Everyone into BDSM

[Kaori-san]

I cant be the only one who has found a lot of boyfriends/girlfriends they have had and infact a lot of people in general seem to have some sort of BDSM related fetish.
It is sometimes only a little thing, the love the tease/be teased to climax, being tied up/tying someone up etc.
I just think that a lot of people who would consider themselves vanilla enjoy some aspect of BDSM.
Certinally you hear on films the idea of a Dom female or male (not so much a sub though). Really, in some form or another people all around see and hear abou BDSM without realizing it. Lots may not know what BDSM actually is, but they will often have a small kink that will never mean they are a full blown Dom/sub/masochist/sadist.. but they still have it.

Well, just some food for though, has anyone else ever found that many vanilla people have a kink and still consider themselves vanilla. Or does anyone have thoughts about this?

[warlock]

I used to go out with a Sunday school girl. She never thought she had any kinks, but I soon started introducing little things like spanking her while I was having sex with her, then moving on to blindfolding her and tying her up. She wouldn't have gone that way by herself, but she loved it when I did. And for myself, there's no better feeling in the world then when you think you're "corrupting" somebody

[oneslave4me]

I think I'm like the "sunday school girl" previously mentioned gone over to the deep dark side.

I never ever would have found BDSM without DH. Never would have considered it. At first I was repelled and appalled by it, then I thought it was something DH needed to be excited by me, then I understood how powerful it made me, and now I revel in both sub and domme. I cannot now imagine life without it. Vanilla seems so hopelessly bland and boring.

So I'm thankful that DH had the patience to teach me and the endurance to ride out my initial resistance and subsequent ineptitudes and i love the kinky sex life we now have

[her_Joe]

I agree completely, and notice so much of one (BDSM/vanilla) bleeding into the other that I've adopted -- in my own mind -- a different approach to keep it a little bit straight.

I mean: vanilla folk tease, and BDSM folk use the missionary .... so the diff is?

I think it's attitude. BDSM folk are open to experiment, perhaps with limits, but also without judgment. Vanilla folk are closed and judgmental about any practice that doesn't fit their idea of what is "normal." BDSM cherishes difference. Vanilla doesn't like change.

IMO of course.

her_Joe