sick and ended up in a wheelchair. While it is uncertain right now if and when I will walk again (which I do plan on doing!), it took its toll on me. I have not had a relationship since, and to be honest any relationships beforehand were not real, but rather puppy love. I chose the name invisiblegirl because that is exactly how I feel sometimes. I am currently a college student, and find that people often see the wheelchair and look right past me without getting to know the real me. I have desires and emotions just like anyone else, and just wish people could see that.

Okay, so now I feel bad whining and complaining about myself in my introduction...it is certainly not the first impression that I want to make, and I hope that in time all of you come to find that I really am a happy and fun person to be around. I just figured I should give an honest backround.


As for why I became interested in BDSM. I like the idea of someone having complete control over me. While I am a very controlling person in many aspects of my life, there are times when I just don't want it. Also becoming sick frightened me at first because I had no control of the situation which I did not like. Although it seems contradictory, I feel like if I could just give the control to someone else at times, then I would not be under pressure or worry that I cannot control the situation. So as you can easily see, control plays a big part in my attraction to the BDSM lifestyle, even though I may find it hard to give up at times

I guess that's enough for now. Don't want to bore anyone with my story. If you do however have any useful advice or information I would really appreciate it.

Take care,
InvisibleGirl

[denuseri]

HUGs and welcome to the Library!

[VaAugusta]

Welcome! And thank you for that thoughtful post. =)

[Dejah Thoris]

Welcome! I have no doubt that you will meet many wonderful people and learn a great deal from this community.

[Netherlord]

Hello and welcome, I enjoyed chatting with you tonight hope to see you again soon!

[rosebud]

Hello, Warm Welcome hugs to the Library!
It's a Pleasure to meet you.
Enjoy!

xx rosie

[petlauren]

Hey. I just wanted to let you know that I understand ENTIRELY how you feel. Especially the part about giving up control so you don't have to worry about not being ABLE to control something yourself. We should definitely talk and friend each other. I use a wheelchair too and at the beginning of a 24/7 relationship as a sub. My Domme knows me very well. She has been my partner for about 2.5 years. We've played around with D/s some, but I have been wanting it for a long time. She finally decided that She would give it to me. Anyway She is calling me now, so I will talk to you sometime soon hopefully.

lauren

[The Tester`]

Great post and welcome to the site...