safe words

[smilie]

My Master and i are very new to this life and we are trying to be as safe as we can about this(Please understand that I am the one who asked him to be my master and i started it all) after talking about it and setting up safe words no i have a question for you all, Have you ever gotten upset at your sub for using a safe word when you thought she could handle more?

I am just curious seeing as i have never had the thoughts of even using the ones we have set up! thank you for your time.

[BaronVonWinger]

I for 1 have never been angered by the use of a safe word. & I have found most subbies are like u, would never use the safeword unless it was totally needed. It has never been a prob in my experiance with a long list of subbies infact I have found just the opposite to be true where I have raised hell finding out after a scene how hard a time they was having & didnt safe word.

[MrDom]

only time i get made is if she dosen't say it loud enough for me to hear. Or like the Baron said if she didn't use it when she had a very tough time. It wonderful to have her please me but not where she has a problem handling the pain.



MrDom

[_ID_]

I find sometimes its easier to have multiple ways of communicating that a submissive is approaching a threshold they have, either pain, or situational. It has been my experience that submissives can and very well do loose the ability to form speech coherently. So if the submissive comes to a point mentally that they muster the ability to form words, let alone loud enough for me to hear. Then I have already gone beyond what they were able to endure.

So I developed ways for them to communicate non-verbally. I find that a golf ball in the hand is more than enough to accomplish this task when the hands are not on the ground. The submissive simply lets go of the ball, and the scene is stopped until it can be determined if they are able or want to continue, or if they need the aftercare of stopping a scene with their signal. If in the prone position, then I have them extend the fingers arm straight from shoulder to wrist with the fingers spread. Watching for these signs helps me to gage if the submissive is approaching their threshold.

As far as being disappointed if a submissive uses the safe word. Yes, I am disappointed, but not in the submissive. I am disappointed in myself, as I pride myself on the ability to read the body language well enough to know if the sub is trying to communicate they want more, or to back off. The shoulders being the key.

I am never disappointed in a submissive who is able to express they have reached their ability to withstand whatever it happens to be that I am putting them through.

[smilie]

thank you for the answers i am really trying to learn as much as i can so ican please him even more!

[Ozme52]

Some say the safeword is really for the master... so he can really let himself go yet know you're still safely within your limits.

[smilie]

well i think in my safe word is more so i can get what i need out of our play time it allowes him to know that my gasps are not a sign that he is truely hurting me but that if i need Him to stop i can tell him, It is hard to make him understand that sometimes simple words like ouch just kinda slip out! thank you every one for posting i am really learning lots while i am in here adn i do appreciate the info

smilie