New Site Guidelines

[Arria]

I wish to say that I loved this site because it was the exact opposite of other forum sites I knew - for the fact that there was no constant bitching, fighting, attempts at making war or controlling/taking over the site.

To witness what is going on here lately makes me sad.

I know that having the ultimate responsibility of something (be it a website or a CEO post in a company) is strenuous because it is not possible to make everyone happy, and no matter how hard you try, there is always someone sawing at the legs of your chair. This is why I prefer to be an Assistant in real life.
Meaning I am grateful that someone else is doing that job here, and I do not envy them or think I would do it better.

As I was absent during the beginnings of the fights, I don´t know who did what or whose fault it is, and I will not take sides.

But I wish to say that a sentence like "No form of forum discussion will be allowed about it. (...) This issue is NOT open for public discussion." shocked me deeply, as it sounds very much like Drittes Reich to me. (I daresay I am allowed to use this comparison as I am German myself.)
MIND: I did not mean to citate without the context, but the context was as described not open to public discussion.
Neither is this issue the point I critisize!
INDEPENDENT of the issue at hand, a sentence like that ALWAYS gives me a very, very bad gut feeling.

I do appreciate the fact that the people in charge of this site are trying to cut down the bitching/bullshitting going on at present, but is there no other way than being totalitarian?

The danger I see is that the amount of things being forbidden to discuss might increase and increase and increase. And yes, I am scared of that.

Please clarify. Thank you very much in advance.

Kind regards
Arria

[annie]

But I wish to say that a sentence like "No form of forum discussion will be allowed about it. (...) This issue is NOT open for public discussion." shocked me deeply, as it sounds very much like Drittes Reich to me. (I daresay I am allowed to use this comparison as I am German myself.)
MIND: I did not mean to citate without the context, but the context was as described not open to public discussion.
Neither is this issue the point I critisize!
INDEPENDENT of the issue at hand, a sentence like that ALWAYS gives me a very, very bad gut feeling.

Arria,

Since you did not quote the exact post that was stated in I am assuming it was mine when I closed a thread recently. The ONLY reason no form of forum discussion is allowed on that one subject is because of the fact that it is a private matter between the person involved and the administration. The entire board rehashing it for public fodder will have no positive effect except to continue the trouble which surrounded it. If someone wishes to voice an opinion or concern about it they are more then welcome to do so in pm to either Torq or myself. Which was also clearly stated in that post.

Just as when an employee is let go from a company the supervisors should not discuss information surrounding the case as it is a personnel issue for the organization and personal matter for the individual involved. That is the same intent that is being carried to the forums. And although we all know "water cooler" gossip will transpire in a company (just as it does here on YIM), it does nothing but add to the hurt and anger on both sides to have it publicly posted or discussed just as it doesn't benefit a company to have a group meeting about a situation of this nature.

No one but the ones involved know the full story and even then there is the "what was meant when said/typed factor" and the "what the perception was of what was heard/read factor."

I do appreciate the fact that the people in charge of this site are trying to cut down the bitching/bullshitting going on at present, but is there no other way than being totalitarian?

I'm sorry you view that statement as totalitarian. That was certainly not how it was meant... we want feedback and discussion on topics throughout the forums. That comment was meant in direct relation to the one situation only because further discussion on it isn't necessary as the decision was regretfully made based on circumstance that will not and can not be shared.

[Arria]

Hello annie

Yes, I referred to your post.
I did not and will not ask you for any reason, as (but I wrote this quite clearly) that issue was not the point I wanted to make.
Once again, the whole thing happened while I was busy elsewhere.

I would have reacted upon that sort of sentence in no matter what context, but I thought I had made that clear as well.

I don´t take sides when I don´t know all facts involved, and I am a big girl who knows that taking sides does no one any good, especially not upon having little to no knowledge about the surrounding situation.

Thanks for the statement, and it does reassure me that forbidding discussion is apparently not going to become general practice here.

As I said, that idea scared me.

Kind regards
Arria

[thrall]

No one but the ones involved know the full story and even then there is the "what was meant when said/typed factor" and the "what the perception was of what was heard/read factor."

I am so happy to see that you understand this point Annie

Yes........this can be a very very bad thing, especially when both parties are listening/seeing/talking in the heat of the moment......

The fallout and consequences can be horrible.


.......i believe that i can say this with first hand knowledge, and i have paid a heave price, for misreading/misunderstanding what others are sending me in text. Without the visual and aural aids.......written words are sometimes misconstrued or misunderstood........and when read with emotion.......a total train wreck.........

[wingsofanangel]

perception is a funny thing....

I perceive that most people falsely perceive things.

-shakes head-

tis why there are so many misunderstandings I do think.

[thrall]

*hugs*

[Phantome]

I like the new guidelines, especially the revised outlinking rules. I'm sorry I missed the opportunity to add my input- just got married, and I've just been way too busy to visit any of my regular forums. Anyway, you all did a great job- I look forward to a much more calm, less dramatic, and all around peaceful forum. Keep it up!
-Phantome

[annie]

I like the new guidelines, especially the revised outlinking rules. I'm sorry I missed the opportunity to add my input- just got married, and I've just been way too busy to visit any of my regular forums. Anyway, you all did a great job- I look forward to a much more calm, less dramatic, and all around peaceful forum. Keep it up!
-Phantome

Thanks Phantome! That's what we would like as well!

[Mishka]

Congrats on your wedding, Phantome.

[Arria]

I read the new guidelines and wish to say I think them well put and understandably written.

Congratulations to all involved. It must have been one hell of a job.

[Phantome]

Thanks, Mishka.
-Phan