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  1. #1
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Nov 2016
    Location
    USA
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    Question New and need some advice

    I'm quite new here. I'm new to BDSM as well. I knew this was for me because I tried some things with my boyfriend, the thing is I'm very shy about things. It takes awhile for me to open up and I feel like this is going to be a problem in this kind of lifestyle. Know that you have to have build up a lot of trust to a Dom and I'm the kind of person where I hate rushing into things. I'm the kind of woman who needs patience and understanding. I tend to think about things and I'm afraid I somehow won't be accepted. Hate the way I worry so much. I shouldn't honestly worry what other people think of me so much. I'm always myself in the end, I'm just shy. My shyness is a problem and I'm trying to work on it by trying to come out of my shell. My last boyfriend did bring me out of my shell quite a bit which helped quite a bit and it made me realized that I was into BDSM. I still am shy around new people though. Anytime I'm with people I know however I'm different because I know them. Answer this if you'd like too. Maybe I'm simply worry over nothing.

  2. #2
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Location
    Twin Cities, MN
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    Re: New and need some advice

    Dont worry about others. just be honest both with others and with yourself. And be yourself. Then you will be accepted, and find what you are seeking The best to you

  3. #3
    just_ine
    Guest

    Re: New and need some advice

    I think your shyness and needing time to trust might just be a really good thing for you!

    Rushing into things is the nr 1 reason why new subbies fall for fake Doms and get hurt or disillusioned. If you are being rushed without proper dialogue, then Know that the Dom is playing you.

    So, take your time, breathe and learn and ask questions and meet people and even flirt, but keep your submission and trust for those who proves to be deserving.

  4. #4
    Virgin Newbie
    Join Date
    Nov 2016
    Location
    The world!
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    Re: New and need some advice

    I'm thinking along the same lines. Though, I think when you're getting into something like this original shyness could be what keeps you safe, makes it intimate, and maybe this can make you less shy. The works.

  5. #5
    Wears jolly boots of Doom
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    NYC
    Posts
    78
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    Re: New and need some advice

    i suggest a journal.. seriously.. after a heavy encounter, you could fill out an entry regarding your feelings about the goings on without feeling too shy because you are writing them and have the ability to erase and make it sound exactly as you want it to..

    also, in the journal, you can detail lavish fantasies of yours without feeling too shy.. i find that it is much easier to write about these things.. i find it is easier to open up when i am writing them down, even though i know that He is eventually going to read them.. and i do get super shy when He picks up the journal! but at least He knows what is going on..
    ?

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