M is for Masochism

[Guest 91108]

OK, Dominants and submissives , for your optical pleasure (pain or both)

M is for Masochism …(mas·och·ism )
n.
1. The deriving of sexual gratification, or the tendency to derive sexual gratification, from being physically or emotionally abused.
2. The deriving of pleasure, or the tendency to derive pleasure, from being humiliated or mistreated, either by another or by oneself.
3. A willingness or tendency to subject oneself to unpleasant or trying experiences.


I found this quote on the net and thought I might could be included …

A member of an Arizona BDSM club, Desert Dominion, offers her perspective on masochism:

"This is where you get into the pain/pleasure syndrome" says Dawn. "It's the easiest to misunderstand. People think if you are a masochist, you like pain. I don't like pain. That's not really what the term means and how we use it. A masochist receives pain in given amounts in order to get the endorphins going. That's what they are looking for, the endorphin high. No one will come up and say, 'I want you to hurt me.'"

http: //ww w.amorouspropensities.com/archives/bdsm/ what_does_the_masochist_g.php

I think there is a lot of truth to that if one digs deep enough.

What do ya’ll think.
I’ll not reply for more till others have time to respond.

So there we go; the end of the April postings for the A-Z for this month.

[Wolven_Vixen]

I never really considered myself to be a masochist, but I think I should take a closer look. I had thought of masochism as being extreme with the level of pain involved...

I have found that a certain level of pain does most definitely enhance sexual play for me...I've enjoyed much harder spankings than I ever thought I could, with hand, belt, crop, flogger, even the paddle.....also nipple clamps, wax play, and a few others.

Before, I would avoid any pain I could at all costs, but now that we've experimented some, I think I have to admit that I now long for that "endorphin high" that takes me to that other place.

So, does that make me a masochist? I don't consider the pain that I receive to be abuse, mistreatment, or unpleasant as it is called in the definitions. I don't go to the extreme with the pain that I choose to endure. Or does it even matter?

Any thoughts?

[Guest 91108]

That is what this thread is trying to search for.. " Does it even matter? "

[cariad]

I was once told that a masochist is someone who enjoys pain almost regardless of the situation and how applies the pain, and a pain slut is someone who only enjoys pain if it is applied in a sexual scenario.

Thoughts anyone?

cariad

[Guest 91108]

c. that is close to what i had in mind for a pain slut. there's a few here on the forums.
I would be curious how masochist place requirements on their sadists for levels of pain too.

comments?

[^firefly^]

I suppose you'd classify me (though I dislike classification) as more of a masochist than a pain slut. I remember there was a thread somewhere about "good" pain and "bad" pain, and I'm reminded of it at the moment. For me, not all pain is good (stubbing my toe on the coffee table hurts like a *&Y@!) but sometimes when mundane things that hurt *can* feel good (Last night, for example, I cut my hand fixing dinner...yeah, it hurt, but after that first "ouch!", it was a "good" hurt, but then again I like watching myself bleed.)
As far as having requirements for "my" sadists...I'll put it this way. I know I can't be happy being a submissive without being a masochist. (If he doesn't *want* to hurt me, then on some level, I never feel completely fulfilled.) That desire to inflict pain has to come from him...if he's just doing it because it turns me on, it still isn't enough. I'm constantly learning, looking for new ways to push my pain threshold.
It's also interesting to note that it takes a lot for me to make myself hurt--I don't know if I'm anticipating it in my head or what--but the "ouch!" factor of self-punishment is never as great as it is if it's someone else's hand holding the whip, so to speak. Does that make sense?
I know I'm rambling and much of this is highly subjective. It's only my personal point of view/opinions, so feel free to comment or disregard as you see fit.

[Guest 91108]

ah firefly that is a good post you added.. I thank you for it.
And i can understand that to the sub .. the Sadist has to be self inspiring .. not merely performing to please you.. it shows in the " quality of actions " eh ?

*smiles*
I really need to be more Sadistic myself.

[^firefly^]

It does to me, at least. If I know someone at all, I can usually tell if the pain is being inflicted to please me or because it pleases the person inflicting it. The former can turn me completely off, even if the pain is enjoyable. The latter can turn me on in an instant, and make even the worst pain bearable.

But again, that's just my 2 cents.

[gagged_Louise]

I'm constantly learning, looking for new ways to push my pain threshold.
It's also interesting to note that it takes a lot for me to make myself hurt--I don't know if I'm anticipating it in my head or what--but the "ouch!" factor of self-punishment is never as great as it is if it's someone else's hand holding the whip, so to speak. Does that make sense?
I know I'm rambling and much of this is highly subjective. It's only my personal point of view/opinions, so feel free to comment or disregard as you see fit.

I do agree, firefly, it's really not easy to find ways of inflicting pain, putting yourself to torture that will measure up to someone else putting you through pain IRL - and especially not stuff that you can leave going on for sometime, hitting you again and again, while your hands are free to do other things (like, typing, or bound behind your back). I wish it were easier, but much of the time you have to sort of add on a bit with your imagination, building it into an image or a scene. Whipping yourself is fairly useless to me, it's not one-tenth of the real thing, plus you can't be in position. I'm eagerly on a quest for finding more effective ways of self-torture....

[elliemay]

I've been thinking on this subject recently, the whole am I a Masochist? question.

Firstly The good pain/bad pain thing I do understand, stubbing toe yep ouch, fingernail scratching, nipple clamps, wax good pain.

I think I would come under pain slut as I like my pain in a sexual context but then so do Masochists. If the distinction is whether I then like pain outside of sexual expression that would be an interesting question.
When I got my tattoo I nearly fell asleep I was very 'in the zone' with the constant sting of it, it lulled me into something which was new to me.

I will move away from physical pain a little into the emotional and other stuff.
I have always pushed myself and I have always had a desire to find the limits of things whether that be my physical limits, skills or emotional boundries.

I joked about being an emotional masochist because I have always been the one who got into things and was blind to the falls that were coming but I think that is part of my nature. I don't enjoy emotional pain but there is a part of that which I do understand that may well come under masochism.

The whole power dynamic in D/s to me is as much emotional as it is well power exchange, the rush of adrenylin when you feel that transfer of power and the edge of fear, uncertainty mixed with trust and desire that I love.

So I haven't answered any question but maybe another dimention to it would be the adrenalyn junkie!! I fit that category. I also have some serious sadistic tendencies which don't play out in RL but do in reading/writing and pics I like to explore.

So on both sides I love the helpless sub, I love the pleading. needing and begging eyes. I love pushing boundries and I do get off on pain!

Oh and as an afterthought I do agree, the self whipping thing does nothing for me, that without the power exchange just doesnt work for me where as nipple clamps work regardless. I guess some pain is dependent on the context and some are simply yummy anytime.

[bip0lar]

I would classify myself as a masochist, however the good and bad pain firefly mentioned is true (for me at least) not only on the level of good pain being a spanking from Master's hand and bad pain stubbing your toe on the coffee table, but also the psychological element to it. For example, i could never ever ever enjoy the pain coming from punishment. There's a psychological barrier that is telling me that i can't enjoy it because it's not being given to me for pleasure. I think that different implements work on this distinction between punishment and pleasure--for example, with Master, online, we normally use clothes pegs on my nipples during play. However the few times i had to be punished, he had me use a different kind. Now, i cannot speak for him so I don't know if he did it because the different kind produced more pain or not, but in my mind, whenever we use them instead of clothes pegs, i have now connected them with punishment.

[MissMasochist]

I believe myself to be a true physical masochist. I've been addicted to physical pain since my early teens, at times relying on the endorphin rush like a drug. I've experimented with scratching, biting, burning, cutting, whipping, spanking, needles etc and I get pleasure out of it all. Some of this has been experienced through "self harm", and some times I was fortunate enough to have it administered by others.

I am probably not as much an emotional masochist as I am a physical one, but somehow I really appreciate suffering mentally for someone I love.
I can enjoy being emotionally toyed with, but I'm not a very strong person in that department, so again it has to be with someone I know, love and trust.

I understand there are many Doms that dont like administering physical pain as a form of punishment to their subs. I am completely with them on this, because as a masochist, if I knew I was going to get physically punished (ie:rewarded) every time I did something wrong, it would just reinforce my bad behaviour.

I think an emotional/mental punishment (for myself anyway) is far harder to deal with and greater lessons can be learned from them.

The feeling humiliation brings for me in private is euphoric. Sometimes I feel as though I could cum from being humiliated alone. I have no idea why this is. Public humiliation on the other hand has the reverse effect on me. I cannot handle public humiliation - I die on the spot.

For me Love and Pain seem to run parallel alongside each other. Where I find love, there is pain, where I find pain there is often love. The line between them in so very thin and fragile.

There we go, my speech over ^_^

[icey]

i dont really and never have considered myself a masochist ...i sometimes use the term in a joke or if it makes it easier to say something in a post ...but i think there are too many definitions of the word and its a very grey area and doesnt really apply to bdsm anyway nor does sadist its again just a term/umbrella we use as with many others.

i disagree with this statement No one will come up and say, 'I want you to hurt me.'" because i have done this on quite a few occasions and for various reasons, not with the sole intention for getting a high but because it turns me on plain and simple, just like someone saying i want you to give me a bj they're not looking for a high just pleasure.
ive also done it if ive been stressed or if ive caught it early enough and want to s/harm its a form of release and many other things, nothing to do with pain or getting a high of any kind.



and unlike others have said about not liking pain such as stubbing your toes etc even though it feels horrible and i dont like it in a weird way i do! same with being ill,im not a hypocondriach and dont like being fussed over when im ill or hurt in fact i hate that so its nothing to do with that either, i really cant say what it is i just dont know, maybe i feel i need 'punishment' or i 'deserve' it but i dont get any gratification from it really.
as for humiliation other than in play i dont like it at all!

if any of thats a form of masochism then i guess it would make me a masochist so to speak but i still cant really apply it to me.

but all the rambling aside,to answer Wolfscouts question..no i dont think it does really matter and why would it?

[orangeblossoms]

Ive realized that Im selectively massochist, lol. I pride myself in being able to take and enjoy any pain that is given to me by my owner, or self administered, but some things just, eek, I hate, like clips on my nipples. I don't have any problem with needles, safety pins, sewing pins, and especially with the blood play, that is right up my alley, I guess one of my next endeavors will be to sew my pussy lips together, with the help of my Master, its something Ive always wanted to try. Take Notes Master

[bellelapine]

I think true masochism depends on the level and the type of pain you enjoy. I laughingly call myself a real masochist because I double majored in history and english, two of the most boring droll subjects to most people. (Not to me but...hello masochist).
I enjoy physically pushing myself to my limits but there are certain pains that I won't even feel remotely comfortable attempting. Burns are right out to lunch. However I've done the self inflicted pain, such as scapels and knives, particularly at emotional low points. I think at times masochism is a type of drug to help you overcome and kick start yourself from those times in which you may otherwise desire to curl up and die.
However sexual masochism and being a pain slut, is different for me than actual masochism. I embrace actual physical pain (not just what I consider sexual foreplay) when I'm at the lowest point I can be. I think for myself it keeps me balanced, like I have the ability to hurt myself but I won't take my own life (if that makes sense?). However since my Sir came into my life, I've turned over that to Him, so if I have the need to punish myself to the extremes I will/have, I can go to Him and He helps me rationalize it and then gives me the pain I actually deserve (instead of what level I may feel...wrongly in a lot of cases...I've earned).

As an aside I really hope this makes sense...my brain's slowly dying with the hour.

[steelish]

I never really considered myself to be a masochist, but I think I should take a closer look. I had thought of masochism as being extreme with the level of pain involved...

I have found that a certain level of pain does most definitely enhance sexual play for me...I've enjoyed much harder spankings than I ever thought I could, with hand, belt, crop, flogger, even the paddle.....also nipple clamps, wax play, and a few others.

Before, I would avoid any pain I could at all costs, but now that we've experimented some, I think I have to admit that I now long for that "endorphin high" that takes me to that other place.

So, does that make me a masochist? I don't consider the pain that I receive to be abuse, mistreatment, or unpleasant as it is called in the definitions. I don't go to the extreme with the pain that I choose to endure. Or does it even matter?

Any thoughts?

OMG! Same here! I never thought of myself as a masochist either, but I know that pain enhances the sexual pleasure I feel during a session.

I used to think of a masochist as those women (and men) that you see in the fetish photos with spikes driven through their breasts or balls. Ugh.

Lately I have started to crave more intense scenes, but haven't worked up the nerve to ask. *smiles* Maybe sometime I will beg him.