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Thread: Waiting

  1. 11-12-2006 #1
    vampyres{ID}
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    Waiting

    Begging, please consume me,
    Waiting, the spider and the fly,
    Struggling never to be free,
    Tangling myself to comply.

    Bend me to do your will,
    Break me with your pain,
    I beg of you to kill me,
    To create my life again.

    Cold steal against the skin,
    The flow of liquid fire,
    Deepest Crimson upon your chin,
    Agony sends me higher.

    I beg again, please take me,
    Smiling, you say not yet,
    Sound of a belt coming free,
    Now Scream for me my pet.

    This probley isn't all that good most of my poems are from depression or (My good ones) about politics. This is my first attempt at anything sexual. Feel free to offer advice ( I started this last night and finished it this morning so it is relitively new and I haven't really read it to myself that much, so I am not even sure how it sounds aloud)
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  2. 11-12-2006 #2
    Sir_G
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    I like this poem a lot. It has such a lovely dark quality to it and communicates the need and desire of both subjects so well.

    The best poetry is more often than not born out of strong emotions like depression and desire and I think you've done exceptionally well. More please!
    Quantum physics, worm holes, string theory... it teaches us what surfers already know... to ride a wave is to be one with the universe, the creation and the creator.
    - Bear Woznick (tandem surfer, waterman, pirate)
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  3. 11-12-2006 #3
    vampyres{ID}
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    Thank you very much I will be posting more (I am constantly writing something or another)
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  4. 11-12-2006 #4
    Timberwolf
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    I like it, it's intense and the rythym is solid. But the main point to me is always does it make me feel anything, and I definitely enjoy what this makes me feel.
    Mit diesem Herz hab ich die Macht
    die Augenlider zu erpressen
    ich singe bis der Tag erwacht
    ein heller Schein am Firmament
    Mein Herz brennt

    - Rammstein
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  5. 11-12-2006 #5
    SheepishJaina
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    Lovely poem

    Suddenly I am yearning...
    My Stories as Shannon J. Cole
    My Stories as Shannon.J.Cole



    subby sheep to a domly duckie *giggles*
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  6. 11-13-2006 #6
    vampyres{ID}
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    thank you all very much, it is an honor to get compliments here so much talent.
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  7. 11-14-2006 #7
    Radiance
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    Excellent
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  8. 11-14-2006 #8
    mina
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    Fuckin sexy!!! The two middle verses... oh my god, loved them!!
    Thou art my seventh angel squirming
    'Neath the forked tongue of the Beast...
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  9. 11-14-2006 #9
    SheepishJaina
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    *nods at mina* ohh yes, a very HOT mental image from that
    My Stories as Shannon J. Cole
    My Stories as Shannon.J.Cole



    subby sheep to a domly duckie *giggles*
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  10. 11-15-2006 #10
    poetic_justice
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    A truly beautiful piece of art vampyres.
    ...we can be forgiven...

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  11. 11-15-2006 #11
    slaveangel{HM}
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    Wow...an amazing piece. Thankyou so much for sharing this with us.
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  12. 11-15-2006 #12
    moptop
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    And I just loved that last verse... oh, the belt... mmmm

    Lips slip
    Fingers linger
    Heart starts


    Well, that was quick
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  13. 11-15-2006 #13
    frankee
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    Fucking hot!!

    Can't wait to read more!
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  14. 11-17-2006 #14
    vampyres{ID}
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    Thank you all for the compliments
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  15. 12-30-2006 #15
    _ID_
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    Yes lovely indeed
    and one day soon I will make you bleed
    our minds intertwining
    our souls combining

    one day soon my little one
    one day soon...
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  16. 04-17-2007 #16
    Darkmagi
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    Dark, enchanting, and very very good.
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