physiology of a switch

[Zelezniy]

This is a curious matter that has been occupying my thoughts lately. What do you think your role says about you? From my point of view switches are givers and takers. Sub's are givers and Dom's are takers. That's a lame way of looking at things I know. Lets hear your opinion.

[her_Joe]

I don't think it's "lame" at all, but I do think it's overly simplistic.

Can you give us some idea of your background and experience and why you are interested in this approach?

Yes, there are times as a dominant when I am a user ... but there are many times too when I "give" -- for example, in after care.

Can you explain, a bit?

her_Joe

[Zelezniy]

Yes indeed, simple. I don't have a broad experience in BDSM. I am curious because no one has looked at roles from this angle. At list not from what I've read or heard. That's why I'm looking for opinion from others. No one likes stereotypes, but this what roles are, basically. I'm a switch because both ideas are turn on for me but I know I can not be completely balanced and at some point one side will take over. Like I said I have very little experience.

[redEva]

There is lots of things I could and would like to discuss, but to remain on this topic, I can not agree with the statement, not even as in a “simplistic point of view”, because, regardless of which role I take, I know I'm giving and taking in both. Actually, to be even more precise, my feeling is that I am getting/taking more in my submissive role than when I am Toping.

While I might be in “control” when in Dominant role, realistically I am just an instrument in playing out the negotiated on fantasy of my partner. I am the one responsible for EVERYTHING, for his/her pleasure, and pleasure in pain or humiliation or what ever the scene might be. It is my responsibility that all goes well, that all is safe. Should I give into my darkest fantasies and desires … it might not go all that well for sub, and that is something I can not afford.

On the other hand, submitting to someone is my joy. In my submission is my release; freedom of responsibility, freedom of making decisions and owning up for them. When I submit, I give You my total trust and free rains to do what You wish and what I crave for. In this power exchange, sub is the one getting it all IMO.

The line we walk here, in this subtle game of power exchange, is very thin and not all that easy to define.

Thank you for bringing this one up, it is in discussions like this that WE as a community can show occasional by-passers, lurkers and all those curious people out there just how seriously intricate the BDSM world is. Yes, sure there is leather, latex, chains and pain … but it is not about pain and hurt. It is about trust, release and love… eh.. here I go off the tangent.

BTW… welcome Zelezniy

[Ruby]

Good points, Redeva.

In Domme role, I'm a taker and a giver.
In my pet role, I'm a giver and receiver.
As a switch, I enjoy both roles.

Taking, giving or receiving pleasure all work for me.

Zelezniy, there was a brief discussion about this awhile back. I'm glad you've brought it up again as I think it deserves it's own thread.

I don't think it's a matter of doing one thing or another 24/7, I think it's about what fits for the moment and the role a person is currently playing.

Who's next?

[Zelezniy]

There is lots of things I could and would like to discuss, but to remain on this topic, I can not agree with the statement, not even as in a “simplistic point of view”, because, regardless of which role I take, I know I'm giving and taking in both. Actually, to be even more precise, my feeling is that I am getting/taking more in my submissive role than when I am Toping.

While I might be in “control” when in Dominant role, realistically I am just an instrument in playing out the negotiated on fantasy of my partner. I am the one responsible for EVERYTHING, for his/her pleasure, and pleasure in pain or humiliation or what ever the scene might be. It is my responsibility that all goes well, that all is safe. Should I give into my darkest fantasies and desires … it might not go all that well for sub, and that is something I can not afford.

On the other hand, submitting to someone is my joy. In my submission is my release; freedom of responsibility, freedom of making decisions and owning up for them. When I submit, I give You my total trust and free rains to do what You wish and what I crave for. In this power exchange, sub is the one getting it all IMO.

The line we walk here, in this subtle game of power exchange, is very thin and not all that easy to define.

A very interesting point of view I had not considered. Very logical at that. What I am interested is human nature and BDSM role. For example my ex had a husband who was dacryphiliaiac. It did not matter to him what was the cause, suffering was exiting to him. In that extreme case he was the taker and she was the unwilling giver.

Thank you for bringing this one up, it is in discussions like this that WE as a community can show occasional by-passers, lurkers and all those curious people out there just how seriously intricate the BDSM world is. Yes, sure there is leather, latex, chains and pain … but it is not about pain and hurt. It is about trust, release and love… eh.. here I go off the tangent.

BTW… welcome Zelezniy

There I go, dissecting perfectly good post
Oh I agree whole heartily, I don't think there is more joy then have a partner that knows everything about you and can satisfy all your desires.

and thanks for the welcome

[Bald_J_and_F]

We tried switching for each other when we discovered the lifestyle. It didn't work at all. We were both pathetic as Dommes. It just isn't our nature. But we love serving together and find strength in that.