I hope that this is the right way and place..

[SEVERUSMAX]

....to perform my most recent writing assignment. First of all, my apologies regarding my absence. Had some personal shit going on and all, not that it's much of an excuse, but I have had a serious case of writer's block for about a week now. Hoping it ends soon.

So, first of all. The question that I am supposed to answer for my assignment. How do I formulate my characters?

Well, generally, the characters arise out of hypothetical scenarios or fantasies that occur to me for any number of reasons. I often get inspiration for stories from "Murphy's Law" types of ideas or themes. The people that are the characters in this are the necessary ones from the theoretical possibility.

Other characters are real-life people that I modify a bit here or there, after fantasizing about them now and then. I develop these characters by a process of trial and error, seeing what works and doesn't. Sometimes, I write a story, look at it again, and decide to drastically change a character. And I try to listen to the characters, not force them to do things all of the time that seem out of character for them. If they do something odd for them, I try to give a motive or reason for that aberration.

How does that sound? My brain is running on fumes right now, so I hope that I wasn't rambling too much.

[Ruby]

Welcome, back.

A new thread for this assignment is fine. The question is asked to help both you and others understand the many different ways we each go about crafting our stories. You've provided excellent food for thought.

Do you like to outline your stories before you begin? Why or why not?

Do you find that your characters run away with your story(ies) and take it in places you didn't imagine? Why or why not?

Do you use character outlines/synopsis/bios? Why or why not?

What tools and techniques have you found that help you best? If yes, please feel free to share them with the rest of the class, by telling us about them and showing us where we can find them.

Answering these questions is your next assignment - along with getting started on the assigned readings.

Please answer the questions in this thread.

Take your time and work on what you need to in your life first.

All the best,

Ruby

PS

I'll ask Rabbit to move this thread into the Writer's Area - Level 3.

[SEVERUSMAX]

Welcome, back.

A new thread for this assignment is fine. The question is asked to help both you and others understand the many different ways we each go about crafting our stories. You've provided excellent food for thought.

Do you like to outline your stories before you begin? Why or why not?

Do you find that your characters run away with your story(ies) and take it in places you didn't imagine? Why or why not?

Do you use character outlines/synopsis/bios? Why or why not?

What tools and techniques have you found that help you best? If yes, please feel free to share them with the rest of the class, by telling us about them and showing us where we can find them.

Answering these questions is your next assignment - along with getting started on the assigned readings.

Please answer the questions in this thread.

Take your time and work on what you need to in your life first.

All the best,

Ruby

PS

I'll ask Rabbit to move this thread into the Writer's Area - Level 3.

Thanks for making this assignment an interesting challenge. I'll answer those questions as the answers come to mind.

I usually have a broad, vague mental outline for my story ideas when I first come up with them. It's rarely written down, though it is sometimes. It's just a general concept, with the details covered as I write the actual story. I find that I don't like to restrict myself or my characters too much by trying to force a conclusion or too many things that don't fit my inspiration at the time that I write. Which leads to the next question...

I have certainly had characters go off in directions that I didn't plan, especially once I stopped fighting them to force them to comply with any skeletal, tentative plans that don't seem to fit them. For instance, I had a story that initially was going to go faster with incest, but the father in the story wanted to put up more of a fight than I intended at first. He wanted to try to avoid knocking up his daughter, so she could go to college. It was the daughter that wanted his baby, since she was in love with him. So, rather than fight them, I let the dad try to hold off while he could. Despite his lecherous ways, he was not ready for an incest love child just yet.

I hope that helps explain that better.

Again, with characters, the basic outline/bio is not set in stone for me until I have written the story itself. Even then, there are occasional changes. I might know that Ted is a cop with a dominant persona and his mother Vanessa is a natural sub who would naturally serve him given the chance, but I don't work try to write that out until I actually write the story. Much of it is minimal planning and maximum improvisation, if that makes any sense to you.

My general technique is to simply go with the natural flow, after mentally piecing together the basic plot. Much of the beginning is known to me from the outset, but the exact body and conclusion are frequently mysteries at first. I also make a point of getting input and trying to do at least some research before writing a story that requires such things. My albino story, still in progress, is such a case. A close friend of mine gave me some good advice, for which I am grateful to her.

Oh, and I look forward to the reading assignments.

[Ruby]

Well done.

Now we know more about how you go about creating characters and creating your stories, too.

About how many stories do you have in progress at any particular time?

Do you prefer to write short stories or longer ones?

Do you want to take some of the stories you are already writing and use them for your assignments or do you prefer to have writing assignments that stand apart from what you are already writing?

What is your preferred genre of storytelling?

The reading assignments for everyone at Level 3 are here:
http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6313

You can get started on those at any time.

Does anyone have any questions for SEVERUSMAX?

[Ruby]

Hi SEVERUSMAX,

Your next assignment is another photo story.

Your task is to pick one person from this picture, and create a short story from that character's point of view.

This story it to be told in the "First Person Perspective".
To read more about this perspective, check out the first reading assignment.

Here is your photo:



Please start a new thread - in the Level Three area - for this assignment as we will be practicing different view points for the same photo.

Have fun!

Ruby

[SEVERUSMAX]

Well done.

Now we know more about how you go about creating characters and creating your stories, too.

About how many stories do you have in progress at any particular time?

Do you prefer to write short stories or longer ones?

Do you want to take some of the stories you are already writing and use them for your assignments or do you prefer to have writing assignments that stand apart from what you are already writing?

What is your preferred genre of storytelling?

The reading assignments for everyone at Level 3 are here:
http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6313

You can get started on those at any time.

Does anyone have any questions for SEVERUSMAX?

To answer one question, it is anything from 1 or 2 at some point to double digits. It all depends on inspiration or lack of thereof. Hope that clarifies it.

Both short and long. My stroke stories tend to be shorter, but even they have sequels most of the time. Even if takes a while for me to write said sequels. Others require more plot and sex is one theme among many. If I'm in a smut-oriented mood, that's one thing. Sometimes, however, I want something that is broader in terms of themes, such as sci-fi.

Sci-fi, BDSM, Incest, Group, Historical, and Bisexual stories are among my favorites. I usually don't write cheating stories, but there are exceptions. I never write cuckold. Most of my BDSM is male dom, with an occasional flirtation with femdom. I sometimes write horror as well.

[SEVERUSMAX]

Will do. Sounds interesting, that photo. Especially first person. Not sure whose viewpoint I'd use at this point.

[Ruby]

Thanks for your well thought out answers. Getting to know you and your favorite genres to tackle helps us refine your assignments as we go along.

I'm looking forward to discovering which person you end up choosing for this challenge.

[SEVERUSMAX]

Stacey's Daydreams- Chapter 2

It was Stacey’s most vivid daydream yet. Leo’s cock was right there. She felt it. She tasted it. It was incredibly hard and slick, with her own juices on it, as she sucked it clean. She found herself finishing the climax with a clear vibrator, and she came in reality as well as her dream.

She naturally found it a disappointment when she realized that her break was a minute over and she had to make sure that her boss didn’t catch her slacking off. Her sweaty skin and the smell of her cunt were bad enough clues as to her choice of recreation. That might be acceptable to Lindsay, provided that it didn’t interfere with work. Stacey knew that her boss had flirted with her a lot in the past few weeks, although she did it subtly enough and Stacey never complained about it (as it was flattering to her vanity). While Stacey preferred men for certain, she didn’t mind an occasional bi-curious thought.

“Stacey, are you ill?” Cheryl asked her.

Cheryl was another annoying co-worker, but she at least meant well. She just had it easier with her husband, and made a point of giving Stacey unsolicited advice on her marriage. Of course, she was also a Bible-thumper and complained about her husband’s resistance to her conversion efforts, so Stacey didn’t take her counsel too seriously. Any woman who couldn’t see her good fortune in marrying someone like Don, without trying to change him, clearly had problems. Sure, he wasn’t perfect, but his dislike of organized religion was hardly something that would bother Stacey. Apparently, however, fundamentalists had their own take on such things.

“I’m fine, Cheryl. I just lost track of time and need to catch up on my work,” Stacey responded. She was scarcely in the mood for another sermon.

Stacey’s body went back to work, but her mind quickly returned to her lust for Leo. She started thinking about fucking him at work, in his car, in her car, and at his house. She wanted him to fuck her on his bed and then pound Suzanne afterward, with her unaware that his cock had just been washed after screwing another woman. Of course, she doubted that Leo and Suzanne even had sex very much anymore, given how much of a chore the woman made it seem to do it once in a while.

Thoughts of sex with Leo on her own bed also excited Stacey. The idea that Walter, in his drunken state, might not even notice that she had gotten on all fours for another man and climaxed in their bedroom, was a fantasy that gave her a kind of vindictive thrill. Part of her even craved the prospect of carrying Leo’s baby, which Walter would have to know couldn’t be his, because he never slept with her these days. She longed to go to work and display her pregnant belly to Suzanne, without even pretending that Leo’s seed was not responsible for her condition.

She was still not confident enough to act on her impulses, however. She didn’t want to destroy any chance that Walter might become more open-minded and she could even have an open marriage. She still loved Walter, after all. Despite his neglect of her, despite his prudery, despite her increasing frustration, and despite his alcoholism, she loved her husband. She had a hard time with the actual deed of infidelity. Breaking her wedding vows was a step she evaded so far. She tried to be content with daydreams, at least for now.

A variety of scenarios whereby Stacey could act on them definitely occurred to her frequently, but she continued to reject them in the end. Her ethics or conscience, most likely, kept her from sleeping around behind her husband’s back, no matter how much the idea appealed to her in hornier moments.

When she got fed up, she would probably just leave the man, but she didn’t want to do even that. She wanted Walter to become sober first. Hopefully, once he got free of liquor, she could work on getting wilder in their sex life. That, of course, required them to actually have a sex life again. At the moment, she considered it a slim chance, but she was willing to hold out longer for it.

“Well, I’m glad about that, Stacey. So, do you and Walter want to go to church next Sunday? My church has a great couples program. We have a marriage seminar coming up too,” the blonde tried to sell her local congregation again.

“I’ll let you know if we decide to attend. How does that sound?” Stacey avoided the issue, wanting to let her co-worker down easy.

The last thing that she wanted at the moment was to attend a Pentecostal church. What she had heard was more than enough to make her skin crawl. “Speaking in tongues”, “prophecy”, and “healing” were not her idea of an exciting weekend. Stacey would much rather use her Sundays trying to seduce Walter, even if her efforts were in vain. There was some fun even in the effort and the experience of acting in a sexy manner.

Stacey ignored Cheryl for the rest of the day, and vice versa. She even ignored Suzanne’s caustic remarks about how she dressed. Stacey loved to dress in a sexy way, especially of late. It wasn’t just to get attention at work. She also hoped that Walter would take a hint. His attitude lately seemed to be that she was no longer sexy, just because she was a mother. She wished that he would think of her as a “MILF”.

Such thoughts continued to bother Stacey that evening, as she headed home from work. She had more thoughts, including of a threesome with Walter and Lindsay. Part of her really wanted Walter to ask for something like that, if only so that she would know that he was still interested in sex. The idea that he might view her as a participant in an orgy made her wet. It was too bad that she considered it highly implausible.

Walter didn’t seem to remember that she existed half of the time, let alone in an erotic sense. She also felt that it would be nice to experiment with such things. She didn’t mind Walter having other women, as long as she knew about them and could have a lover of her own. Unfortunately, his preferred love affair was with alcohol, a far more jealous mistress than any woman could be.

Little did Stacey know that Walter was about to hit rock bottom that night. When she pulled into the driveway, she saw him drinking in front of the house. He had evidently been driving under the influence. Thoughts of sex went out of her head for the moment. She was furious!

“Walter, will you please sober up long enough to get inside the house? By the way, what are you doing home so early?” she demanded, becoming more assertive than usual (she generally took on a more compliant role with people).

“Sorry, Stacey. It was a half-day today. You know how teaching is, faculty senate and all,” he pointed out.

“Yes, I know that you’re throwing away what little you make on booze! I have no problem with you teaching, Walter, but that’s only when you’re doing good. That’s when it’s worth the sacrifice and I find it worth it to be the primary breadwinner. As it is, you’re a bad example and you’re going to lose that job. Whatever happened to your passion for teaching? Oh, and at this rate, you’re not going to be able to your summer job for Dad, either,” Stacey snapped at him.

“What, do you think I’m some kind of drunk?” he inquired angrily.

“Yes, as a matter of fact. Lately, in fact, you’re a useless one. You haven’t even fucked me in weeks,” she observed.

“I thought you would be too busy for sex, what with work and motherhood. If you really wanted it, you should have said something. I have been too busy lately. I would have gotten more intimate soon, though,” he excused himself.

“Sure, you would. Besides, it’s not fun if I have to make all of the moves. I would like you to want it and take some initiative now and then, honey,” she complained.

This led to a nasty fight that lasted for hours. By the time it was done, Stacey was glad that it was a Friday. She would need to sleep in the next morning. She was that tired. Naturally, her dreams were of a sex life that she no longer enjoyed.

[Ruby]

Hi Severusmax,

While this is a fine story, it doesn't meet the requirements of the assignment. You've done a great job in writing from Stacey's point of view, however, it's not in first person perspective. We'll let this stand as what would have been the next assignment - a POV story done in third person and from the female perspective.

Congratulations on completing an assignment you didn't even know you had!

Let's look at what you've done right, then try again.

1. Pacing - this story flows very nicely from one scene to the next.

2. Spelling, grammar - well done.

There are some interesting style choices that you've made which alert the reader to her reactions and emotions.

3. Point of view / Perspective

Stacey's point of view is presented - not first person. She thinks like a man. The words she uses and phrases are the give away here.

4. Story layout - excellent.

5. Consistency - of actions

This needs a bit of work. A re-read might help you catch a few things such as - was Stacey masturbating to a fantasy as in a day dream or was she dreaming?

What's next?

Instead of refreshing this story, let's call it a finished version of what would have been your next assignment.

Please take a look at the required reading material for this level here:
http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6313

Using the character of Stacey, take the photo and turn it into her fantasy. Use first person perspective and help your readers masturbate along with her.

Spend some time on this scene, we don't need too much of the before or after story. You can even start the scene with her describing what she's doing and finishing with the story shortly after Cheryl's question and Stacey getting back to work. Try to use as much of the "active" voice as you can.

If you have any questions, PM me or post them here.

Have fun. I'm looking forward to seeing what you come up with,

Ruby

[SEVERUSMAX]

Hmmm...thought I was more active, but oh, well. I can't believe I forgot that it was supposed to be first person. One of those embarrassing moments of overlooking something when you ought to know better. Interesting comment regarding actions and perspective. I suppose that her apparent lack of awareness of her surroundings created the wrong effect a little on the latter issue.

Will re-do.

[SEVERUSMAX]

I'm curious as to how Stacey thinks like a man, however. Does that mean that she just sounds like an unusual woman in terms of sexual attitudes or that she is strange in how she expresses those attitudes? Just wondering.

[Ruby]

I'm curious as to how Stacey thinks like a man, however. Does that mean that she just sounds like an unusual woman in terms of sexual attitudes or that she is strange in how she expresses those attitudes? Just wondering.

Though this is told from her POV - it's very "male" in the way descriptions are given and used. Examples include:

"smell of her cunt"

"Her ethics or conscience, most likely, kept her from sleeping around behind her husband’s back, no matter how much the idea appealed to her in hornier moments."

"She longed to go to work and display her pregnant belly to Suzanne, without even pretending that Leo’s seed was not responsible for her condition."

"She wished that he would think of her as a “MILF”.

The "c" word as in "cunt" is still considered taboo by most females. MILF was a marketing campaign geared towards men. Her thoughts are blunt and often crudely described.

I'd say the narrator of this story is a man with about 99% certainty.

Now, if you're leading lady is type A, blunt, uninhibitied and gets turned on by thinking like a male, fine.

As far as her sexual attitudes, she's liberated. Go her.

It will be interesting to discover how "her character" expresses herself when telling her story versus how the current narrator describes what's going on in her mind.

Good luck and have fun!

[SEVERUSMAX]

Thank you for explaining that. It is harder to get inside a woman's mind and drop the male assumptions and mental habits. It is helpful to clarify. This was certainly a challenge. Your comments reminded me of why I opted for the harder task of being the woman. It's more of a stretch for me.

Here is my second attempt.

Stacey's Daydreams- Chapter 3

I woke up horny again on Sunday morning. This was due to the fact that I lost my temper with Walter and never got around to actually taking care of my needs. We had a long fight and ate a quick supper without saying anything to each other all night long. He bristled at my claim that he was a “useless” drunk. I spoke a little too harshly, but the essence of my statement was still very accurate. We finished our routines and went to sleep as soon as possible.

We spent some time with his parents the next day, and that meant we had to be nice to each other all day long. He even managed to avoid drinking, chiefly because he sensed it might cause a scene in front of his family. Walter never drank in front of his mother, since she didn’t approve of drunkenness.

Still thinking of my daydream from that Friday afternoon, I rashly decided to act on it, albeit not with Leo. Walter lay there, still half-asleep, and he was my husband! I never denied him (not that I had much of a chance, even if I wished it). Aside from a few weak moments, I had not even attempted to actually cheat on him. Even those rare attempts resulted in nothing, for reasons that only Leo knew for certain.

I removed my clear vibrator from the nightstand, dropped my panties, and started to play with myself in front of him. He must have been less aware of his surroundings than I previously thought, since he didn’t react at all. It was time to get his attention.

I had nothing to lose by now. If he chose to divorce me because of this, then I would simply move on with my life. I would consider it good riddance to be free of a man who would leave because his wife wanted more sex. If he said, “No,” I would accept it, but would probably retaliate by destroying his liquor collection. That would take some time to replace on a teacher’s salary! I wouldn’t rape him, but nothing short of an outright refusal would stop me.

I pulled down his wrinkled pants (he had once again fallen asleep without changing) and slid his blue boxers down to his ankles. Getting on my belly, I ran my vibrator over my clit repeatedly. As I used my favorite sex toy, I stroked Walter’s cock and balls with my right hand. He suddenly sat up and groaned, but didn’t fight me.

I began sucking Walter’s dick, starting at the head and putting more inside my mouth with each thrust. My husband now gave me his complete attention, which consisted of him glaring at me for a bit and then moving his cock away from my lips. At first, I thought that he would cuss me out and tell me to leave him alone. Instead, he sat on the side of the bed and took off his shorts. He unbuttoned his shirt and lifted his T-shirt off his head next, before standing up and grinning at me.

“Maybe I have missed a few things while drinking so much! When did you become so horny?” he laughed.

“I have been horny, Walter! If you noticed me as something other than a mom now and then, you’d realize that! I didn’t stop having needs when I gave birth! I’m your wife, not just the mother of your child! I’m a twenty-five year old woman with a healthy sex drive. Now, are you going to do something with me, or do I have to use BOB?” I demanded.

“BOB? Who’s Bob?” he wondered, clearly perplexed.

“Battery-Operated Boyfriend, honey! It’s a female thing!” I explained.

“Okay, but I want you on your knees! Take that damn toy and fuck yourself with it, while you suck me!” Walter stunned me by showing aggression that I didn’t even remotely anticipate.

“That was the idea when I woke you, Walter. I’m glad that we’re on the same page for once!” I agreed, before doing as he asked me.

I resumed sucking his dick, enjoying myself as much as I expected to enjoy it with Leo. The only difference was that this was reality, not fantasy. Furthermore, it was with my husband, the one man whom I had thought would never want something like this. He might have objected to anal, but he seemed to enjoy a good blowjob as much as the next man. This was more than a pleasant surprise; it was the sort of shock needed to revive our sex life.

“Oh, God, Stacey, that’s great! I never realized that you wanted to do this with me!” my husband cried out, as I continued sucking his stiff cock.

My hands engaged themselves in driving that vibrator inside myself in the meantime, getting me wetter by each second. I made sure that I used my mouth only to please his dick and balls, and the challenge aroused me further. My husband reacted to my lips and tongue by grunting and groaning, as if he wanted more. Well, in fact, I supposed that he did.

I certainly gave him more. I licked and sucked his balls, ran my tongue across his taint, and even began rimming his ass. I should have explained that Walter’s ass is almost impossibly clean. I don’t know why or how he, almost alone among his sex, has kept his butt-crack so clean. Well, I guessed that he had one advantage: he was almost totally hairless. I had never seen so little hair on a grown man’s body as I had with my husband. As a result, I’ve wanted to taste his ass for a while now. I got lucky that morning, since Walter didn’t try to stop me. He seemed to like my efforts.

Walter also loved it when I moved my mouth back to his cock and began deep- throating him. I would be lying if I said that I had no gag reflex. My ex-boyfriends could tell you that much. However, even as rusty as I was with giving head, I really relaxed at the moment and indulged my lust for my husband’s dick. I wanted more than just to please Walter. I wanted him to absolutely trust his instincts and become the sort of aggressive, albeit loving, partner he seemed ready to be now.

“Stacey, babe, I’m about to cum!” Walter moaned, as he thickened in my throat.

I wasn’t far behind him, but I wanted both of us to cum during sex, so I stopped short of sucking him to a release. When he non-verbally objected, I demonstrated my good intentions by quitting my masturbation too. I made a split second decision to get on all fours in front of him. He might well explode soon, but I hoped to get another new experience in first.

It wasn’t difficult for Walter to take the hint. He didn’t become a high-school teacher by virtue of stupidity. My husband had not attacked me so enthusiastically in years, but he certainly took me on the bedroom floor that time. The first “doggie-style” sex in the history of our marriage was very short-lived, but equally sweet. He wasn’t as gentle as usual, but I could tell that he loved me. For one thing, he had continued to speak to me with affection (of course, that was one of Walter’s virtues).

If either of us worried that I might not cum before he did, the fears were unjustified. My climax was rapid, especially after I adjusted to my new position and I felt sexy once more. The knowledge that my efforts at Sunday seduction had finally succeeded helped my libido as well as my vanity. I gasped and thrust back at him, as he pushed inside my tightening pussy with gusto. My body tensed up and I felt my pleasure grab my attention for the brief moment that it continued.

My orgasm made Walter’s inevitable, since he had held out partly from consideration of my needs. My involuntary tension further prompted his release, so my husband emptied himself at last inside me. It was the first time in far too long, and it was also the first time in any position other than “missionary”.

He withdrew and embraced me as I stood. My legs were wobbly, so it was just as well that I could lean on his body. My husband gave me the first French kiss I had received from him in months (probably the last one had been he learned that I was pregnant the previous year). It was much more tender and romantic than the sex, but I resented neither. After all, I had wanted a little kinky sex for a while, so having that in addition to any sexual attention at all was a bonus.

“I’m not used to rough sex, baby. I hope that I didn’t go too far and hurt you. I just felt this odd urge and acted on it. I wanted to be aggressive and forceful, for lack of better words,” Walter told me, as I held onto him.

“That was the best sex I’ve had since we had the baby, dear. I have no complaints. I’m just glad that you noticed me that way again. It has felt like eternity since that happened. A woman wants you to desire her, as well as love her. Both are needs. Wouldn’t you feel hurt if I stop viewing you as sexy? That’s how it felt to me for the past few months. Anyway, that’s the past. I love you and I am happy that you want me again. Please don’t change that anymore. You are such a great lover when you choose to be, Walter Pryce,” I encouraged him, since I wanted this “animal” side to show up again in the future.

“Thank you for waking me up, Stacey. I love you and want to be a fine husband. You’re certainly an excellent wife, and I apologize for taking that for granted the past few months. I have to warn you, however, that this other side of me wants to have more power in this relationship at times. I have no other way of explaining it. I just know that it has been buried and is now loose. There is no going back, lover,” my husband announced, but he smiled as he did so.

He meant what he said in more in than one way, and he sensed that I would receive it well. He was right. There was considerably more to this story, but this was the turning point for us. This was the day that everything began to change for the better in our marriage. Whatever we explored sexually in the future, we would so as a couple, as a team. We were on the same side now.

It wasn’t just the sex issue that we started to resolve, either. The drinking had to go, and both of us knew it. Otherwise, the chances of sliding back into the previous rut were all too great. Walter had finally grasped how much I disliked his drinking, and he also now realized why I had reason to feel that way. I wasn’t being a teetotaler or a killjoy. I just knew that he had an addiction and needed to correct it for the sake of our marriage and family.

It wasn’t easy for either of us, but we found something that morning that reminded us that we had every motive to make an effort. As shallow as it might seem, great sex can have a way of shaking things up at times and encouraging a change. If that wasn’t enough, we had a child to think about it as well. Most of all, we still loved each other. We just forgot how much we mattered to each other. We made a pact right then, in the naked aftermath of our sexual release, not to do so again.

[Ruby]

Hi Severusmax,

Thanks for posting this. I'll be spending some quiet quality time with this new version later in the week.

Ruby

[Ruby]

Severusmax,

That was very well done. Congratulations on a delightful tale of seduction.

Checking out the big things – pacing, spelling, grammar, point of view/perspective, story layout and consistency of actions – you did a wonderful job with this assignment.

Do I believe it was written by a woman? Hmmmmmm….. Stacy thinks and speaks like a man when she’s telling a story. She’s got quite a mouth on her for a 25 year-old. However, when she’s speaking in dialog, arg, blah, blah, blah, too much information and yeah, I can see her just saying those things and not knowing when to be quiet.

We’ll have to let some of our other ladies in class give you their opinion.

Meanwhile, how’s the reading going?
Ready for your next writing assignment?

It’s a dialog practice.

Take Stacy and her husband, the topic is their fantasies.
Each must confess one fantasy and the other must react.
The goal is to make the dialog flow, make it believable and to take this couple to the next step in their relationship. Also, the fantasy must be in line with the characters as they are currently defined. Use "third person omniscient" to help us get inside both of their heads.

Good luck, you can do it!

Ruby

[SEVERUSMAX]

Thanks. I am about to post the story, which I finally finished this weekend (due to a lot of distractions).

[SEVERUSMAX]

Stacey and Walter sat down to lunch that afternoon with a sense of satisfaction over their romp earlier that day. She had sucked his cock, used a vibrator on herself, and even rimmed his ass. He had fucked her doggie-style in a rough manner, thus acting on one of his repressed desires. Her seduction efforts worked better than usual, so their sexual rut had ended abruptly. However, there was now the question of what they should do next to keep things exciting. Neither of them wished to return to the boring, less frequent sex that had occurred recently.

“Walter, dear, now that we’re intimate again, can we discuss our fantasies? Obviously, both of us have some that we haven’t seriously talked about it, or at least haven’t listened to each about,” Stacey suggested with a wink, deliberately trying to act casual about wearing her wedding ring again.

“I guess that there would be no harm. We’re not in public, after all. Alright, let’s hear one of yours first. We can take turns talking about our desires,” Walter chuckled, realizing that his wife had a delightfully nasty side.

By his standards, she was the ideal woman, he was already married to her, and yet he had nearly lost her to his own bad habits. He also feared that she might have had an affair, since she felt neglected recently. If so, he would have to be a little unpleasant, but he hoped that the marriage would survive his anger. He was simply too jealous to share Stacey. The very idea of her fucking another man started to give him feelings of rage. Well, it would better not to worry about that unless it happened.

“Okay, to be honest, I’ve had fantasies about swinging. I don’t know how you feel about that, though you have said in the past that you were against it,” Stacey informed him, more than a little nervous about her admission.

Part of her feared that he would refuse, the other that he would agree to it. She wasn’t completely sure that she really wanted to be a swinger. She might get too jealous to handle the sight of Walter with another woman, which in fairness would preclude her from doing it with another man. She wasn’t about to be mean to him like that.

To be honest with herself, she had to admit that her biggest reason for jealousy would be a fear of some other girl interesting him more than her. She had already lost his attention to the bottle, but losing him to another woman would be a serious heartache too. What if he wanted to divorce her and marry some other lady? It was true that common sense would suggest that a man probably wouldn’t leave a wife who would share him, but paranoia reigned at times.

“Well, that’s one that I can’t honestly support. I am just too jealous to go along with it. I won’t deny that I have fantasies about other women, which I suppose covers my turn, but I can’t get over the rage I feel at the very idea of you in another man’s arms. I imagine that I would feel something similar about you with another woman, if I actually saw it.

“The fantasy of you with a woman is nice, but the reality of it would make me angry, I suspect. Well, I would be angry and worried that you would prefer women. I would always fear that with another man too. I would wonder if he was better in the sack than me,” Walter objected, as much as part of him wished that it wasn’t true. Fucking another woman would be fun, but the price would be too high in his mind.

“I understand, honey. In fact, I’m somewhat relieved that you vetoed my fantasy. As much fun as the idea might be, the situation itself would probably make me jealous too. Even if it didn’t, I’d rather know upfront if you weren’t cool with it. This is part of why I brought up the subject. I want to know for sure how you feel about things now, not later, when our effort to rejuvenate our sex lives turns bitter on us, because you get jealous. I suppose that whatever we do, we‘ll just have to keep it entirely within the marriage,” she smiled, no longer having to think about that issue.

She liked having her husband make decisions like that, even if they negated fantasies of hers. The very fact of him being in control like that was another fantasy of hers, after all. Maybe she would mention her BDSM fantasies next. He had hinted at similar desires earlier, hadn’t he?

“Okay, since you mentioned a fantasy or two that you dismissed yourself, I will take my turn. I want you to be more, well, …dominant. I want you to take charge more often. I don’t just mean sexually. I would like to follow your lead. As I said earlier, I loved the fact that you had your way with me on the bedroom floor this morning. It excited me in a way that I hadn’t completely accepted before. While I enjoy making love to you, which I don’t want to totally stop, some rough sex like that is really great too,” Stacey declared, albeit slightly embarrassed by her own statement.

“I would actually like that too, I must admit. So far, at least, we are compatible. I would like to take it further, in fact. I have fantasies about spanking you, tying you up, and collaring you, babe,” Walter announced, still a bit shocked at admitting something that he had pretended in the past to deem “perverse”.

“I wouldn’t object to those things, honey. In fact, I have thought about them too. To be honest, I’ve actually thought about you attaching a leash to my collar and fucking me while holding onto it. I would even like it if you led me around by the leash or made me sit at your feet. I have fantasies of being your ‘pet’ sometimes. Oh, I don’t mean that I want you to treat me like an animal, just that I would be your sex slave and at your beck and call. Well, of course, that wouldn’t apply to when we have company, but it could work when we have privacy,” Stacey revealed, blushing a little.

“Very well, I could go for all of that, especially if it meant that neither of us would refuse to have sex in the future. I’ll quit denying you and you’ll never start it. In fact, I owe you plenty of sex, retroactively, so I had better get busy with it,” Walter concurred with her idea.

“Thank you, Master. Does that title work for you, or would something else be better? Maybe ‘sir’ instead?” she responded to her husband’s decision.

“I like ‘sir’, since outsiders might not get the drift. It will be a nice secret to keep from them. I’ll call you ‘woman’, and then you will know that I am asserting my authority. Perhaps we should use a safe word for this activity,” he proposed.

“Yes, sir! How about simply saying, ‘danger’? That would be unmistakable and easy to remember?” Stacey offered.

“Very well. We’ll use ‘danger’ as your safe word. Now, what other fantasies have you had?” he inquired.

“Well, aside from the ones that involve other people, I think about anal sex a lot. I would like to have a man fuck me in the ass, preferably in a rough way, though with lube. I know that you see it as ‘dirty’, but would you reconsider trying it, for me?” she pleaded with him.

“Well, I could try toys,” he observed.

“Toys would be a nice start, but would you consider fucking me there? If you were still too revolted after trying it once or twice, I promise never to bring it up again. Hell, you could even use a condom!” Stacey urged him.

“A condom, eh? Well, how about we try the toys first and get me used to it. I must admit that I wouldn’t mind some anal play these days, but I’m still a bit squeamish about sticking my dick in that hole. I’ll even lick it, if it’s washed enough. Then we could try anal, albeit with a condom. Little steps, if you want to call them that,” Walter modified her idea.

“Fair enough, lover. All I know is that I would love for you to take every one of my holes and become owner of my entire body in every sense. It’s a fantasy for me, that you will use me as you wish and make me available for your every whim. So, Walter, do you have any more fantasies yourself?” she wondered.

“Yes, in fact, I do. I would like to kiss you after we have had oral sex with each other. I want to rim you, eat pussy, have you suck my cock, and then swap spit immediately afterward. I think that the term, at least for a blowjob, is a ‘snowball’. I wouldn’t like to taste another man’s cum, as we already agreed not to swing and I am not even slightly bi. However, my own cum is not as prone to give me a disease and doesn’t sound so disgusting.

“By the way, who were these other people that you thought about sexually? I just have to know. I won’t judge you, as long as you promise me that you didn’t actually fuck them,” Walter demanded.

“First of all, I like your fantasy and will have no problem doing it. It sounds sexy and even intimate, if that makes sense to you. I will ‘snowball’ you anytime you wish.

“As to the other, well, it’s kind of embarrassing, baby. However, I’ll tell you, if you really want to know. Very well: one of them was Leo, Suzanne’s husband. He just seemed very manly and very hot. He seemed to want more sex than she offered him in their marriage, too. I could empathize, being in the same boat myself, honey. The other one was Lindsay, my boss. She’s attractive and flirtatious enough that I certainly noticed myself being bi-curious. I promise to only look and not touch, though, dear. I’ve never acted on either crush. I swear it, Walter,” Stacey confessed, despite some sense of shame at her now-abandoned ideas of cheating on her husband.

“It’s a damn good thing that you didn’t, baby. I guess that I forgot to tell you about Leo, but it never occurred to me that it might be an issue. He used to be a teacher at the same school as me. In fact, we were colleagues once. Remember that time that I told you about a teacher getting caught fucking a married co-worker on school grounds? That was him. He lies to vulnerable women and gets them into bed for the fun of it. Then he drops them.

“Any guess as to whom his most recent victim has been? It’s your boss, Lindsay. I didn’t tell you, again, because I didn’t consider it relevant and I don’t gossip. I’m no prude and I don’t expect everyone to be old-fashioned like me, but I abhor men like that. You probably would have gotten him, if you caught him between mistresses.

“It’s true that Suzanne is a bad wife, but that’s the point. He chose her on purpose, knowing that she was incompatible. That gave him the sob story he needed to get laid with the women, while at the same time she wasn’t as likely to catch him. Of course, when he is in the middle of an affair, he doesn’t look elsewhere. He’s oddly more faithful to his lovers than to his wife. It’s mainly because he prefers to move from woman to woman, not try to juggle them at once and keep track of his lies. When a particular lover bores him, he dumps her for a new one. That’s his pattern, honey,” Walter explained.

“Oh, baby, I’m so sorry! I can’t believe that I actually once thought about cheating on you with him! I guess that he wasn’t my type, after all. My man was already in my bed, if I could just get his attention back. Can you promise me something? Promise me that you’ll never deny me again and that you’ll quit drinking. I swear to never deny you, not that I can as your ‘pet’. I won’t try to control your life. I just want to know that you’re my husband again, not my drunken roommate, if that doesn’t sound too harsh,” Stacey cried a bit, more than merely ashamed of her previous attitude about her husband and her marriage.

“You won’t get crazy ideas of cheating anymore? I mean, we can both think about others, but not plan or take seriously notions of having such affairs. If you can swear that, I swear to give up the drinking,” Walter assured her, before they kissed with the kind of passion that they had forgotten until that morning.

Whatever issues they might have in the future, they decided to handle within their marriage, not by cheating. In Walter’s case, it would also mean not resorting to booze. Being his wife’s Master was a better feeling, anyway.

[Ruby]

Severusmax,

Well done. You've gotten into both of their heads, took us along for the ride, and created dialog that's very true to the characters as they've been created and presented.

This chapter serves multiple purposes.
It lets them confess their fantasies,
helps them understand each other,
sets some ground rules,
and provides a nice turning point for further exploration.

Congratulations!

If you were to do an editing refresh, (it's up to you and not an assignment) I would suggest adding a bit more action to break up the dialog. The actions can be minor, things like - he touched her cheek, she looked him in the eyes, he took a bit of food - whatever. Just enough to keep them on track, but let us know what's going on physically.

This chapter takes place at lunch, yet I don't know what they are eating, where they are, etc. Those little details will help your readers stay with the characters and satisfy their curiousity.

Also, one puncution nit. When using the word "too" at the end of a sentence, use a comma.

"I want to come, too."
"I feel that way, too."

Please answer the following questions:

What do you like about this chapter?

Dislike?

Did you have a hard or easy time writing it?

Why?

Is is a chapter you would keep in your longer story or ditch in the long run?

Why?

Your next assignments:

Please visit Maddie's thread and review her most recent story - third assignment.

Please take a look at the story contest for the next few months: http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6855

Pick one month and draft a story for that contest. Start a new thread in this level called "Story Contest work by Severusmax" and post the theme and your draft.

Hopefully your fellow students will provide feedback for your second draft. You'll post that and any other versions in the same thread and when you're ready, enter the contest. Before you enter, I'd like to see at least one and one update of the same story.

Congratulations on this fine bit of writing!
Looking forward to seeing what you come up with for the contest,

Ruby

[maddie]

I thought the idea of the story was interesting, but I felt like the dialogue was forced. It seemed like Walter and Stacey were making speeches, not having an actual conversation. In a real conversation between two people in this situation, I'd expect them to get animated, interrupt each other on occasion, and sometimes be unable to find the right words for what they want to say, especially in such a frank conversation.

One other thing I noticed was that it's never said where this conversation takes place, what they're wearing, or how either of them really feels. You try to use "he inquired" or "she wondered" to express emotion, but it seems limited and I think that contributes to why I felt like they were making speeches to each other.

My inner grammar queen is pretty happy, I must say. I didn't see any real issues with that, which always makes me happy.

I know that it can feel like there's always more things to think about at once and that it can be a bit intimidating, but I think you can make this into a fine story Severusmax. I really do.