Lost

[MEL2102000]

i cant say how much i have acutally learned from here, but it is a lot. i have a question for anyone that can answer? how do i get over feeling uncomfortable talking to people about how i feel? when it comes to telling all i get scared like the other person has all the power over me that they need and i just get so scared that i feel like running the other way. and i hate my self for feeling like that cause i know that i should not cause there is nothing wrong with what i want.

[Euryleia]

Are you speaking of rl or online? Sometimes you can practice talking about your feelings online and work on how you react before trying to do the same thing face to face.

It can be scary to bare your innermost thoughts but it is only by asking for what we want that we can ever expect to get it.

[MEL2102000]

thank you for your answer. i have never told anyone online what i want i am in the process of tell my partner but i keep getting very fraked out everytime i do i will try as you have sugessted ihope it work neverbeen good withtalking though thanks agian

mel

[Flaming_Redhead]

I, too, have problems expressing what I want face to face, even if he tells me to, i.e. when he asks if I want to be fucked in the ass. Sometimes, I still hesitate to say it in which case I'll have to repeat it several times. *groans* In terms of having an actual discussion about stuff, I prefer to communicate via email. It gives me time to think about what I want to say without having him sitting there looking at me.

[Sir_Russell]

MEL2102000
For many it is very hard to talk about deep personal issues. I don't know that it is a bad thing but when you can't open to someone that is very special to you it is. Start out by admitting it to that person then attempt it. When you feel less then worthy remember that there are a lot of guys and Doms that would love you to be theirs. 5'2" redhead with blue eyes I would have killed to be there for you when I was close to your age. Remember that you are special and someone else will see that.

[MEL2102000]

i thank you both for you answers i willtake your advice and use it well ilike the idea about using e-mail. and sir russel thank you for your compliment i do appricate

[annie]

Just an additional thought... I have a hard times, at moments, opening up just because the language that may used is not a word/language I would normally use. "Fuck" would be an example. Took me a while to get used to using the term on line, although is easier mainly because I don't feel as though I have to watch for/judge their response to the word. I still struggle, at times, to verbalize it in r/l just because of the mental boundaries I was always taught, etc. about certain words. Saying some words, over and over make them less frightening and therefore I am more apt do use them when trying to share something special with my partner with less hesitation.

[MEL2102000]

just_annie i thakyou for your advice it seems to make a lot of sense iwill have to try thanks agian for all your help.

[pixie_dust]

WiDom and I have been together for years and I still have trouble at times expressing what I want or need. While it's gotten much easier over time, some things still catch me. The only advice I can give, is to trust that if it is something that matters to you, it will matter to others as well.

[MEL2102000]

thank you pixie dust i guess i have a hardtime beliving that sometime but it is true thank you

[jeanne]

I also have a hard time expressing myself verbally. I can talk all around something, but struggle with getting to the point and being frank. The written word is my friend - I communicate much better in writing. Unfortunately, the person I most want to communicate with does better with verbal communication. Do I have some advice/insight? Just keep trying different ways to communicate - you'll come across something that works for you.

[nightsilver]

One thing that may be helpful would just write down what you want to express first so you can organize your thoughts. Of course you could just hand him what you wrote.

[Sir_Russell]

This I think is on topic here. I was a Dom/Master for decades but would not touch a whip, I was whipped by mommy dearest with a rubber hose cut into a cat of nine tails as a child, talk about abuse and I still have the scars.

Some subs wanted me to whip or flogg them, I refused totally. It wasn't that I objected to cause what normally would be pain. Hell I love to spank hard and pull hair plus clip clamps etc are a turn on, I paddle leaving an imprint in pink on a fleshy ass was always a turn on, but no whip what so ever.

morgan begged me to try, gave me her soft suede flogger to us on myself to see that not real harm could be inflicted with my trying to. I spent a lot of time thinking about it and finally agreed to try it because she meant that much to me and she had showed me how much it meant to her.

I am now very good at it and love it a lot, if she had just excepted the spanking etc. and not spent the time and the words to show me I would still not use a flogger.
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