Rhabbi's 3rd Assignment

[Dragon's muse]

Set the scene and walk me through a picture perfect, dream like seduction. You can be the seducer or the seducee.

Is it candlelight and roses? Or candlewax and thorns?

i look forward to finding out.

[Rhabbi]

As you walk into the house you see that the lights are off, you wonder why, but know that I am here and feel safe.

The first thing you see is a single candle burning on the coffee table, with a note propped against it. You smile as you move closer and recognize you favorite scent. As you take the note you pause to breath deep of the aroma of the candle, and you smile.

As you read the note, you feel a quiver inside that matches your anticipation for the evening. You still marvel at how much control I can exert over your desires, even when I am not physically there, as now.

The instructions are clear, and you move to the bedroom casually dropping your clothes along the way, without looking to see if I am watching. You enter the bedroom and are briefly curious about my plans as you see the candles scattered about. You see our favorite blindfold and an ice chest, and the anticipation grows as you feel the heat in your groin. Smiling as you feel me move up behind you close your eyes and wait.

You feel my arms as I hug you from behind and you lean back into me, and move against me in that way that you know I like. You then feel me reaching for something, and are tempted to peek, but you are enjoying this too much to spoil my plans. You smile as I lift your hair to tie the blindfold, and you relax knowing that you are going to enjoy whatever happens.

I gently guide you into the room, and a shudder goes through you as I caress your neck. As your corset loosens you move in a way that you know enhances your attractiveness to me, and you can hear the slight tremor in my breath as I control my impulses. This brings a smile of anticipation to your face, and a warm glow to your body, because you know that I have something special planned.

You carefully step out of the corset when I pull it down, and eagerly wait my next move. You feel my hand caressing your calves and gently pulling down the straps of your heels. You frown as you feel me stand, but when I take your hand and place it on the wall, you realize that I am concerned for your balance and smile again.

When you again feel my hands at your ankles, you are secure as you lift your feet so that I can take off your shoes. Anticipating my next move, you drop your arm to your side, and take a deep breath. Then you feel my hands caressing your legs, slowly moving up toward your hips. When I reach your panties, you feel my thumb hooking into them and gently pulling them down. You smile as I help you out of them; this is what you have been anticipating.
You hear me reaching into the ice chest and wonder what I am doing. You strain your ears, but are unable to identify the sound you here next.

“Open your mouth.”

You obey with a whimper, and are surprised to feel a spoon in your mouth. You close your mouth without thinking, and are delighted to taste your favorite ice cream. You let it melt in your mouth and open it again, anticipating more. You feel me move closer to you, and as I gently bite your lip, you lean into me, kissing me deeply. As you start to lift your arms, you feel me pull back.

“Not yet,” you hear me whisper in a choked voice.

Then you feel my hands reach out, one cold from holding the ice cream, and caress you through your bra. You lean into the caresses and whimper as I pull your breasts out. You smile because this bra clasps in the front, and I do not have to stop while I unclasp it.

You feel me lean into you and begin nibbling at your neck, and you tilt your head to the side to give me access. You whimper as I step back and almost reach for me but hold back. You smile as I take your hand and guide you to the bed. You turn in anticipation, and sit ass I gently push you back. Lying down, you shift so that you are in the right position. I gently guide you toward the center of the bed, and you smile as I take your hand and slip a cuff onto your wrist. You eagerly spread your legs and bring your other arm up so that I can cuff it to the other side of the bed. As I move about restraining you, you undulate to let me know how excited you are.

After this, you can feel me settling onto the bed, and when you feel a spoon at your mouth, you open wide to accept more ice cream. You hear my breathing become more ragged, and then you feel me putting down the ice cream and reaching for something else.

The next thing that you feel is me scooping ice cream onto your breasts. You shriek just because of the cold, but smile in anticipation because you know what is coming next.

[Dragon's muse]

Marvelously evokative. i actually got chill bumps when you talked about the icecream hitting her skin. The only thing i would really add is a few more details. What scent is the candle? Exotic sandalwood, earthy musk, spicy eucalyptus, fresh pine, light spring floral? What flavor is the ice cream? Where did the chill bumps first appear when the ice cream hit her skin? What is the texture of the blindfold? Once she is blindfolded, then you can really bring in the other senses. Does she smell your aftershave, your soap? Is the blindfold silk, velvet, leather?

A marvelous beginning that makes me want to know what happens with the rest of the evening.

Now on to the nits. Words in this color are unnecessary and can be deleted.

In a narrative like this it is assumed that it progresses in chronological order, so most of the "then"s can be safely deleted.

As you walk into the house you see that the lights are off, you wonder why, but know that I am here and feel safe.

The first thing you see is a single candle burning on the coffee table, with a note propped against it. You smile as you move closer and recognize you favorite scent. As you take the note you pause to breath deep of the aroma of the candle, and you smile.

As you read the note, you feel a quiver inside that matches your anticipation for the evening. You still marvel at how much control I can exert over your desires, even when I am not physically there, as now.

The instructions are clear, and you move to the bedroom casually dropping your clothes along the way, without looking to see if I am watching. You enter the bedroom and are briefly curious about my plans as you see the candles scattered about. You see our favorite blindfold and an ice chest, and the anticipation grows as you feel the heat in your groin. Smiling, as you feel me move up behind you close your eyes and wait.

You feel my arms as I hug you from behind and you lean back into me, and move against me in that way that you know I like. You then feel me reaching for something, and are tempted to peek, but you are enjoying this too much to spoil my plans. You smile as I lift your hair to tie the blindfold, and you relax knowing that you are going to enjoy whatever happens.

I gently guide you into the room,isn't she already in the room? maybe you need to state "further into the room" and a shudder goes through you as I caress your neck. As your corset loosens you move in a way that you know enhances your attractiveness to me, and start a new sentence hereyou can hear the slight tremor in my breath as I control my impulses. This brings a smile of anticipation to your face, and a warm glow to your body, because you know that I have something special planned.

You carefully step out of the corset when I pull it down, and eagerly wait my next move. You feel my hand caressing your calves and gently pulling down the straps of your heels. You frown as you feel me stand, but when I take your hand and place it on the wall, you realize that I am concerned for your balance and smile again.

When you again feel my hands at your ankles, you are secure as you lift your feet so that I can take off your shoes. Anticipating my next move, you drop your arm to your side, and take a deep breath. Then you feel my hands caressing your legs, slowly moving up toward your hips. When I reach your panties, you feel my thumb hooking into them and gently pulling them down. You smile as I help you out of them; this is what you have been anticipating.
You hear me reaching into the ice chest and wonder what I am doing. You strain your ears, but are unable to identify the sound you here next.

“Open your mouth.”

You obey with a whimper, and are surprised to feel a spoon in your mouth. You close your mouth without thinking, and are delighted to taste your favorite ice cream. You let it melt in your mouth and open it again, anticipating more. You feel me move closer to you, and as I gently bite your lip, you lean into me, kissing me deeply. As you start to lift your arms, you feel me pull back.

“Not yet,” you hear me whisper in a choked voice.

Then you feel my hands reach out, one cold from holding the ice cream, and caress you through your bra. You lean into the caresses and whimper as I pull your breasts out. You smile because this bra clasps in the front, and I do not have to stop while I unclasp it.

You feel me lean into you and begin nibbling at your neck, and you tilt your head to the side to give me access. You whimper as I step back and almost reach for me but hold back. You smile as I take your hand and guide you to the bed. You turn in anticipation, and sit ass (presumably you mean "as" hereI gently push you back. Lying down, you shift so that you are in the right position. I gently guide you toward the center of the bed, and you smile as I take your hand and slip a cuff onto your wrist. You eagerly spread your legs and bring your other arm up so that I can cuff it to the other side of the bed. As I move about restraining you, you undulate to let me know how excited you are.

After this, you can feel me settling onto the bed, and when you feel a spoon at your mouth, you open wide to accept more ice cream. You hear my breathing become more ragged, and then you feel me putting down the ice cream and reaching for something else.

The next thing that you feel is me scooping ice cream onto your breasts. You shriek just because of the cold, but smile in anticipation because you know what is coming next.

[Rhabbi]

It came to me that I am not expressing my appreciation for your work.
Generally I tend to view editors the way that Jubal Harshaw does , but you points are very thoughtful and considerate.
for waht you are doing here.

[Dragon's muse]

Thank you for your appreciation. And please never take my "nits" personally. i read the newspaper with a blue pencil in my hand. it is a compulsion for me.

[Rhabbi]

AARRGGGHH!!!

I know people like you, compulsive editors. Every writers bane.

LOL

[Dragon's muse]

It is NOT my fault. While i was in utero, my mother was frightened by a misplaced modifier.