Humiliation

[MajesticFae]

I searched for this a bit, but came up with relatively nothing.

I know a number of people are in to the humiliation aspect of BDSM. I'm curious as to what this means to you? How do you incorporated it in to a scene? How does being humiliated push your buttons? What do you define humilation as? What sorts of actions do you consider to be humiliation?

[hawk_fann]

I think the textbook answer is that it is something that a person finds shameful, embarassing or repugnant. I can't say exactly how it pushes my buttons, because as with most aspects of bdsm, it just seems to click. I have used humiliation as a punishment (negative reinforcement) and as an opportunity for my sub to demonstrate submission. I prefer the latter.

Humiliation is an apsect of bdsm that came to me later, after I had discovered at a relatively early age that bondage or restraint of any kind caused a sexual reaction in me. The restraint is a very obvious display of power differential. Humiliation, on the other hand, is much more mental. It can be extremely subtle. In other words, it is not necessarily about a sub having to urinate in her clothes or eat out of a bowl - it can be something as simple as a certain position. A good Domme friend of mine told me not long ago that when she wants to humiliate a sub, she makes him or her send her a photo of the himself/herself on the toilet. Not a scat thing or anything like that - just a picture of the sub sitting naked on the toilet. It is amazing, she told me, how many people will not hesitate to send any kind of picture of themselves she wants, but will dread submitting a shot of themselves on the toilet because of the inherent embrassment.

I look forward to reading the responses you get to this, because there are a broad range of things people find humiliating. Body writing, when certain words are used, is a favorite of mine, especially under th clothes when the sub has to go to work. Forced nudity for prolonged periods are another. I'm sure there are many subs out there who will say "I love that!" But then, the fact that a sub might get aroused by it does not mean it's not humiliating to her, as humiliation and arousal often go hand in hand.

[Selash]

Being Dom I see humiliation as great power tool. Causeing the Sub to submit.

[DrGeordie]

I'm not sure if you saw this and decided it wasn't what you were looking for but this topic was covered in a fair bit of detail here http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php?t=7281

DrG

[ElectricBadger]

I would define it as the strange feeling of discord when one's actions are not aligned with the expectations of society.

It may involve simple name calling (slut, bastard, etc) or socially unacceptable situations (public nudity) or acts (things which are 'sick').

For me personally, as a Dom, the thrill is the sense of self-empowerment, individualism and freedom. Having sex in a public place is unacceptable to society; thus, doing so snubs that control and defines me as ME, as my own wants and desires unfettered by others. I would imagine for a sub it would be similar but inverted: a sense of being totally controlled, individualism and importance as a result of surrender and lack of power.

[caitstuart]

...."the strange feeling of discord when one's actions are not aligned with the expectations of society."

What a great definition, Electric Badger....i didn't see it that way, until now.

I also agree that using humiliation as a tool serves to emphasize the sub's sense of being controlled. I'll go a step further, in saying that this "tool" must be judiciously applied....the goal is not to truly tear into self-esteem/self-worth (i would hope!)...i see it as a method of underlining the power dynamic of D/s.......and....oh yeah, it can be a huge turn-on for some folks!

[MajesticFae]

I'm not sure if you saw this and decided it wasn't what you were looking for but this topic was covered in a fair bit of detail here http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php?t=7281

DrG

Nope, DrG, I didn't see that. I'll have to read it.

Thanks for the replies so far, everyone.

Edit: I just read through the thread that DrG pointed me to and it answered a lot of my questions. If you haven't read it and are curious about more on this topic, I suggest you read it. Or, feel free to post your feelings on here. =)

[TomOfSweden]

This is both my and my slaves main fetish. This is how I make her mine. I humiliate her constantly to affirm her position with me.

[cadence]

This was another interesting thread that had focused on humiliation, by TDS, I was hoping that more people would have responded to it, as I thought it was very interesting and hopefully TDS will be back soon to revive the thread and give his two cents on it.

http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php?t=9221

I consider myself to be an exhibitionist, and I think that humliation just came naturally to me.
It is interesting that the more you start to enjoy it the more you find that your limits can be pushed farther. Eventually what you used to find humiliating, is just another thing you do.
I play online with this every once and awhile, but I do have to watch, as humliation can be harmful it you don't play carefully, usually I tend to let my limits get pushed enough, so that the end result can be euphoric, but I end up getting a bad case of sub drop. I am usually left to deal with this on my own and it will sometimes last a week, before I am fully functional again.
Still I enjoy the humiliation aspect so much, I will always go back and do it again.

[MajesticFae]

This was another interesting thread that had focused on humiliation, by TDS, I was hoping that more people would have responded to it, as I thought it was very interesting and hopefully TDS will be back soon to revive the thread and give his two cents on it.

http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php?t=9221

Thank you, cadence. That thread was really enlightening as well. I hope TDS will come back and add in his thoughts now, as well. Maybe I'll post my thoughts. *ponders*