my journey

[tessa]

my Husband waivers in this lifestyle, which makes his Dom days few and far between. i am still the same...at least i think i am...maybe i better think about that again...i think that i treat Him consistently regardless if he is in Dom-mode or not but its not easy.

Wow, orchid. I think you sent that very thought to me earlier, as I had it. I am not sure if I am consistent enough, but I'm trying. Anything in particular you do to help yourself in this way? If so, I'd love to know what it is?

I will say this about it all- the way we communicate with each other is a million percent better now as opposed to before.

And the sex is phenomenal! Can't fail to mention that!

[jeanne]

I will say this about it all- the way we communicate with each other is a million percent better now as opposed to before.

Ours is about 100% better, working on that million! (if I keep working on letting go of my embarrassment and fear of "what is he going to think!")

And the sex is phenomenal! Can't fail to mention that!

Oh god yes! LOL

What fun you are, tessa! Have a great weekend!

[orchid]

well, i dont think i really do anything

its just a matter of trying to remain true to myself and what i want and need from our relationship

regardless of whether or not he is in dom-mode, i still yearn to serve him and please him so i just keep doing what i normally do.

i will admit that there are times, though, when he is not in dom-mode, that i have done things that i wouldn't normally do - like if he asks me to get him a drink, ill say no, or get it yourself or what do i get out of it - its certainly not anything i would ever consider saying any other time but for some reason, when hes just being a 'normal' guy, im not worried about it

if im being honest, part of it is probably being done to get a rise out of him and push him into being a dom...not that it works, mind you...he doesnt fall for that and i do catch it later for those occurences.

ill have to think about it more and then add to this if i think of anything of substance to add...i never really thought about it before but i will now.

orchid

[tessa]

ill have to think about it more and then add to this if i think of anything of substance to add...i never really thought about it before but i will now.

I look forward to anything you have to say. Learning from others is a great perk of this place.

his_j, you have great weekend as well...with all the p.s. you can handle. (that's code for phenomenal sex )

[suchaminx]

tessa ~smiles and hugs~

you may be learning from others but I am convinced that your words and your honesty are helping others too

more smiles and hugs

minxy xx

[pixie_dust]

you may be learning from others but I am convinced that your words and your honesty are helping others too

Have to agree with this one...you inspire patience and tolerance in all of us, tessa. Thanks for being you!!

[tessa]

Have to agree with this one...you inspire patience and tolerance in all of us, tessa. Thanks for being you!!

I am showing this to my Devil first thing. He won't believe it.

pixie, I will say that you are the very first anyone who has ever said anything like this to me. It means more than you can imagine to have this thought from you. My deepest thanks. ~hugs~

minxy, as this was in part your idea to begin with, credit goes to you. Talk about inspiration! ~points to minxy~ Right there.

~thinks over last night's happenings~ It's very true...good things do come to those who wait...come in, come on, come all over...

~giggles~

I love this place!

[pixie_dust]

I will say that you are the very first anyone who has ever said anything like this to me. It means more than you can imagine to have this thought from you. My deepest thanks. ~hugs~

You definately deserve to hear it more often, then. *warm hugs*

[gagged_Louise]

Tessa honey, your zany humour and your sense of the beauty of submission is such an inspiration to aspiring slaves like me. Can't fail to be grateful
*tight hugs*

[tessa]

You definately deserve to hear it more often, then. *warm hugs*

That is really sweet! ~hugs the beautiful pixie~

So, I got all ready to attend the graduation- hair just so, make-up as flawless as I could get it (I took lots of extra time is what I mean). The I heard that voice calling to me...the one that makes you shiver all over because when you hear it, you know exactly who's speaking in that moment...and the voice says, "I need something from you before you go."

~jumps up and down, all happy-like~ I don't know what I'm doing right (or if I am at all), but a man has just got to be feeling his Dominant-self to request what my Devil requested 5 minutes before the time I absolutely had to take my made-up, dressed-up self out the door in order to attend a semi-formal event...right??

Oh, I hope that's it!!

<<< happy-subbie dance right there.

[jeanne]

Wow, you are one blessed submissive (Sounds like he's probably doing his happy-dom dance too - I wonder what that would look like?)

[pixie_dust]

Oooh, you must've looked absolutely hot n' tasty! Lucky girl!! *weg*


*closes eyes to picture tess all done up...yummmm*

[tessa]

(Sounds like he's probably doing his happy-dom dance too - I wonder what that would look like?)

It might not be the same for all Doms, but my Dom's happy dance isn't so much a dance as it is a state of being- relaxed, reclining position combined with a slightly smug smile and an all the way satisfied look on his face.

Oooh, you must've looked absolutely hot n' tasty! Lucky girl!! *weg*

Again, you are just too wonderful! I might have to lick you all up!

[DareDevil]

I like that happy dance, little girl. Do that for me later.

The Dom dance sounds about right.

[Flaming_Redhead]

Tessa, I just caught up with your thread. I know! *sigh* I meant to keep an eye on it as soon as it started. I just want to say that you are NOT the worst submissive in the world because that would be ME. *nods emphatically* I might even tell you what happened. Anyway, just know that having an experienced dominant doesn't make this journey easy. We all have our issues that need to be addressed. After reading this, my eyes got all teary because I realized that I wish I was more like you. You have learned so much in such a short amount of time. DD is right to be proud of you. You have your mind in the right place whereas mine is just....missing. LOL I am honored to have y'all as my friends. I am looking forward to seeing more of y'all whenever we can manage it. You are truly special whereas I am special with a capital "R." (think short bus...) ROFL

*huggles you in a boob squishing hug and threatens to get mascara on you*

p.s. I loved that "oh no you didn't" moment. *snickers* At least I'm not the ONLY one who gets disapproving looks, though I'm the only one here lately....*sigh*

[tessa]

Tessa honey, your zany humour and your sense of the beauty of submission is such an inspiration to aspiring slaves like me. Can't fail to be grateful
*tight hugs*

~tight hugs right back~ Louise, if anyone is an inspiration to be true to self, it's you! ~huggles again~

When did my Devil sneak in here??? Oh, well, dancing later, I see. That'll be fun.

Red, hmm...gonna call and see what's wrong with you. Capital "R" stands for Red- beautiful, vibrant Red. No short bus for you, hun. More like me??? Oh sweetie, we need to talk loads more! And don't worry about the mascara. I don't care a bit. Get it all over the next time, ok? You know I love ya bunches!

[Guest 91108]

this thread just keeps getting better due to the two involved herein.

[pixie_dust]

Licks???? Hmmm....anytime they're involved with you dear, bring 'em on!!! *big grin*

[Eponine]

Tessa,

I finally got the time to sit and read through your whole journey so far.

I really am enjoying reading about this journey and am glad you are sharing it with everyone here. I know sometimes it isn't easy (refer to breast-jiggling demand & its retelling here)! ... oh, and btw, i also love the juicy details as well! i can share some of my own too if you're interested

It's really great to read your thoughts because I can relate to so many of them- and the behaviors you've described as well... even though we have such a difference in our situations.

Now, I have very little experience- living as a slave/ sub...
but... I had some thoughts occur to me about the concept of your master "going Dom" on you...

I think, if he is truly dominant- which it sounds like he is- it will flow naturally after time- whether the two of you are eating dinner with your son or having a randy old time in the br.

I can understand wanting the "domliness" all the time, of course- to me, it's a sexual turn-on, as well as satisfaction of an emotional need, deep in the core of me- as you put it yourself.... BUT... I am learning that being a slave is about: Am i pleasing Master? in anything and everything I do...

Now, i don't yet live with Him, so we'll see how it all enfolds then, but when I'm there from Fri. eve to Sun. aft. every two weeks.. We do a lot of day-day regular stuff... and I _always_ know who We each are...

We're in the store shopping for mirrors... We're in the car and joie's driving and Master's even in the backseat... We're at a restaurant and He pulls my chair out for me... I've even been over there with my son (2 1/2)... and even though I do not address Him as Master, wouldn't kneel at His feet, or other things like that, in front of my son...

It just never matters... We're just Us... always... I always feel safe and secure and loved by Him, I always know who's in charge of me and this relationship... even in those "vanilla" times...

I attribute this to Master- something I really love about Him, and can respect is that He is so self-assured (not in a cocky way at all) of who He is... He just is... Master... i remember talking to joie (this is His other slave, btw) and she said "There is no Michael who is not Master" and I understand that now...

So, Tessa, that's what I mean- if the two of you are right for each other in that way, it will just fall into place... no matter what's happening.

I think Sir Russell always has inspiring words to offer (in many other threads as well)- and I believe he had some really good ideas- & I noticed you finally started saying "my Master" rather than "my husband". Yay! Good job, Tessa!

And, again, these words are those just from a 31-yr-old girl who's always known (since i was 9, basically) she needed a Master (only the right one- 'cuz trust me, all those other men ~boys~ who came along got their asses kicked by me lol sort of) but has still only just begun to truly live that life (i've had other sub experiences, but very brief and not many).

So... sorry for the rambling!!!! But i saw you still wanted some input on post # 13... oh i forgot to answer that-
i wanted to say
COMMUNICATION
can't stress that enough

i mean.. i'm sure you've learned that skill already having been married 20 yrs! congratulations by the way, that's a big feat, especially in this day and age!

i think the two of you can still sit down and talk about the day-day stuff- who should do what, etc... now, he can have the final say, of course.. take your input, but make the final decision..

Anyway, can't wait to read more of the The Glass Flogger: Sleeping Subbie meets Master Charming... oh well something like that.. sorry, cleverness eludes me tonight lol

[tessa]

~licks my lips looking over at the sexy pixie~ You're just hot, you know that? Wait..yes, you do know that. I mean look at that grin! Oh yeah, you know.

~runs over and grabs the delicious little pixie and licks her all up!~

Mmm, that was a delicious treat.

And Wolfie, you sweet thing! Not to ruin your rep or anything, but that was a wonderful statement to make! If you don't have any strong objections, I'd like to give you a little hug?

mari...wow. First off, thanks for taking the time I know it took to comment in such a deeply thoughtful way. (and dang, if that was cleverness eluding you, I don't think I could handle the brightness of it shining straight on me...but oh my, I'd like to see it and try ) Several things resonated with me and I just want to savor over them if that's ok?

I can understand wanting the "domliness" all the time, of course- to me, it's a sexual turn-on, as well as satisfaction of an emotional need, deep in the core of me- as you put it yourself.... BUT... I am learning that being a slave is about: Am i pleasing Master? in anything and everything I do...

~nods and nods and nods in agreement~ Yep, that right there! It is about taking the focus off yourself and applying that focus to HIM. In doing that, my needs are dealt with just fine and dandy, I'm coming to realize. And I am SO going to steal what jeanne said in her thread (hope that's okay, jeanne!!)

I think it's just getting to the point that there's a momentum here now and I need to just relax and let him take more of the lead - quit worrying about MY needs and seriously start thinking about and acting on HIS.

Oh yes, yes, yes to that too! You know, sometimes I just sit back in my chair here and get a little awed by the insight offered up here. Amazing! And thank you both. ~hugs~

mari, you also said,

So... sorry for the rambling!!!! But i saw you still wanted some input on post # 13... oh i forgot to answer that-
i wanted to say
COMMUNICATION
can't stress that enough
i mean.. i'm sure you've learned that skill already having been married 20 yrs! congratulations by the way, that's a big feat, especially in this day and age!

Thank you also for this advice. Talking it all through is a major component in the success in all this. But you know what? Until I finally had the sense about me to take all this to my Devil, I didn't do such a hot job at the whole communication thingee. All the assumptions I made, all the opinions I had without seeking his side of it all...~sighs~ But that's in the past. And now, we communicate. It's not all the way perfect, because we are just mere mortals (I know, I know, hard to believe ), but it's better than it ever was. And we are definitely much more settled with each other now. There is a nice flow going. I am enjoying the ride, so to speak.

And mari, I absolutely love the new title-- "The Glass Flogger: Sleeping Subbie Meets Master Charming"-- LOVE it! Can I steal that, too?? Pretty please??

Again, I just really love this place. ~hugs everybody 'cause I'm feelin' it~

[Selash]

First and Formost. I would like to introduce myself, I know this isnt really the main location for this, but I figured this was a good place full of good people. I am Selash, I am new to the lifestyle. While I am a Dom, I am also trying to find myself, I have sub qualitys also. So I dont really know where I fit in. But thanks you all "DD, Tessa, Wolf, Sir Russell, and everyone else to numerious to name' I am beginning to understand more about me and my role in life. I wont step on Tessa's or Mr. DD toes by bringing my own story into this thread, but you all have trully been an asset to me and I am very thankful to be part of this community. I hope to beable to post more and learn ever more.

Selash.

[tessa]

~wonders if my boobs classify as "really big"...checks 'em~ Close enough, so I'm going to dare enter. ~grins~

Well hi there, Selash. Very nice to make your acquaintance. And you are more than welcome to post your intro in here. It's seems appropriate, you wanting to give tribute to this community in this thread as I started it to begin with because of the encouragement from a couple very special people here who welcomed me in and made me feel right at home. I hope you get the very same from all us now.

tessa

[MajesticFae]

First and Formost. I would like to introduce myself, I know this isnt really the main location for this, but I figured this was a good place full of good people. I am Selash, I am new to the lifestyle. While I am a Dom, I am also trying to find myself, I have sub qualitys also. So I dont really know where I fit in. But thanks you all "DD, Tessa, Wolf, Sir Russell, and everyone else to numerious to name' I am beginning to understand more about me and my role in life. I wont step on Tessa's or Mr. DD toes by bringing my own story into this thread, but you all have trully been an asset to me and I am very thankful to be part of this community. I hope to beable to post more and learn ever more.

Selash.

Welcome, love. =) I hope you continue to learn and grow with us. And yes, I believe that my boobs qualify!

-Fae

[gagged_Louise]

Hi and Welcome, Selash - and I can assure you Tessa is a wonderfully warm and hospitable Southern Lady with a big heart - and she's especially fond of hearing other people's sensual, lewd and kinky ideas

[tessa]

~tries to peek down Fae's shirt to see her, umm...qualifications?~

and she's especially fond of hearing other people's sensual, lewd and kinky ideas

Ah, darling, you know me so well.

~hugs Louise all up~ You are just yummy!!

[Selash]

Deepest Heart felt thanks for the warm welcome. I will gladly take in all and anything anyone is willing to share. Thanks for all the help so far and I hope someday I can help someone that needs it.

[MajesticFae]

~tries to peek down Fae's shirt to see her, umm...qualifications?~



Ah, darling, you know me so well.

~hugs Louise all up~ You are just yummy!!

Maybe you'll get lucky one day, Tessa, and I'll decide to post pictures of them!

[Rhabbi]

Tessa,

I think this is the first time I have posted to your thread, but I do follow it. I enjoy all your thouights and the conflicts in your life, and the wat you are open enough to let all of us share in your growth.

First and Formost. I would like to introduce myself, I know this isnt really the main location for this, but I figured this was a good place full of good people. I am Selash, I am new to the lifestyle. While I am a Dom, I am also trying to find myself, I have sub qualitys also. So I dont really know where I fit in. But thanks you all "DD, Tessa, Wolf, Sir Russell, and everyone else to numerious to name' I am beginning to understand more about me and my role in life. I wont step on Tessa's or Mr. DD toes by bringing my own story into this thread, but you all have trully been an asset to me and I am very thankful to be part of this community. I hope to beable to post more and learn ever more.

Selash.

Hello and welcome Selash, confusion is normal at first. Speaking as a dom, I think you should explore your sub tendancies because they will make you a better Dom in the long run. good luck on your quest.

Maybe you'll get lucky one day, Tessa, and I'll decide to post pictures of them!

Hey I vote for the pictures, but I like boobs. to be honest, I like everything about the female anatomy. And I truly appreciate your creativity.

[Selash]

Thanks Rhabbi, and Fae.. Those breast have got to be wonderful I have no doubt. But everything looks better with a couple lash marks or maybe a nice red hand print.

[MajesticFae]

Thanks Rhabbi, and Fae.. Those breasts have got to be wonderful I have no doubt. But everything looks better with a couple lash marks or maybe a nice red hand print.

True true. Maybe pictures will come in due time... if I can get up the nerve to take some! *blush* I think tessa should join me in the boobie picture taking, since hers are supposedly big enough to enter as well!