Bored and looking for excitement

[janey*sub*]

Is it just me or does anyone else get bored of their current routine and need some new excitement in their life?

Although I'm the sub in our relationship my partner was not into the BDSM scene before he met me. So it's taken a bit of "Training" on both parts. He's settled into the role quite well but if I want him to try something new he seldom does it of his own accord and it requires me to drop a subtle hint or two. The problem is I've run out of ideas myself. We've done the usual oral, anal scenarios, we have even experimented with enemas to a degree, butt plugs dildos and nipple clamps are part of our regular play. I enjoy a good spanking with a riding crop or my masters bare hand but where do we take it from here?

Help! any ideas welcome.

[GaryWilcox]

I think you'd both be alot more excited with any scenario we mentioned if it came from him, from him deciding, setting you to the task, and his command of you. Drop a hint that he should come here and see what you're up to, and let him find out some ideas, look up some old threads. Leave it in his hands and see what he can devise.

[MrJerseyGuy]

Sounds like you are close enough as a couple that you can (or should be able to) talk! Tell him what you want! What I mean is...tell him you want HIM to come up with a scenario to take it to the next level. Something that will make a whole night of it. There are so many possibilities...public humiliation...chastity belts...candle wax (if you haven't tried that yet).

I'll be honest with you here..

In my relationship my g/f sub is very "open", but hesitant to tell me her limits. Because I worry about going too far, I usually don't go far enough. I would really appreciate her telling me exactly what she wants. Instead I am having to discover it the hard way. Maybe your Dom feels the same. I have thought about asking her to write out her "wildest sex fantasy" LOL! Although from what I've seen so far, I'm almost afraid to read it!

I just kind of perked up when I read your post because I saw the "hint" reference. We spend half our time hinting around to each other and the other half acting on it. I wish she would just spit it out! (No pun intended).

[slavelucy]

i agree with Gary on this, i don't think it is so much that you don't have ideas, but that it's much more exciting if they come from him (not always, admittedly, but in terms of the Ds thing).

i wouldn't even 'hint' to come here, i'd just be quite open and bubbley about it, say you've found a site you like and he should check it out.

sl

[Eraser]

Is it just me or does anyone else get bored of their current routine and need some new excitement in their life?

Rather then sounding off suggestions that make no sense, could you tell us a little more? its difficult to make suggestions on how to "spice things up" without a touch more background. The only general suggestion I would make is offer is suggest some reading material for him (I think their may be a couple stories in the library )

a scene routine sounds like maybe you both need to review what else is out there, not in the people sense, but if your looking for just sex BDSM, get a fetish list out and go over it. Ask if you can go on a "fantasy drive", this can be fun for both of you without a scene, take a long drive and just discuss type of scenes or things you enjoy or have read. the reason I say drive is for the isolation. No phones no computer no tv, no real distractions other then the road.

Sounds like you are close enough as a couple that you can (or should be able to) talk! Tell him what you want! What I mean is...tell him you want HIM to come up with a scenario to take it to the next level

pardon me on this one but if my girl came up to me and said "I'm board with our scene's I wan you to come up with a new scenario" I or even close I would slap her in a heartbeat, excuse me but it is NOT the place of the submissive to tell the Dom to do something or the ever popular "I want" this isn't about the submissive wants. If submitting is all about what the submissive wants, then she/he isn't a submissive. She's a top that wants to be beaten or spanked or tied up or any number of fun kinky things, but she wants to control the scene have it play out her way, or have the scenario play out a particular way. their is nothing submissive about that and just cause your on the receiving end of a tool doesn't mean your the submissive in a scene.

[slavelucy]

pardon me on this one but if my girl came up to me and said "I'm board with our scene's I wan you to come up with a new scenario" I or even close I would slap her in a heartbeat, excuse me but it is NOT the place of the submissive to tell the Dom to do something or the ever popular "I want" this isn't about the submissive wants. If submitting is all about what the submissive wants, then she/he isn't a submissive. She's a top that wants to be beaten or spanked or tied up or any number of fun kinky things, but she wants to control the scene have it play out her way, or have the scenario play out a particular way. their is nothing submissive about that and just cause your on the receiving end of a tool doesn't mean your the submissive in a scene.

Hmmm *thinks*. i'm not sure if you could have taken what MrJG said the wrong way, i don't think he meant he wanted his sub to demand certain scenes, but rather that he appreciated her contribution, and, as the dom, he surely has a right to be able to ask that!

However, having said all that, in actual fact, i agree with you, personally i have never been aux fait with the whole 'making loads of suggestions' thing, as to me, it seems to pick at the very heart of the Ds relationship (exploring things at the doms instigation)...BUT, i have to say, i seem to be (judging by some past threads of this specific issue) very much in the minority, which is why i have largely kept quiet on it....and i kinda get to thinking that if the sub wants to make suggestions and the dom also wants it...then that cannot logically be topping from the bottom.

my own dominant sometimes asks me what i thought about during masturbation, other than that, i think He probably ascertains my satisfaction with the relationship based on my behaviour.

i'm sure there's a thread on this issue somewhere, i'll try and track it down and post it if i find it.

sl

Found it!

http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php?t=1952

There arn't a great number of posts on it, but i think those who did post illustrate the issue pretty well.

[Eraser]

Hmmm *thinks*. i'm not sure if you could have taken what MrJG said the wrong way, i don't think he meant he wanted his sub to demand certain scenes, but rather that he appreciated her contribution, and, as the dom, he surely has a right to be able to ask that!
--snip--

Thank you for editing my post, I didn't catch that I forgot to close the quote.

I've seen for to many "Sir you can beat me this way, this many times, with this tool, until I say stop" submissive's or where the focus of a scene is about them and there wants. On the flip side of the topic, I am a great proponent of conversation and discussion. Understanding your sub/slave is a critical part of every relationship. Masters spend month if not years teaching a slave their prefrances and taste's, but a Master must also understand his slaves prefances and taste's. Please note I said understand not adhere to. One recomendation I would make to anyone is to have a submissive keep a activity/training journal it helps to convey things that maybe difficult to express respectfully.

[mythicat]

I would propose that not every S&M, top & bottom, or even B&D relationship is a D/s relationship. Not everyone who's into the more physical aspects of "BDSM" are interested in the psychological side. Just like not all of us who love a good "mind fuck" are especially interested in pain play. S&M and power exchange aren't inherently inclusive concepts, no matter how often they might be practiced together.

Different strokes for different folks! (pun very much intended )