Love isn’t supposed to hurt…

[violetgem]

Disclaimer: I know the grammar is all messed up and what not, just kind of wrote it and didn’t go back and edit it so please forget what you learned in English 101. And I am not homicidal (just had to make that clear) thanks.


A smile on my face
A twinkle in my eye
The makeup covers the marks
It disguises the pain inside.
We act so in love
A perfect match frozen in time
But behind closed doors
You destroy my body, soul, and mind.
It began with you saying you would never hurt me
And I fell into every word
Then you told me you hit me because you love me
I was already so broken down,
The threats you made controlled my life
My body bruised and bleeding
You told me you did it for my own good
That love was your only reason.
I remember the rug burns
Etched into my face that night
I huddled in the corner
Clinging to my life,
You screamed and yelled
And kicked my body
You told me I was whore
You told me I should like the abuse
You said you would beat me till I begged for more.
But I begged the wrong words,
I begged you stop
So you keep doing what you know best,
You pulled me up by my hair
Dragged me across the room,
I could cry no more,
My eyes ran dry
I was alone in a world of pain
You laughed so loud
Looking down on me
You loved me helpless and weak
You told me “you’re welcome”
I got what I deserved
You hugged me and kissed my cheek.
I went to bed with you that night
And laying there I knew I was stuck
You had complete control of my life.
My blood ran cold,
My heart started skipping beats,
I felt the pain turn into anger
It exploded inside of me.
I rolled over quietly,
Opened the drawer,
Looking in I knew,
I told you I didn’t like you having guns,
But this would be my time to thank you.
I watched you sleeping,
You chest breathing up and down
I swear you smiled
As I recalled our love
I needed to break free,
I held the barrel close to your head
And a wave of happiness washed over me.
It was the first real smile to appear on my face,
This one was not covering up our lies,
I laughed out loud like I have heard you do
So many times before.
You’re eyes started to open
But you had no time to react,
I stated the words “I’m doing this because I love you”
And my finger on the trigger pulled back.
It was all in slow motion as I watch your skull shatter
And your blood spit back on my face,
I had to lick my lips and taste your blood
Because so many times before
Your saliva took its place.
The pillow your head laid on
Drank up your blood so quick
I think it was thankful it wasn’t my tears
And I smiled at the thought of it.
I watched your body for a while
Your breathing was no more
Your face was unrecognizable
It was a sight I just adored.
I put the gun to the side
And I laid near your corpse
There was no more fear running through my mind
And I would soon drift off to sleep
You told me you hurt me for my own good
And no one would ever love me like you can
And I thought how ironic it was and how true
Because no one would ever love me like you did
And I was comforted by the thought
That no one ever would…

[Uncle_Ed]

WOW!

Thanks violetgem. It seems appropriate with mine!

[Warbaby1943]

So much feeling and emotion. It was terrific.

[Timberwolf]

Good stuff, that.

[violetgem]

Thanks you guys, and thanks Uncle_Ed for encouraging me to post it, this was one of those things I planned to keep in my closet so thanks for the responses. xoxo

[mina]

I don't know if that was intended to be hot or not, but I loved it! Sexy indeed.

It also reminds me of a Manson song. "Shoot myself to love you, if I loved myself I'd be shooting you."

[Talia]

violetgem....damn...really with the power of your words, images you evoke and the depth of this poem...I didn't even notice any grammar issues...I'm not going back to check mind you...but WOW! That was WOW. I'm glad you decided bring this out of the closet and post it.

Bravo!

SB

[LadyFyreWolf]

Wow is right. This resonates with me in a few different ways. Thank you for sharing it.

[violetgem]

I know I am responding to this post really late, but just wanted to say thank you to those I haven't thanked yet!!