C is for cum restriction

[maddie]

I thought for quite some time about what the C is for topic should be. There's so many possibilities. In the end, I opted for something that was a bit more of a light-hearted topic.

Cum restriction, cum denial, orgasm denial, tease and denial. . . Whatever you prefer to call it, it's an oft-favored tool of Domly types everywhere. There are different ways to approach it. One is a strict denial of physical stimulation. Another involves prolonging stimulation while refusing orgasm. Either way, it can make the end result a much more powerful experience.

Our very own MJs dhyanna, as many of us know, is rather familiar with CR. As she says,

"CR as a punishment for me is very effective since I love pain. Online as well as real life it is one of the few ways to make me suffer in a bad way =). I think the reason it works so well is that the first few days are not too bad and you lull yourself into a false sense of bravado. "This is nothing! HA I can do this! Who needs to cum?". A few days later and you find yourself getting turned on by stupid things (your kids Barbies carelessly tossed in the corner and Barbie lands with her face in Kens crotch). After a week or more, cumming is all you can think about most of the day. It is sort of like a reaaaaaaly slow water torture."

I tend to think of female subs when I think of CR, but it can be a rather interesting element of play for men in a submissive role. Male fantasies of being repeatedly aroused but denied orgasm can be found in a number of stories.

Closely related to CR is "tie and tease", a very common fantasy involving one person being tied up and rendered helpless as the other teases.

Wipipedia notes that there are potential long-term consequences for men undergoing CR: "The long term consequences for period beyond that are unclear, most sources seem to agree that the body will spontaneously resorb sperm, but that the prostate fluids should be removed regularly to reduce the later risk of cancer (known as "prostatic milking"). It is also said that if erection is inhibited for long periods penis skin becomes less elastic which may cause pain or other difficulty in the future when erections are again permitted." Such physical consequences don't exist for women, of course, but both sexes can experience an emotional impact.

I admit to being rather curious in general about why you Domly types choose punishments the way you do. As dhyanna notes, CR is effective for her, but she has also said she doesn't use it often as a punishment for her sub. However, she does say that it is "an effective way to prove a point in my opinion and to re establish control when needed in an online relationship."

So my questions to y'all: Have you used it? Have you been punished this way? What was it like?

[cariad]

Another great letter maddie - thank you!

I have never experienced it as a punishment, but as an extented tease - well after a few days as dhy says it can produce a strange kind of obsession.

cariad

[annie]

It has been used on me for motivation as well as for punishment. Amazing how my motivation level goes up exponentially to reach the goal....

[_ID_]

I have used it for both an online submissive, as well as my live in submissive. In both cases, it did as stated. Establishes control and dominance in the relationship rather nicely.

I have used it more for a training or conditioning tool than as punishment, simply because I tried to use it as a punishment once, and all it did was make her more cheeky, because they enjoyed the control, the Dominance they felt from the activity. I find that if I am going to do punishment, this wasn't the best tool with the submissive I was attempting to punish.

As to why we select what we select for punishment. I will wait to give that info when the letter P comes around.

V/R
ID

[Ozme52]

Yes. Now I tend to be more into forced orgasms. So if I task my submissive to masterbate to orgasm a certain number of times and they fail to do so, I put them on a regimen of masterbation with cum restriction. It usually doesn't take more than a day or two and I rarely have to repeat the lesson.

My primary use for cum restriction is to "prime the pump" so to speak. So if we have a rendezvous planned, I also put her on cock restriction a few weeks before a meeting and on cum restriction 4-5 days before the meeting so that she's very horny and primed for me.

[phantasy_seeker]

For me, it was both for 'priming the pump' (damn, I love that phrase Ozme ) and punishment, although it was generally more severe as punishment. And boy did I hate it. Not only could I hardly focus on anything BUT orgasm after a few days, it affected me emotionally quite a bit too. The symptoms were remarkably close to PMS, in fact.

After a while, we decided that it was more severe than I was prepared to handle for now. So we only do the 'tease but not allowed to cum yet' part, not the restriction for days.

[Timberwolf]

I think regardless of the gender of the sub, CR is a great tool both for establishing and displaying control, whether it's being used as punishment or pleasure. I think it's also one of the maybe "less scary" places for newcomers to start with. It's easy to understand, it doesn't involve any of those strange, kinky toys, but it's still so mentally effective. You don't have to be denied for a long period of time to really get the message either - that first time you're told (or are telling someone) "no. Not yet. You will wait," well that can be a pretty big and fun experience. Even if, at first, it's only for say that one session for a few minutes (I think it makes logical sense not to try not cuming for a week on pane of punishment as your beginning point). It's amazing, the first time you're told you can't touch yourself it suddenly becomes the hardest thing in the world not to do.

"Closely related to CR is 'tie and tease', a very common fantasy involving one person being tied up and rendered helpless as the other teases. "

In terms of actual sex acts, this has to be one of my favourites when I'm in a Dom role. The fantasy of tease them until they are, more or less, around the point of being put into a nuthouse. Then break out the cum overload. It may be a bit cliche within our community, but whatever. It works and it works well. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Of course, the old switch addage "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" can really bite you in the ass on that one.

[learningtopleez]

The first time I was on cum denial was with Max. If we were going to meet on a certain day, he would put me on CD about a week ahead of that. Talk about not being able to think of anything else! Geez, was I a horny little subbie! Just what he wanted!

Of course after reading your response there TW, it once again makes me think that there really is a Dom handbook out there somewhere! Because after being on CD for a week, and then being tied and teased....have mercy! And the release when he finally told me I could cum? Ahhhhh....heaven! For me, I had some of my most intense orgasms this way.

[Warbaby1943]

It seems CR does work well as an effective tool for making the orgams more intense when finally allowed. At least that is what I hear when it has been used.

[Phantome]

I really like the idea of having a sub masturbate several/many times a day, without orgasming, for a week or more. The effect is torturous to the sub and pleasant for the dom. *evil grin* Having multiple forced orgasms in the first session following CR is even better!
-Phan

[violetgem]

My exMaster used CR for punishment and for play. When using it with play it was such a tease and it would get me all anxious and keep me in that state of mind that he wanted, but I always knew with play he would be ordering me to cum sooner or later. Even though once and a while he would end the night with me not being allowed to cum, which would frustrate me to no end, but he always made me much happier in the morning. He also liked to have me masturbate without cumming before we would see each other, it did make it much more intense when we would see each other. For punishment, ugh, it served its purpose as punishment. Anytime I was punished, when the punishment was over it was always such an emotional relief, if CR was part of the punishment I could be crying my eyes out but when he told me to cum it was like a rush of bliss. As soon as it would be over his attitude would switch a little and we would both be out of the mind set that I was being punished, well obviously since the punishment was over, but it was kind of like him letting me cum was the end of that punishment and everything would be fine as long as we both learned a little and got something out of it. For me CR was both fun and punishment, depending on the situation, but I never got the situations confused and no matter what it was used for it got the correct message/attitude across, for him and I.

[Ruby]

Ah... CR or CD (cum deprivation, climax deprivation)
such an effective tool for those who enjoy it.

For others, the frustration can lead to unproductive anger and hostility. It can mess up a sleep schedule or lead to low productivity at work, as well. It's not for everyone.

For some of us, different types of CD can be just as tough to endure: cookie or chocolate deprivation!

Have I used this with my Nat? Sure I have.
Because he likes it and enjoys both waiting and
knowing that relief will be given.

Great article, Maddie.

Of course, the old switch addage "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" can really bite you in the ass on that one.

Timberwolf, that is so true.

[Radiance]

I believe in prostate massage,ggls,Best play in the world for a mans gspot,and best orgasm too But dosn't understand what this has to do with CR

[maddie]

Ruby, I have to say that cookie deprivation or chocolate deprivation are just a bit too much for me to consider! Why, that's cruel and unusual punishment!

I love how so many of you have mentioned using it before meeting your Dom or sub. What a wonderful way to get ready for that!

And I must admit that the whole tie and tease thing is one of my absolute favorite activities. Yum!

[~hellish one~]

Woogs thought it might be a good idea for me to reply to this particular thread since CR has become a near constant in my life lately. ~smiles~ maddie, i think you picked an excellent topic for "C"! i think it's something that the vast majority of us can relate to. i've enjoyed reading everyone's replies so far.

CR can definitely be used as punishment or pleasure. for me, it's all in the mindset. when i am told to do daily teases for so many days, even though it is hard and there might be the occasional time that i forget a tease or am late on a tease, i still enjoy doing them because i know that if i do them right, he will be proud of me. it's definitely not been a walk in the park though. i've caught myself right there on the edge many a time...and even accidently cum once. i like knowing he has control over not only my orgasms, but, with the teases, my pussy as well.

i've actually surprised myself lately with the ability to stop my orgasms. (except for that one time of course.) the teasing may leave me in a near constant state of squirming, aching, throbbing need...where i'd beg and promise to do anything if i could just cum!! but when i am finally allowed to cum after all that...~grin~ the orgasms are definitely more intense...and if i'm allowed...there are also many more of them! so in the end, i know that by being on CR and being mercilessly teased...not only am i pleasing him, but my pleasure is far greater.

[Havensov]

Reading these responses i have come to the conclusion that most subs like CR to some extent for both punishment and pleasure. I will have to try this with my training Pet, but with one problem. You all mention teasing on a regular bases say through out a day.

i would love to try this but we have a small baby, as well as a 7 year old that gets home around 3:30. So, if there are any mom subs, how have you dealt with teasing with CR and having kids around, and was it do able or did it cause more grief then pleasure in the end?

[RickBulow74]

After first reading about CR, I had diiscussed it with a female I had met in another chat site and she had not heard of it but would attempt it. she had been on restriction for a couple of days, and she is so anxious to cum that she had posted to me that she was moving her hand to her vaginal area. I stopped her a couple of times and even had her wear an av of a woman in cuffs as a reminder of not to lwet her hands roam down there.

I know that it is just an online chatroom, and most of the experiences I had read in this thread are real life but whatever I tell her or do to her online she does in real life and I thought I would like to share an experience I have

[Echoes]

I was made to masterbate sometimes for 10 minutes 4 times an hour for about 6 hours, then meet with them and continue with this while watching them and he would look at me and tell me I could orgasm, when I was right there....tell me stop and do this a few times, then I would go home and await his next instructions when they came to my email.
I went over 2 months without an orgasm, never sure if yes meant no at any time and absolutely disliked this.

a week or two sounds more intriguing, as long as you know there will be some release coming.

[cookiecat]

For some of us, different types of CD can be just as tough to endure: cookie or chocolate deprivation!

hmmm? i wonder if He thinks of CD this way?

actually, i've been quite lucky in that the Dom I met enjoys forced orgasms....and has yet to use cum denial as a punishment. I think several others have mentioned the effect of cum restriction as a way to get ready to meet and I have to agree it works!!

Prior to us meeting in real life, I was on cum denial for several days. I'd masturbate up to 6 times a day - I think it was 4, maybe 5 days - without cumming. Needless to say, when we actually met, it was intense.

cookiecat

[Mishka]

What is the secret of stopping?

Also, if you're masturbating that much do you have other problems? For example, you older subs (especially if you've had children), bladder control problems?

[learningtopleez]

So, if there are any mom subs, how have you dealt with teasing with CR and having kids around, and was it do able or did it cause more grief then pleasure in the end?

My kids are older now (20 and 18), and out on their own (sorta, but that's another thread entirely!!) . But when they were at home, I found that if they popped in unexpectedly, or it was time for them to come home from school, then I just switched over to Mom mode. It could sometimes be a little frustrating Havensov, but it was well worth it! She could perhaps work around the baby's schedule during the day, and then when it's time for the 7 year old to come home, then go completely into Mom mode. Of course a little flirting and such in front of your kids isn't a bad thing....you just can't go all out of course! Hope this helps ya!

[learningtopleez]

What is the secret of stopping?

Also, if you're masturbating that much do you have other problems? For example, you older subs (especially if you've had children), bladder control problems?

The secret is knowing that if you don't stop then you will disappoint your Dom/me, and if you truly want to please him, then you think of whatever it takes to get your mind off of cumming! The dentist appt. you have that you are dreading, the gyn appt. that you are dreading, work, world hunger....anything to take your mind off of cumming. It takes a lot of willpower and wanting to please, but it is possible. Not easy....but possible!

As for your other questions, since I am an "older" sub, and I have had children, I guess I am qualified to answer those questions also. The answers would be no and no! But that's just me! Anybody else?

[~hellish one~]

My recent experiences with CR, along with another suggestion from Woogs, ~grin~ have me here posting sort of an update on how CR affects me. I had posted before about how CR had become a routine thing for me lately. My teasing schedule has been pretty consistent and my body eventually became accustomed to the teases. Don't get me wrong, they still kept me on the edge and close to cumming...leaving my pussy aching and throbbing for release. I just didn't realize that my brain and pussy were being programmed to respond the way they did.

Without going into TOO much detail ~wink~ I'll try to explain. My teases were set at certain hours...sometimes hourly...sometimes every other hour. I know this seems pretty intense, and it was. It was hard work, remembering the tease...making sure I wasn't late. But after awhile it started getting easier. It still took a lot of determination and drive to complete my tasks on time, but I was more than eager to do this for him. Then, one day, he threw me for a loop, and said I was to stop all teases until further notice. To my complete surprise, I just about panicked. Part of me was relieved for the break, but another part of me was freaking out. It wasn't until the first few hours of being "taskless" that I realized why I felt so uncomfortable about it. My mind and body had been programmed to be ready for a tease at the top of the hour. So, even though I wasn't supposed to tease myself anymore, I would find myself still keeping an eye on the clock. There were actually a few times that I literally got up to go complete a tease, before I realized I wasn't supposed to do them anymore. Another thing that surprised me, was the way my pussy reacted to the stop in teases. I'd gotten so used to being turned on and wet from masturbating...that when the top of the hour came about, my pussy would still get wet...without me even touching myself!

It has been 3 days now with no scheduled teases, and I still catch myself sometimes waiting anxiously for the top of the hour! The urge has lessened over time, but is still there. During the 3 days I've also worried that I would basically, unlearn, all this training and when the teases started back up, I would be back where I started...forgetting times and being late for tasks. ~shaking my head~ I never thought I'd say this but I am actually grateful that my teases are to start back up Monday morning. Even though it is torture, (what would you expect from the Cum Nazi though? ~grin~) I love the tasks and my body wants to get back into that routine....I can feel it. I was assigned a different type of task this morning and I was ecstatic. I can't stand being idle...so at the first mention of a task this morning, I immediately became wet and squirmy and watched the clock...anxious to begin the task. I was just so amazed at how my body and mind was able to be programmed in such a way...without me even realizing it, until after the fact. It's such a wonderful feeling to know he has that much control over me. I just thought I'd share this experience with anyone interested...even though I'm sitting here blushing like crazy.

Now to answer a few questions I noticed in the thread...

i would love to try this but we have a small baby, as well as a 7 year old that gets home around 3:30. So, if there are any mom subs, how have you dealt with teasing with CR and having kids around, and was it do able or did it cause more grief then pleasure in the end?

I can empathize with you here because I have 2 small children. (7 and 3 years old) Doing the teasing tasks can definitely prove tricky...especially with kids around...and especially when you are doing the teases as much as I have been! I have always just found a private place where I can be alone for those few minutes. Whether it's in the bathroom or bedroom...it doesn't matter, just as long as I can get those few minutes of privacy. Naturally there are going to be times when you just have no way at all to obtain said privacy, like when you are driving, or busy with one of the kids. It's just one of those things you have to deal with. I have updates that I send in regards to my teases, and if there are ever times that I am unable to complete a tease, I always make sure he knows why. You just have to work around life is all. And to answer your last question...the pleasure in the end...is always worth it for me.

What is the secret of stopping?

I have done anything and everything within my power to stop myself from having an orgasm during CR. Of course, no one is perfect, (although I will always strive for that...perfection) and we all make mistakes. I've accidently cum before and it petrified me. There was just no stopping it that time. Naturally I was so disappointed in myself, but he was able to look past the unauthorized orgasm, took the entire circumstances into consideration and gave me the positive support i needed at that time. There have been several times that I've caught myself during the beginnings of an orgasm and the way that works best for me, is to stop masturbating immediately...squeeze my legs together as tightly as possible...and take several deep breaths. Heck, I've even gotten up and started walking around the room just to try and stop one, once!

~glancing up at all my rattling on~ oops...hadn't expected to say that much.

[rach]

Cum Restriction- ouch! Drives me to frustration and as others have said really does make for odd obsessions and I've found it certainly establishes control.

[SirJohn99]

With the on-line sub I had for over five years I used both what we called 'near-cums' and forced orgasms as punishment. I set a strict regimen for when she was to bring herself to almost cumming. The very first thing in the morning as she was sitting on the pot, but before her morning pee. During her lunch break in the ladies room. (I think the keeping quiet part of that was almost as bad as the near-cum!) The instant she got home from work. (She was required to strip just inside the front door of her apartment and stay nude constantly when alone at home.) And then again later that night as I watched her on cam.

Now this was punishment to her, not only because she hated to not finish what she started along with the, shall we say physical discomfort, but in her mind she knew it was because she had displeased me and that made it even worse. This was her atonement. But, I know you're asking about the forced orgasm part. When I felt that she was now properly contrite she was allowed relief, but on my terms!

As she sat before her cam I had her place a rolled up towel between her opened lips and place the infamous egg down there pressed tight against her clit. Then I sat back impassively and watched and counted the number of orgasms she had. After four or five days of being denied her clit was now hyper sensitive and being forced to cum as many as ten times without a break in between and not being allowed to remove the egg from her clit was absolute agony to her. The lesson had been learned and we only had to do this maybe three times in the five years we were together.

I guess you could say it was effective. *L*

[coookie]

CR leaves me clingy and insecure and a general basket case

[Saucie]

The one time this was done to me, I actually cried. He'd been playing with my clit with a vibrator for twenty minutes, and he shut it off. He's the only man that has ever been able to make me cum, and it wasn't until a few weeks ago that I was able to do it for myself. So for me, that was just cruel, and neither one of us enjoyed it. I do like it, though, when he makes me wait a few seconds longer than necessary, or whatnot, but building me up and just letting it fall apart is not something I can handle.

As for being told not to masturbate or something while we're apart... that's no problem for me. I went without for twenty one years, so a week or so isn't difficult at all.

[LadyEvyl]

All very interesting posts...and I agree its a great way to establish control. Punishment...well may its good but I like giving a more "hands on" discipline ;-)

I did however want to mention 2 things about male CR.

1. When a man does cum it sucks (no pun intented) a lot of energy out of him. Science says its takes 2 min for the sleep hormone to be released in man's body after orgasm...a woman it takes 40min. So by NOT ALLOWING him to cum he actually becomes more energetic.

2. Leave a man in a continuous state of CR for a while often leaves him semi-rigid in its normal state...and makes him last longer if he has been an excellent boy and you want to screw his brain out.

[Sir_Russell]

I use it to prepare her for first meetings and to teach her to be sincerely. Nothing like hearing her change from I have to sound like I am begging to actually begging.

Once you have made her beg to cum even in masturbation till she can't cum without permission then you are well on your way to truly owning her. Anyone that has heard the urgency in her voice knows when to say cum for wench cum hard for cum loud for me cum now. The sounds and orgasmic spasms she goes through when allow are wonderful.

[bip0lar]

well, along the lines of what havensov said, it's not only with mums. I mean, master had me masturbate every hour for a couple of days, and it was so frustrating I really had trouble concentrating on studying (let alone writing essays and meeting deadlines). The continuous teasing but not actually getting to cum can be really impractical at times because it can work both ways: constantly thinking about my pussy takes my mind off the book, yet constantly thinking about NOT studying doesn't allow me to let go. if it makes sense :-s