Anxiety dreams about BDSM?

[Hime]

In the last couple of days, I've had two weird BDSM-related dreams. In one, my fiance and I were doing a scene that was pretty intense, but it wasn't fun, it was really scary -- I wasn't able to let go of the fear, and even afterwards I was afraid that some cuts I had could be infected or something, or that someone would notice the marks on my wrists. It was basically a nightmare, only about the kind of thing that would usually be a happy dream.

And then last night I had a dream where I was wearing my collar around my brother and he teased me about it, saying something like "Leather and chains... I'm not sure you're enough of a badass to pull that off." I think I was really embarassed and wasn't sure what to say.

Now I am a person who has always had anxiety dreams, but usually related to feelings of guilt -- I dream about eating meat (I'm a strict vegetarian) or cheating on my fiance or doing something else that makes me feel like a horrible person. But I am not aware of feeling guilty about BDSM. Sometimes I get a little defensive about it, but not *guilty.*

Think I've got a boatload of suppressed emotions to deal with?

[gloombunny]

Well, those don't sound like guilt dreams... if they're anxiety dreams, perhaps they're more about worrying that you'll get in deeper than you want, and about what other people will say about you if they know.

I don't really know anything about dreams, though. ^_^;;

[pixie_dust]

*nods* I agree with Natalie. It does sound as though you're having some anxiety related to what others may think about the lifestyle. Is there someone you've considered sharing this with recently or has there been someone asking questions?

[Eponine]

Hi Hime,

I too have had similar dreams and they have freaked me out. It's so hard to truly say what a dream may mean... sometimes they're literal, sometimes not. But I found a website to which I often refer when I am curious about my dreams. You can take it seriously or for fun or pick and choose what makes sense. Most of the time, I have found the interpretations to be accurate.

I picked out the keywords in your dreams' descriptions and looked them up and posted them below. Some of them, like "collar" or "chains" are obviously very BDSM specific, and the interpretations of such may or may not allow for consideration that someone may be a submissive (or Dom). So take it with a grain of salt. But I would be curious to know if any of it helps or makes sense.

This is the site address:

http://www.dreammoods.com/dreaminformation/

Here are the interpretations:

To dream that you feel fear, signifies that you achievements will not be as successful as you had anticipated. You are having anxieties in certain circumstances of your life.

To dream that you are scared, indicates that you are experiencing self-doubt and feelings of incompetence. You may be feeling a lack of control. Anger often masquerades as fear, so also consider issues about which you are angry about in your waking life.

To dream that you have a cut, suggests that you are being let down or being undermined. Alternatively, it refers to feminine sexuality and feminine attitudes toward sex.
To see a wound in your dream, is symbolic of grief, anger, and distress. You are looking to be healed.

To dream that you have an infection, indicates negative thoughts and ideas that you have internalized. Consider also where in the body is this infection for more significance.

To notice your wrist in your dream, represents your ability to bring about fun/excitement and productivity at the same time. You are able to grab the attention of others and get them involved.

To see collars in your dream, signifies confinement and restraint. You may be going through a frustrating work situation or a confining relationship.

To see chains in your dream, signifies your need to break free from a routine, old idea, or a relationship. If you are being chained, then some part of you is being forcefully held in check.

To see or wear leather in your dream, represents toughness and ruggedness. You are seeking protection from the elements. It also refers to your instinctual and animalistic nature and thus have sexual connotations

To dream that someone is mocking you or making fun on you, indicates that you are suffering from low self-esteem.

[Rhabbi]

Dreams often reflect subconcious desires or anxieties, but sometimes, to paraphrase Freud, a dream is just a dream.

In other words, don't try to make things harder for yourself. This lifestyle is complicated enough without addind worry about being found out. (Which is, by the way, my diagnosis.)

If you get caught in something, or found out, it is nobody's business but yours. I know you are a bit young to appreciate it, but it is really true, and most people will not even care.

[Hime]

Thanks, everybody.

I think you're all right -- it's hard for me to adjust to having things in my life that I can't share with some of my close friends and family members. I've always been a "good girl" (no drugs, not much drinking, no sneaking out, no wanton sex), so I'm not used to having secrets from my family.

[cariad]

My guess is that your dreams indicate a concern either that you are not good enough, or they are expressing a fear which you have of failing. If this is the case, perhaps it would help to try to address these fears with your Master whilst you are awake - just my penny's worth, and I am not an expert on such matters!

cariad