New dom needing a little advice

[chaomancer]

Okay, I need some help. I have met a sub girl online, and we're having great fun together. She's somewhat more experienced in BDSM than I, but not very much so; we're kind of exploring together.

And it's wonderful when we're online together, but she would like me to give her orders to follow when we're apart. Restrictions on her dress and behaviour and such, I'm sure you know the kind of thing. I like the idea too, but for some reason my imagination won't co-operate and give me any interesting orders for her.

So I thought you fine folk might have some suggestions - I have considered asking her (and she has given me some suggestions), but that feels like I'm just repeating her own ideas to her. I'd rather have something more original, so it's more a surprise for her.

[Silke]

Oooohh, endless possibilities...*grins* Just a little brainstorming...

-picking underwear (or lack thereof *grins*) or a certain colour/type of clothing to wear
-control her masturbation/orgasms
-have her wear a piece of jewelry just for you...or ask her to write something on her body...
-how would she handle speech restriction? Being silent for a certain period of time or restricting/requiring the use of words you pick...
-have her practice slave positions while thinking about you...(God, I love that, lol)
-find out what's challenging for her and what's fun to do and then use it with mini tasks or daily routines for her.

From a sub's point of view - I've made the experience that anything that I'm deprived of for a certain time, becomes incredibly valuable and is a great treat when it's granted again...I get the impulse to kiss my Master's feet when he lets me have a cup of coffee, lol.

Just have fun with this and don't shy away from talking to her about it. You don't have to use what she said straight away or in the way she has in mind *grins*...but you'll learn what makes her tick...and what makes her hot.

Also, if you're looking to learn more...the Academy is a cool place to learn about assigning tasks.

Silke

[Dragon's muse]

Have her send you a daily "slut report" detailing how many times she masturbated and orgasmed and what her thoughts and fantasies were at teh time.
Set a certain number of times she has to orgasm on a daily basis.

[His_pita]

I loved when my Joe gave me tasks to do when we were an online couple. My favorite was the day he told me to orgasm 10 times in 10 different ways and after each one I had to write an email describing what I did and how it felt.

[Timberwolf]

"-have her practice slave positions while thinking about you...(God, I love that, lol)"

While I love this too, a more "public" thing you could do is some sort of "posture training". Have her cross her legs all ladylike, arch that back a bit, sit up straight, and make her hold that for a few minutes. While she thinks of you.

Strike a pose, as it were.

Much like assigned clothing, it's really rather subtle, and functional in a variety of locations, which is part of what I like about it.

I must say I also like the idea of having her write out what she was thinking about when she touches herself a lot. Assuming you let her touch herself . Talk about fun reading in the evening.

[Ozme52]

Oooohh, endless possibilities...*grins* Just a little brainstorming...

-picking underwear (or lack thereof *grins*) or a certain colour/type of clothing to wear Excellent. I do this all the time and there are endless variations.
-control her masturbation/orgasms Yep, both ways. No masterbation at all. Masterbation up to but not including orgasm. And my personal favorite... Masterbation to full orgasm. You set the times and/or placeses.
-have her wear a piece of jewelry just for you...or ask her to write something on her body... Yep, Great as a constant reminder.
-how would she handle speech restriction? Being silent for a certain period of time or restricting/requiring the use of words you pick... Interesting.....
-have her practice slave positions while thinking about you...(God, I love that, lol) All the time baby!
-find out what's challenging for her and what's fun to do and then use it with mini tasks or daily routines for her. Find out her fantasies and incorporate those into these minim tasks.

In addition, posture control such as no crossing of the legs, always sit with palms up and open, only bending from the waist to pick up objects (works well with Silke's first suggestion) and my personal favorite... no shutting the mouth. Must remember to appear open and available for use.


And make her keep a journal to send you daily.
Make her keep track of any demerits you assign and the reasons why you assigned them.

This is so much fun.

[Silke]

*grins* I love this thread!!

[Tojo]

I declare this thead out of bounds to all subs....

Hey I'd be asking myself 'why won't my imagination cooperate?'

To me half the fun is coming up with my own ideas. Things she won't read about on a forum or site- that's the challenge, apart from the 'who's the boss' side of things.

Keeping a sub guessing is half the battle, sure there's rooom for suggestions- as long you ask for them.

On the occasion I answer questions from Doms, I usually say that it's got to come from within. You have to have confidence in yourself- preferably supreme unshakeable confidence.

That's my not so humble opinion.
(BTW- sorry to disappoint anyone looking for what evil thoughts are in my head...)

Tojo

[Timberwolf]

"I declare this thead out of bounds to all subs...."

While we cut out people with good ideas, what about switches?

[fantassy]

In addition, posture control such as no crossing of the legs, always sit with palms up and open, only bending from the waist to pick up objects (works well with Silke's first suggestion) and my personal favorite... no shutting the mouth. Must remember to appear open and available for use.
This is so much fun.

Works for me. Some other suggestions: have her exercise while wearing ben wa balls, do housework while naked & clamped and wearing a vibe, have her go grocery shopping braless and wearing a butt plug

fantassy

[chaomancer]

Thank you all for your advice and ideas. Very helpful, and interesting reading to boot! Please, keep them coming if you have any more comments or suggestions.

And Tojo, I am thinking about those points - but I still want/need some ideas to get me started. Thank you also for your advice.