tired.of.vanilla's second assignment

[Dragon's muse]

Craft a scene/chapter/story that involves the following elements:

A television set
a bowl of apples
a mask

[tired.of.vanilla{DJ}]

Heather walked in the door with a sigh, threw her keys and pocket book on the desk, and strolled back to the bedroom. The house was quiet. Her husband must not be home yet, she thought. She strolled into the master bedroom, threw her jacket onto the bed and stepping into the bathroom. It had been a long day and all Heather wanted now was a nice hot shower. She wriggled out of her dress suit, pulled the stockings and under things off and tossed the whole lot into the basket.

The shower ran hot as she stepped underneath. Running her fingers through her hair, she relaxed in the steam. Strawberry shampoo went in her hair, vanilla bodywash covered her body, she was truly enjoying herself. She picked up a razor and ran it over her legs, under her arms, and then down into the folded lily to remove all the stubble. A quick rinse and she was clean and happy.

Wrapping herself in a fluffy white towel, she walked back in the bedroom and picked up her jacket to hang over the chair. To her surprise Heather found a note, a small box, and a copy of the new contract she and her husband had signed last week. They had been playing lightly with bondage for a while, when they decided to take the next step. A contract had been written with some help from an educational website, and they declared themselves “in the lifestyle” last week.

She picked up the box first, opening it with ease and stared down at the shiny steel collar with a tiny wrench to lock it with. A smile spread across her face as she closed the lid and picked up the note.

Strip completely.
Go to the living room and push play on DVD.
Sit in the leather chair and watch.
Do not touch yourself.
Eyes forward at all times.
Love John.

Heather nearly swooned. She was so happy to see this! It just might be the first real scene of their new lives. She finished drying off, combed her long red hair, and practically skipped into the living room. The chair was dead center in front of the widescreen T.V., a bowl of bright green apples on the coffee table, the remote beside them. She landed with grace in the chair and pushed the power and play button.

On the screen two big blond men were playing with a short brunette woman. One had his rather large cock in her mouth, pulling her hair and grunting. The other came at her from behind as she stood on all fours. He ground into her hips as she sucked. Heather smiled, threesomes were on their list of fun possibilities and she was delighted her husband had picked up this new DVD. It was going to be a struggle not to reach down and stroke her clit as the men on screen fucked the slut silly.

The movie played for some time before she heard a rattle of keys and the door opening. She started to turn and greet her husband when his harsh voice growled.

“Eyes forward!”

She turned swiftly back to face the screen, her ears burning with shame. Now the two men were taking turns getting sucked, the girl between them bound tight and drooling. His footsteps grew near and his hands snaked up behind her and touched her shoulders. She trembled beneath his grip. He released her and then stroked her hair and eased something over her head. A blindfold stole away Heather’s vision. She gasped and wiggled with delight.

“Stay” he told her firmly. She did so, listening to the moaning from the TV and imagining what he would be up to. She heard him come into the room again, and then cold steel gripped her neck. He snapped the collar in place and fiddled with it, no doubt tightening the screw that would lock her in for good. It felt wonderful on her skin, cool and smooth, yet hard and final. She practically burned with the heat between her thighs.

“Now my lovely girl, down on your knees, hands behind your neck, that’s right. Just like that.” He took his hands and pulled her chin up. “Perfect.”

Heather kneeled for a moment before feeling a hand cup the back of her head, then a bump as something pressed against her lips.

“Kiss it.” John ordered. She did. It was warm and moist. “Now go ahead.” She grinned and then took his cock into her mouth. She had always been half-hearted about giving head. But being ordered brought out a whole new passion in her. She licked and sucked, deep throated and even gagged. She fluttered her tongue along the base and swirled the head in her mouth like a lollipop. It grew in her lips, large and hard. Throbbing with heat it swelled and thrust. The hand on her head forced her down hard, more forceful than John had ever been before. It startled Heather into trying harder still. She could feel the drool drip down her chin; she struggled to stay up on her knees. The cock filled her so much she could barely breathe.

Finally it began to shutter. “Swallow every drop” cooed John. She groaned. He knew she hated the salty brew. With a final quake the cock began to pump her mouth full. She had no choice but to swallow as there was literally no room to spit it out. Finally he pulled out of her with a grunt. Hands gripped hers. “Good girl.”

She sagged and began to sink down to the ground. He yanked harshly at her. “I did not release you!” he commanded. Then gripping both arms back he clamped cuffs over them, folding them down to the small of her back.

“Open wide.” He ordered with a tap on his finger to her lips. Heather’s jaw ached as she did as she was told. He slammed a green apple into her maw. “Mhhnm.” She groaned. He then pulled down the blindfold and tightened it over the apple…making a new gag out of the fruit.

She stared at him. How odd, she thought. He was fully dressed. He reached down and turned her head. Standing to her right her face was inches from a damp soft cock. She looked up in shock. Some strange man stood there. She had blown some stranger. She turned back to John and glared. What was going on! John smiled and took the contract from the coffee table.

“I decided to bring in the third party early my dear. Meet Max. Max just flew in for the weekend. He has been training new couples and new fem subs for years. I brought him over to teach us some things.”

Heather looked back at Max. He grinned and bent over, clipping a leash to her collar. “It’s going to be a long weekend.”

[Dragon's muse]

i promise i have not forgotten you. i will get to this tomorrow. Weekend was hairy.

[Dragon's muse]

i am so sorry to be so late, but i have to beg for a day's more grace to get to this.

rose

[tired.of.vanilla{DJ}]

Take all the time you need! It's a long story and real life easily gets in the way! Thanks for doing this at all. You are wonderful to take the time to help us at all. *hugs*

[Rhabbi]

Sorry about taking so long to get to this, but it is really not my job. If I had known muse was hurt and so busy I would have said something sooner, just so you would not feel unappreciated.

Again the story is good tov, just need to work on the grammar a bit. Also, some of the word choice needs some polishing. this might seem a bit picky, but using stood instead of knelt/kneeled makes a different picture. btw, I am old fashioned so kneel, knelt, sounds better to me. I know there seems to be a movement to stamp out those irregular verbs to make things easier or something, but it bugs me. Just my opinion there.

Heather walked in the door with a sigh, threw her keys and pocket book on the desk, and strolled back to the bedroom. The house was quiet. Her husband must not be home yet, she thought. She strolled into the master bedroom, threw her jacket onto the bed and stepping into the bathroom. It had been a long day and all Heather wanted now was a nice hot shower. She wriggled out of her dress suit, pulled the stockings and under things off and tossed the whole lot into the basket.

The shower ran hot as she stepped underneath. Running her fingers through her hair, she relaxed in the steam. Strawberry shampoo went in her hair, vanilla bodywash This is usually tow words, but can be one. I guess this would be an editorial option more than anything. covered her body, she was truly enjoying herself. She picked up a razor and ran it over her legs, under her arms, and then down into the folded lily to remove all the stubble. A quick rinse and she was clean and happy.

Wrapping herself in a fluffy white towel, she walked back in the bedroom and picked up her jacket to hang over the chair. To her surprise, Heather found a note, a small box, and a copy of the new contract she and her husband had signed last week. They had been playing lightly with bondage for a while, when they This is just a bit awkward, I would use and had. This allows for the continuity in time without implying that everything occurred right then. decided to take the next step. A contract had been written with some help from an educational website, and they declared themselves “in the lifestyle” last week. Again, the phrasing of this sentence is just a bit off. Why not try They drew up and drop the word they from the second phrase?

She picked up the box first, opening it with ease and stared down at the shiny steel collar with a tiny wrench to lock it with Delete. This is actually one of those grammatical no nos that so many people use, ending a sentence with a preposition.. A smile spread across her face as she closed the lid and picked up the note.

Strip completely.
Go to the living room and push play on DVD.
Sit in the leather chair and watch.
Do not touch yourself.
Eyes forward at all times.
Love John.

Heather nearly swooned. She was so happy to see this! It just might be the first real scene of their new lives. She finished drying off, combed her long red hair, and practically skipped into the living room. The chair was dead center in front of the widescreen T.V., a bowl of bright green apples on the coffee table, the remote beside them. She landed with grace in the chair and pushed the power and play button.

On the screen, two big blond men were playing with a short brunette woman. One had his rather large cock in her mouth, pulling her hair and grunting. The other came at her from behind as she stood knelt on all fours. He ground into her hips as she sucked. Heather smiled, threesomes were on their list of fun possibilities, and she was delighted her husband had picked up this new DVD. It was going to be a struggle not to reach down and stroke her clit as the men on screen fucked the slut silly.

The movie played for some time before she heard a rattle of keys and the door opening. She started to turn and greet her husband when his harsh voice growled.

“Eyes forward!”

She turned swiftly back to face the screen, her ears burning with shame. Now the two men were taking turns getting sucked, the girl between them bound tight and drooling. His footsteps grew near and his hands snaked up behind her and touched her shoulders. She trembled beneath his grip. He released her and then stroked her hair and eased something over her head. A blindfold stole away Heather’s vision. She gasped and wiggled with delight.

“Stay” he told her firmly. She did so, listening to the moaning from the TV and imagining what he would be up to. She heard him come into the room again, and then cold steel gripped her neck. He snapped the collar in place and fiddled with it, no doubt tightening the screw that would lock her in for good. It felt wonderful on her skin, cool and smooth, yet hard and final. She practically burned with the heat between her thighs.

“Now my lovely girl, down on your knees, hands behind your neck, that’s right. Just like that.” He took his hands and pulled her chin up. “Perfect.”

Heather kneeled for a moment before feeling a hand cup the back of her head, then a bump as something pressed against her lips.

“Kiss it.” John ordered. She did. It was warm and moist. “Now go ahead.” She grinned and then took his cock into her mouth. She had always been half-hearted about giving head. delete being ordered brought out a whole new passion in her. She licked and sucked, deep throated and even gagged. She fluttered her tongue along the base and swirled the head in her mouth like a lollipop. It grew in her lips, large and hard. Throbbing with heat it swelled and thrust. The hand on her head forced her down hard, more forceful than John had ever been before. It startled Heather into trying harder still. She could feel the drool drip down her chin; she struggled to stay up on her knees. The cock filled her so much she could barely breathe.

Finally, it began to shutter. “Swallow every drop” cooed John. She groaned. He knew she hated the salty brew. With a final quake, the cock began to pump her mouth full. She had no choice but to swallow as there was literally no room to spit it out. Finally, he pulled out of her with a grunt. Hands gripped hers. “Good girl.”

She sagged and began to sink down to the ground. He yanked harshly at her. “I did not release you!” he commanded. Then gripping pulling both arms back, he clamped cuffs over them, folding them down to the small of her back.

“Open wide.” He ordered with a tap on his finger to her lips. Heather’s jaw ached as she did as she was told. He slammed a green apple into her maw. “Mhhnm.” She groaned. He then pulled down the blindfold and tightened it over the apple…making a new gag out of the fruit.

She stared at him. How odd, she thought. He was fully dressed. He reached down and turned her head. Standing to her right her face was inches from a damp soft cock. She looked up in shock. Some strange man stood there. She had blown some stranger. She turned back to John and glared. What was going on! John smiled and took the contract from the coffee table.

“I decided to bring in the third party early my dear. Meet Max. Max just flew in for the weekend. He has been training new couples and new fem subs for years. I brought him over to teach us some things.”

Heather looked back at Max. He grinned and bent over, clipping a leash to her collar. “It’s going to be a long weekend.”

[Dragon's muse]

Nice story. Try varying the sentence structure in the first paragraph. You used the verb "threw" twice in the first paragraph. Vary the word choice a bit. Like the twist of the third party. Emotional impact could be strengthened if you put some of her thoughts in quotes. Good beginning; i will get your next assignment up today or tomorrow. Now on the the nits.

Heather walked in the door with a sigh, threw her keys and pocket book on the desk, and strolled back to the bedroom. The house was quiet. Her husband must not be home yet, she thought. She strolled into the master bedroom, threw her jacket onto the bed and stepping (stepped) into the bathroom. It had been a long day and all Heather wanted now was a nice hot shower. She wriggled out of her dress suit, pulled the stockings and under things (one word)off and tossed the whole lot into the basket.

The shower ran hot as she stepped underneath. Running her fingers through her hair, she relaxed in the steam. Strawberry shampoo went in her hair, vanilla bodywash (i'm fine with one word here, maybe its a chick thing) covered her body, she was truly enjoying herself. (Need some more connective words or semicolons here, commas separating the independent clauses turn this into a series of comma splices) She picked up a razor and ran it over her legs, under her arms, and then down into the folded lily to remove all the stubble. A quick rinse, and she was clean and happy.

Wrapping herself in a fluffy white towel, she walked back in the bedroom and picked up her jacket to hang over the chair. To her surprise, Heather found a note, a small box, and a copy of the new contract she and her husband had signed last week. They had been playing lightly with bondage for a while, when they decided to take the next step. A contract had been written (passive voice. "They had written a contract" with some help from an educational website, and they declared themselves “in the lifestyle” last week.

She picked up the box first, opening it with ease and stared down at the shiny steel collar with a tiny wrench to lock it with (delete). A smile spread across her face as she closed the lid and picked up the note.

Strip completely.
Go to the living room and push play on DVD.
Sit in the leather chair and watch.
Do not touch yourself.
Eyes forward at all times.
Love John.

Heather nearly swooned. She was so happy to see this! It just might be the first real scene of their new lives. (This is one of the places i meant when i said what i did about thoughts in quotes. Having her say out loud, "Oh my god, our first scene", maybe even squeal) She finished drying off, combed her long red hair, and practically skipped into the living room. The chair was dead center in front of the widescreen T.V., a bowl of bright green apples on the coffee table, the remote beside them. She landed with grace in the chair and pushed the power and play button.

On the screen two big blond men were playing with a short brunette woman. One had his rather large cock in her mouth, pulling her hair and grunting. The other came at her from behind as she stood (knelt)on all fours. He ground into her hips as she sucked. Heather smiled, (semicolon here instead of a comma) threesomes were on their list of fun possibilities and she was delighted her husband had picked up this new DVD. It was going to be a struggle not to reach down and stroke her clit as the men on screen fucked the slut silly.

The movie played for some time before she heard a rattle of keys and the door opening. She started to turn and greet her husband when his harsh voice growled.

“Eyes forward!”

She turned swiftly back to face the screen, her ears burning with shame. Now the two men were taking turns getting sucked, the girl between them bound tight and drooling. His footsteps grew near and his hands snaked up behind her and touched her shoulders. She trembled beneath his grip. He released her and then stroked her hair and eased something over her head. A blindfold stole away Heather’s vision. She gasped and wiggled with delight.

“Stay” he told her firmly. She did so, listening to the moaning from the TV and imagining what he would be up to. She heard him come into the room again, and then (time tags are seldom necessary. The reader will assume chronological order of the story, so these words can almost always safely be deleted) cold steel gripped her neck. He snapped the collar in place and fiddled with it, no doubt tightening the screw that would lock her in for good. It felt wonderful on her skin, cool and smooth, yet hard and final. She practically burned with the heat between her thighs.

“Now my lovely girl, down on your knees, hands behind your neck, that’s right. Just like that.” He took his hands and pulled her chin up. “Perfect.”

Heather kneeled (knelt) for a moment before feeling a hand cup the back of her head, then a bump as something pressed against her lips.

“Kiss it.” John ordered. She did. It was warm and moist. “Now, go ahead.” She grinned, and then (delete) took his cock into her mouth. She had always been half-hearted about giving head. But being ordered brought out a whole new passion in her. She licked and sucked, deep throated and even gagged. She fluttered her tongue along the base and swirled the head in her mouth like a lollipop. It grew in her lips, large and hard. Throbbing with heat, it swelled and thrust. The hand on her head forced her down hard, more forceful than John had ever been before. It startled Heather into trying harder still. She could feel the drool drip down her chin; she struggled to stay up on her knees. The cock filled her so much she could barely breathe.

Finally it began to shutter (shudder). “Swallow every drop,” cooed John. She groaned. He knew she hated the salty brew. With a final quake the cock began to pump her mouth full. She had no choice but to swallow as there was literally no room to spit it out. Finally, he pulled out of her with a grunt. Hands gripped hers. “Good girl.”

She sagged and began to sink down to the ground. He yanked harshly at her. “I did not release you!” he commanded. Then gripping both arms back he clamped cuffs over them, folding them down to the small of her back. (Just a touch awkward here, seems like he move her arms to the small of her backs before he puts on the cuffs)

“Open wide.” He ordered with a tap on his finger to her lips. Heather’s jaw ached as she did as she was told. He slammed a green apple into her maw. “Mhhnm.” She groaned. He then pulled down the blindfold and tightened it over the apple…making a new gag out of the fruit.

She stared at him. How odd, (put this in quotes) she thought. He was fully dressed. He reached down and turned her head. Standing to her right her face was inches from a damp soft cock. She looked up in shock. Some strange man stood there. She had blown some stranger. She turned back to John and glared. What was going on! Maybe some more thought quotes here. "Who the hell is that? What's going on?" John smiled and took the contract from the coffee table.

“I decided to bring in the third party early my dear. Meet Max. Max just (delete)flew in for the weekend. He has been training new couples and new (delete) fem subs for years. I brought him over to teach us some things.”

Heather looked back at Max. He grinned and bent over, clipping a leash to her collar. “It’s going to be a long weekend.”

[robertpaullocke]

I enjoyed the story.