Financial Domination

[ShadowyFox]

Has anyone ever experienced this? I haven't, but I've seen websites about it. Not phone sites so much, but the actual sites that are made (the majority by dominatrixes) by individuals who make you pay for every little thing that involves contact with them. That they controlled every bit of their income.

Something about that is really powerful. Something intoxicating about having that sort of domination. It makes me think of the individuals who do so much humiliation to individuals, that they have multiple slaves and take their income as a means to be opulent.

Anyone else ever thought of this? Or had any thoughts about it?

[dynamicbuttler]

I am NOT into this. I'm a junkie for humiliation in it's rawest and darkest forms, but at my heart I'm a romantic. I couldn't be with a domme unless I loved and trusted her, and I do not love or trust superficial people- People who think about things and money instead of abstracts, ideas and feelings... I guess what I'm saying is that no superficial bitch is going to spend my money on designer clothes, etc.

[TheDeSade]

I have heard of it but have never seen it personally. I can see how someone with a really needy personality might mistake this kind of abuse for domination. I think in a lot of ways it is not much different than the kind of control that some cult leaders manage to inflict on their followers. They look for a certain personality type or traits and then prey on those weaknesses to their own personal good. I don't think it is domination I thinkn it is abuse.

[ShadowyFox]

That is possibly what draws me to it, as I've been a victim of several different forms of abuse. Strangely, I've seen it in many stories, and it is maybe a curious thing to say, but there is a certain quality that draws me to it.

I think that some of it might be me being drawn to abusive situations, some of it might be the feeling of others caring for me, for having certain things done, and all they ask of me is to give them a safe place to be.

[_ID_]

I've seen websites dedicated to this, as well as read some Domme profiles that advertised their services. I can't see this as being healthy in any regard.

Taking it one step further.

If however you were to be living with this Domme, and you were not simply a mare from their stable, them controlling your income. Deciding what does or does not get paid for, bought, purchased, without putting you into financial ruin. Then it could be a healthy relationship, but only if it was done to Dominate in a way that can be viewed as caring, and not neglectful.

[~hellish one~]

I've seen websites dedicated to this, as well as read some Domme profiles that advertised their services. I can't see this as being healthy in any regard.

Taking it one step further.

If however you were to be living with this Domme, and you were not simply a mare from their stable, them controlling your income. Deciding what does or does not get paid for, bought, purchased, without putting you into financial ruin. Then it could be a healthy relationship, but only if it was done to Dominate in a way that can be viewed as caring, and not neglectful.

i agree with everything you just said. although i envy the Domme that would have the time to micromanage their sub's life like that.

[Timberwolf]

I echo a lot of what has already been said. I think even at it's best, it's a sign the person Dominating this way is superficial, or even lazy (eg. "I am a pretty Domme. I don't feel like getting a job. Pay my bills, slave."). At it's worst, it's outright exploitation of male subs by, quite frankly, mental prostituion from people who in some cases probably aren't even real Dommes.

These "Dommes" who flaunt online how they have a stable of like 20 guys paying all their bills... let's just say if they are happy with their boys that's all well and good. I doubt they'd be capable of Dommeing someone like me though.

It generally goes against a lot of what I consider the important priciples of what I view as healthy BDSM or D/s activity, for me personally. And if there wasn't such a shortage of decent Dommes out ther for all those closet sub men, I doubt it would be half as effective as it seems to be currently.

"If however you were to be living with this Domme, and you were not simply a mare from their stable, them controlling your income. Deciding what does or does not get paid for, bought, purchased, without putting you into financial ruin. Then it could be a healthy relationship, but only if it was done to Dominate in a way that can be viewed as caring, and not neglectful."

I agree with ID on this though. If you're in a legitimate 1 on 1 relationship, perhaps it's something one could look more into. For example a lot of D/s kinksters seem to like the concept of "Daddy/daughter" or "Mommy/son" fantasy, and I could see working a sort of "allowance" thing into the picture, if that worked for you. Not for everyone but I'd say that would certainly be much helathier than the sort of "I have a stable of bill payers"... thing.

[TomOfSweden]

My last slave was also a money slave and so is the one I have now. It was on their request so it's nothing I demand at all. It requires extreme financial responsibility, which I have. Not being a poor guy also helps.

My slave gives me what she earns and begs me for money when she needs it. I'll usually say yes. I use my judgement, which seems to work fine. My job as a Master isn't to make my slaves life more complicated, but on the contrary, easier. I am a very generous person so I doubt she feels used in a bad way.

My advice is that if you want to be a money slave. Give it to somebody who doesn't actually need it, or you might end up just getting used for the money.

[gagged_Louise]

Saw this on the homepage of a Chicago dominatrix:

I'm a professional Domme so sex is out of the question. I charge 250$ an hour for giving you the training that you need to enhance your slavishness.

Bad ass. I can somehow understand that one might wish to be fleeced of money for reasons of sexual orientation, but there must be easier ways to achieve that feeling.

[annie]

Sho...

I think what the members who have posted so far, and now myself included, are trying to say is....

It may not be our (my) kink... but if it is yours and what excites you that is what matter! But... be careful not to be taken by a wannabe who only wants the money and doesn't want to actually be a Domme to you. Safety in all D/s relationships, be it physical, mental or even financial is what is most important!

Interesting topic and subject. One i don't think i have seen here before... thanks for posting it!

[TomOfSweden]

Saw this on the homepage of a Chicago dominatrix:

I'm a professional Domme so sex is out of the question. I charge 250$ an hour for giving you the training that you need to enhance your slavishness.

Bad ass. I can somehow understand that one might wish to be fleeced of money for reasons of sexual orientation, but there must be easier ways to achieve that feeling.

But that has nothing to do with being a money slave. This lady is a prostitute. it's a completly different issue.

[ShadowyFox]

Thanks everyone, especially Annie. I'm not sure whether I would want to be in the submissive position, but there is something so electrifying with controlling money. I don't really feel money is necessary to life, but allowing someone to gift things to me is very nice (and as an individual, takes much stress off and makes me blush alot).
I don't think I'd want to abuse a D/s relationship, but I do think that there is an amazing power, an intense energy, that I feel, even just thinking about someone actually wanting to pay to see, let alone have me guide them in any level of things.
I doubt I could ever do it (as I'm way too embarrassed to ever have something like that listed as a bank transfer or cashing a check like that), but it still is a tantalizing fantasy. I think that maybe, at least for me, it's a psychological...well, not sadism, but I think that maybe the money is something that has more weight than a simple compliment, you know?
After having been in an abusive relationship (and pretty well being told that I wasn't attractive for most of my life), it's like the power of an unexpected first kiss with the girl of your dreams. It's that level of intensity.

[Miraculix]

Not into it. Period. I have no online slaves and two offline girls on a sporadic base who have their own lives, families and dreams; and money is NEVER the issue.

Furthermore, I find it disgusting, and a sign of cheap-bastard-type-of-exploitation. Want to spend/lose money? Get a hooker, don't try to involve BDSM into it, where LOVE, TRUST and reciprocity are so much part of this...

Lets put it this way: NO Dom/Domme who intends to control your money as part of hi/her curriculum, would EVER pass the Acid test...

[Jadetiger]

I really find the responses quite interesting. It seems some how every one thinks these women are forcing these people. You and I may not have this particular kink but there are many that do or it wouldn't be a fetish. Now do you and I have such needs probably not but there are those that do. If they did I am sure they wouldn't feel comfortable in sharing them with us with the responses I have read. The site is here to share knowledge and our experiences. I don't think condemning others who participate in the form of domination is a way to encourage them to share their thoughts with us.

[Miraculix]

Sorry if it sounded like that. I was not condemning, simply stating my view on it...

In my opinion BDSM is not part of the game, when one of the two partners feels nothing for the other one.

[TheDeSade]

Still a very interesting thread. . . . . but is there a place for the submissive who really wants this kind of control? I know there are probably some out there who crave this sort of domination and who can easily afford it. If that is their kink should we condemn the person who gives them what they want?

[annie]

As i stated earlier...

May not be any one person particular kink....

The overall goal in any D/s relationship is safety (imho)... emotional, physical, financial... so to each their own... as long as everyone has the type of fun they desire to have!

[Timberwolf]

"I really find the responses quite interesting. It seems some how every one thinks these women are forcing these people. You and I may not have this particular kink but there are many that do or it wouldn't be a fetish. Now do you and I have such needs probably not but there are those that do. If they did I am sure they wouldn't feel comfortable in sharing them with us with the responses I have read. The site is here to share knowledge and our experiences. I don't think condemning others who participate in the form of domination is a way to encourage them to share their thoughts with us."

They're not "forcing" anyone, no. However when I (and many other sub males, not all as certain about what they seek or as educated about their rights as a sub) have to wade through "Domme" after "Domme" that comes with an hourly fee and the line "don't expect sex, because I'm a Domme and stuff", I don't think there's much reason to hold back on it. Some of the subs are certainly aware and accepting totally of the fact these women are sexual professionals who probably have a couple dozen clients a week.

But I don't think there's much question that, quite frankly, certain pro Dommes are using their position of (viewed) authority to exploit money out of curious/closet sub men that simply don't know any better. Actually I think I rather agree with Tom "But that has nothing to do with being a money slave. This lady is a prostitute. it's a completly different issue."

This is not to say that all people involved in the practice are doing it this way. And certainly some of the male subs do know full well what they are getting into. And there are ways I can see financial domination being interesting in a one on one couple. I'm just saying, I don't think there's much question there are certain Dommes using this to exploit guys that just don't know any better on the side by taking advantage of their emotions and feelings, and I don't think that should be glossed over. If we're going to discuss a topic let's look at all sides of it.

[~hellish one~]

This is a great thread and i'd hate to see it get trashed because the debate got a lil too heated. Don't mean to interrupt here guys but just wanted to remind you to keep things friendly and always remember what annie said...just because this particular kink doesn't work for you...doesn't mean it is not a healthy kink for someone else.

my point of view on it is this...

i'm all for Pro-Dom/mes...as long as the sub knows what they are getting into. and it doesn't make them prostitutes either...unless they ARE offering sex. Hell we pay massage therapists to give us pleasure but don't call them prostitutes now do we? i may not be into the whole Pro-Dom/me thing but that doesn't mean i am against others having fun with it.

now...as for money slaves...meaning subs/slaves that give their Masters/Mistresses all of their money...i don't see a problem with that either. i DO have a problem with the Dom/me abusing the situation though. if it is a healthy relationship then where is the problem? if Woogs and i were living together i would gladly hand over my money to him if he asked for it. i trust him with my money and i trust that he wouldn't abuse that privilege....but that's just me.

now...let's play nice and continue the debate

[Timberwolf]

"Hell we pay massage therapists to give us pleasure but don't call them prostitutes now do we?"

Depends on the massage.

[~hellish one~]

"Hell we pay massage therapists to give us pleasure but don't call them prostitutes now do we?"

Depends on the massage.

lmao! ~pinching you~ you know what i meant!!!

[Timberwolf]

Ouch! You're such a meanie.

Hey as I've said before in this thread, I see no reason a finincial Domination situation can't be healthy. I'm just not prone to accepting that (a) Being an attractive female (b) being able to set up your own website, and (c) being able to yell at men about how they should send you money to pay your bills, qualifies as the healthy version. But that's just me, I guess.

[TomOfSweden]

Sorry if it sounded like that. I was not condemning, simply stating my view on it...

In my opinion BDSM is not part of the game, when one of the two partners feels nothing for the other one.

Well, I can definitely see how being ignored, neglected and used can turn somebody on. I think you would benefit from widening your horizon somewhat. Masochism has many faces.

On a side-note, I love my slave more than life itself, and take all her money.

[TomOfSweden]

Selling your body and your services in any way could be labeled as prostitution if you're in the mood for it, (like going to a normal job we'd rather not do). But if the slave gives freely to the Master/Misstress and there is no service or negotiated number, than that can impossibly be called prostitution.

[His_blizzard]

But that has nothing to do with being a money slave. This lady is a prostitute. it's a completly different issue.

Actually I have two friends who are Pro Dommes and just like the one in the quote, there is NEVER any sex involved. They make rather good money because many are willing to pay to be trained professionally. I always thought a prostitute was one who is paid for sexual acts. ~bliz~

[~hellish one~]

Actually I have two friends who are Pro Dommes and just like the one in the quote, there is NEVER any sex involved. They make rather good money because many are willing to pay to be trained professionally. I always thought a prostitute was one who is paid for sexual acts. ~bliz~

that's what i'm saying...when i think of prostitute i think of someone charging money for sexual acts.

i can see how you could consider Pro Dommes that don't offer sex as prostitutes...after all they are prostituting their talents/abilities for money...but that is too general of a label for me. if you use the word in that sense then writers, painters...just about anyone that charges money for something could be considered a prostitute. soooo...yeah, Pro Dommes w/o sex just doesn't seem like prostitution to me. ~shrugs~

[TomOfSweden]

Actually I have two friends who are Pro Dommes and just like the one in the quote, there is NEVER any sex involved. They make rather good money because many are willing to pay to be trained professionally. I always thought a prostitute was one who is paid for sexual acts. ~bliz~

I define sex a lot broader than which parts go into which hole. The key is sexual excitment. If they're getting payed to give up time to make others sexually excited in person, then it's prostitution. I have a friend who worked as a male prostitute a while. The sex was just at the very end of the "date". Those women wanted to be seduced, with dinner and dancing and things like that. Most of it could hardly be defined as sex, but sure as hell got them excited. and they where willing to pay for it.

[Timberwolf]

"I define sex a lot broader than which parts go into which hole. The key is sexual excitment. If they're getting payed to give up time to make others sexually excited in person, then it's prostitution."

I don't think I could agree more.

[gloombunny]

So strippers are also a subset of prostitutes?

I generally agree that prostitution doesn't need to involve "sex" per se, but I'm not so sure about that consequence of your definition.

[Miraculix]

Strippers play with your feelings, or at least do their best to do so.

Does that make them prostitutes, or a subset of them?

Hell, even a commercial of Mars chocolate bars plays with my feelings!