How can I start to find an online mistress?

[puppyslave]

I'm a newbie sub here and I don't know how to go and find an online mistress or master to help me be introduced to the world of slavery. Can A Dom or domme help me break into this world?

[_ID_]

Post in the personals section.

[Crimson{kacey}]

Even in posting it seems to be a difficult thing to do.

[fetishdj]

Its a long and difficult process. Most Dommes are inundated with potential subs and most of them are not (in their opinion) worth bothering with. There are a lot of wannabes and fakes and those who simply just want to find a Mistress for some quick, dirty sex without any of the committment. So, the first step is to show that you are serious and committed to a lifestyle of service to a woman.

A personal ad may get you some notice but they rarely get answered. The best way to find a Mistress is to interact with the lifestyle in a positive manner. So, you need to post on the forums - asking and answering questions - to show that you are willing to engage in the issues of BDSM, including the ones that are not simply about sex. You need to go into chatrooms and talk to Dommes, subs and Doms in a way that shows you are not a dangerous stalker or a wannabe idiot. Interacting with people as human beings rather than charicatures is a good start. Definitely not walking into a chatroom and shouting 'I am looking for a Domme' as that gets you immediately on most Dommes' ignore lists.

The key is patience. Once Dommes know you as a friend they are more inclined to think of you as a potential sub.

[Ozme52]

Good advice fetish.

And add to that, patience. I spent 2 years posting before anyone began to show any willingness to meet in the flesh. And there are far more submissives in the population than dominants, and even moreso if you are mostly interested in dommes (mistresses).

So show off your intelligence, good intentions, opine a bit, servile can come later and should be primarily based on what the dominant wants from you...

Being too adamant about what you want in a dominant will limit your choices further... and you may miss out on opportunities to learn aspects of the lifestyle you may currently know nothing about firsthand. (Not that you were indicating such... just general advice for all who happen across this thread.)

Good luck.

[fetishdj]

Yes, I would say that servile is only to the Domme who controls you... if you are unowned it is better to be polite and respectful but do not try to be a sub to them.

[Beardy]

collarme.com

[SlaveWithOwner]

Hi, another newbie here... Good question and good advice Cheers!