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  1. #1
    Registered User
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    The Blossom Tree~

    This was a poetry exercise given to me by elyse.

    The three words were: blossom, mandolin and winter.

    Note this is my first time doing something like this so feel free to tear this to pieces. *smiles*


    I am roused from my slumber
    The rays of the sun
    Peeking through my window
    Not wanting to leave my cocoon
    The frost masking my view
    Of the ghostly winter
    That penetrates my soul

    I step outside, confronted by the cold
    Braced against the railing I smile
    Remembering what it was like
    Basking in the sunshine
    Smelling the fragrant scents
    Of the old blossom tree

    Watching with a sudden sadness
    The skeleton of the tree
    Without its sweet blossoms
    Pain constricting my heart
    Blanketed in snow
    No flowers or green fields in sight

    I remember a time fondly
    When under the old blossom tree
    A dear friend would play
    His sweet mandolin
    The melodies reminded me
    Of times long ago
    When I was happy and free
    Dancing with a flowing dress
    Chains of flowers entwined in my hair
    Laughing as if nothing could tear me apart
    Carried by the rhythm of the mandolin

  2. #2
    kitsune
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    lovely... very evocative. you've really captured the power of sense memory.

    i'm so *proud* of you!!!
    I have always known
    that at last
    I would
    take this road,
    but yesterday
    I did not know
    that it would be
    today.

    ~~ Narihira, 9th century Japanese poetess



  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by elyse
    lovely... very evocative. you've really captured the power of sense memory.

    i'm so *proud* of you!!!
    *beams* It isn't often I get such positive feedback from my poems. To hear such words of praise from you, a wonder poet yourself, it humbles me. Thankyou.

  4. #4
    Wanderer
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    Lovely work. I see between those two above me that the ranks of the talented are swelling in these parts.
    Mit diesem Herz hab ich die Macht
    die Augenlider zu erpressen
    ich singe bis der Tag erwacht
    ein heller Schein am Firmament
    Mein Herz brennt

    - Rammstein

  5. #5
    Seeking
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    Quote Originally Posted by Timberwolf View Post
    Lovely work. I see between those two above me that the ranks of the talented are swelling in these parts.
    Couldn't agree more Timber. Angel is not only talented she is an aussie. Go angel. *blushes* Oops cheerleading here.
    Quantum physics, worm holes, string theory... it teaches us what surfers already know... to ride a wave is to be one with the universe, the creation and the creator.
    - Bear Woznick (tandem surfer, waterman, pirate)

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Timberwolf
    Lovely work. I see between those two above me that the ranks of the talented are swelling in these parts.

    Oh my the first time I read your response I was reading it in metaphor *giggles* I need to get my little innocent mind out of the gutter.

    Thankyou so much for your feedback. I love reading poetry just as much as I find joy in writing it. This is a wonderful place to be.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gregsta
    Couldn't agree more Timber. Angel is not only talented she is an aussie. Go angel. *blushes* Oops cheerleading here.

    Nothing wrong with a Dom waving a few pom poms Gooooooo Team Gooooo

    Smiles at the visual stimulus ----------->


    Errmm...before I get into trouble...this might suit you more *giggles* ----->
    Last edited by slaveangel{HM}; 09-30-2006 at 09:35 PM. Reason: Hmmm....maybe the little cheerleader is me...not Gregsta, Sir...lol (whispers, am I safe yet lol)

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