What do you find humiliating?

[tessa]

I had an epiphany while addressing this topic on another board...

The first part is that humiliation is to bondage/discipline/impact play as mental domination is to physical domination.

The second part is that humiliation has the same root meaning as humility... which is to be humble. It is the ultimate act of mental submission to be humbled before your dominant.

Some doms can do that with positions (such as Russell and myself) and some do that with harsh words, titles, and demeaning tasks. Some subs find the simple act of being put across the knee to be extremely humiliating. Some by writing on their bodies.

We all have our own idea of what is and isn't humiliating, but humiliation play is no more and no less than another means to the same end.

There are many paths and each journey is worthy of our attention.

~stands and applauds~ Brilliant, Mr. Oz.

[Ozme52]

tessa,

What can I ask of you that you would find humbling? *weg*

[GreyJack]

Humiliating? Um, the public behavior of some of the members of my species and gender. I mean, come on, people, you're embarassing!

[Logic1]

too true GJ. I could add people of the same species but a different gender too though.

[Playfulsub]

...But nothing gets me going faster than Master weaving his fingers into my hair, pulling my head back and, right in my face saying "awww is my little slut horny?" mmmmmmmm....

*goes off dreamily*

I find that highly arousing! How lucky you are. :-)

[subserviant]

woderful would love to have a Master that would humiliate me in public like Sir Russell di to his slave

[His_blizzard]

Pardon me for disagreeing Sir Russell, but I don't think that constitutes humiliation. Its more along the lines of...oh I don't know what, but not humilitation...

Pure submissive bliss, perhaps? Sigh..............

[Xan_in_chains]

Um... for me, I'd say anything is ok physically more or less. I think there's a line for me with things that I've heard some people like, like taking a cheese-grater to the genitals of another. That, I think, is something I'd like left to the cast of Hostel. But someone made a mention of face-slapping/punching. I'd be totally happy with that if I knew it was making my Dom/me happy. Likewise the deep-throating thing would be fine. Verbal though, is a different matter. As long as it was play, calling me pathetic, small, a slut, what ever, is ok. In fact, being called little makes me feel safe as it emphasises the size of the Top which to me infers power and thus protection. Areas that I'd find uncomfortably humiliating would primarily concern my weight, and my appearance. Being called fat, or ugly. Also, demeaning sexual references that play on my insecurities would make me sad. I think just like anything else, anything that pushes buttons become no less sensitive in context.

[subserviant]

erotic humiliation sitting in a public place , bar or resteruant being told to take panties off giving them to the Master then told to take bra off and repeat then exposing breasts to Him then standing and discretly pulling skirt up to expose the rest , a real turn on

[subserviant]

being in apublic place , bar cafe being told byMaster to remove bra then exposing breasts to Him, then being told to remove panties standing discretly pulling skirt up exposing myself to him a real turn on

[cadence]

Ummmm - the difference between embarassment and humiliation is this - I can tell you that humiliation arouses me, but I'm too embarrassed to tell you what type of humiliation arouses me. *giggles

I find now that the small things that used to be humiliating are now a common need for me.

The more I dwelve into humiliation, the more I have to push a little further to experience it.

I may be hijacking just a bit, but I have been thinking about this since my last experience and this statement made me think about it even more.

While I know that humiliation is something that will be embarassing and uncomfortable; when does it really cross the line, into dangerous territory?

I had been tasked recently and had pushed my boundries of humiliation.
I enjoyed doing it, and was aroused by the whole thing, I just couldn't get my mind to go into a place that was comfortable after the fact.
It is not that I feel badly, it is the fact that I was humiliated, I enjoyed it, but I refuse to now acknowledge that I enjoyed it. I can't seem to convince my brain that I enjoyed it.

Did I cross a line? Or is it just something that happens every so often.

I'll give an example to maybe clarify as to what I am saying.

I love face spitting, do it to me and my first reaction is what the hell just happened?, then I become more excited that it just did happen, after the fact, I think why did I just get excited over what happened, it was wrong and degrading. I feel bad for doing something so taboo, but I know I'll want it again.

[Sir_Russell]

cadence,

You ask or pose an intriguing problem. My answer isn't going to help much.

Why worry about it, if it feels good then great.

Why do we go to scary movies, pay good money to be scared or ride huge roller coaster also for money. I know if it thrills me I will be back.

LOL I have done things with subs that they needed that didn't appeal to me but their reactions made it worth my effort and time.

[jeanne]

I have done things with subs that they needed that didn't appeal to me but their reactions made it worth my effort and time.

That's so perfect. The word "needed" makes it just...perfect. And your desire for the reaction...even more perfect.

(Is it obvious that I'm at a loss for words?)

Perfectly speechless,
jeanne

[cadence]

cadence,

You ask or pose an intriguing problem. My answer isn't going to help much.

Why worry about it, if it feels good then great.

Why do we go to scary movies, pay good money to be scared or ride huge roller coaster also for money. I know if it thrills me I will be back.

LOL I have done things with subs that they needed that didn't appeal to me but their reactions made it worth my effort and time.

Thanks Sir Russel, but therein lies my problem, I like it, I thrive on it, I need it, it is the after effects, not really a sub drop, but more of a guilty concience that I enjoyed something that was taboo, I then move into a bad mindset, swearing that I will never visit that task again, but secretly hoping to do it again.
I just can't figure out how to let my mind accept the fact that some things that are humiliating can be good.

[Indigo girl]

I love being humiliated. I love slapping on the face, breasts and pussy. Face spitting I find incredibly erotic. Name calling is also good. Nothing turns me on more than being called a pathetic slut while my hair is being pulled and my face slapped and being forced to gag, yum!

[likes_it_rough]

I've had to have toy insinde of me out in public in which i had to hold it there without dropping it.Because if i drop i would have beem so humiliated and this didn't make walking very easy.

[DJ_dave]

On another site I read a post where it was discussed that many submissives who enjoy humiliation didn't particularly find that verbal humilation pushed their buttons so to speak. I'd be interested to hear from those who enjoy this type of play what they find to be humilating, be it verbal or physical.

Talking from experience I find that when my mistress wanted to humiliate me she would do it in such a way that I would not feel more exposed and vulnerable than ever but also more turned on than ever too. She would seduce me for what seemed like an eternity then get me play with her in return and after she had come, I was alowed to masturbate infront of her whilst she used her Hitachi Magic wand. This may not sound too bad but being in front of your mistress using a magic wand and wanting some contact more than ever is unbearable. Looking at her as she had yet another orgasm.

Then again she would tell me to ask permission to come then deny my request so as I was forced to stop at the very edge.

So in respect to the question I think physical and verbal humilition are tools used in an alarmingly effective way.

[cadence]

I think that trying to explain why you enjoy being humiliated is very difficult to do.
Everyone has a different view and idea as to what it means to them, and even then it is still hard to explain the rush you feel and why you feel it.

Humiliation to me is a rush that I am addicted to, and most times it is when I feel completely submissive, because I am pushing the boundries of my mind and completely surrending to it. I am pushing my mind to go to a place that is uncomfortable but I am doing it for him, because he enjoys watching me squirm.
I am no longer his submissive, but a toy to use in whatever manner he sees fit, that to me is a rush in itself.
I love verbal humiliation, because I enjoy being taken to that darker place and feel that rush of adrenalin. I can be called a whore, a cunt or any other derogatory term even in a normal conversation, and it makes it all the more exciting. I feel special and complete.


There is a difference though between being humiliated and being degraded. If you end up feeling worthless and start losing your self esteem, then you are not doing something right at all. Something that I have to work on sometimes, it may not always be an easy thing to do.

Even though you are being humiliated and embarassed to a degree, humiliation can be one of those highly erotic moments that is both taboo and exciting.

[cbtme2]

I am a straight male and love the idea of being bound by a mistress and forced to orally service men and women at a party in front of everyone..... The humiliation in this is being forced to suck men mainly but also cleaning the genitles of either sex after they have had sex...

[Bears2009]

to have someone to strip me and spank me for my mstress

[yama]

Thanks for bringing this excellent old thread to top, dear cbtme2, i would have never found it without you, and i find it exciting. I am surprised how various our emotions are, someone feeling no humiliation at all where i find strong humiliation. A nice gentleman who was torturing me a bit online said that i was a little pain slut, because i always thanked him for the pain he was inflicting on me. Well, i think i am rather a little humiliation slut. My thanking him was self-humiliation. Even when posting on a thread like this i feel a craving to go around on my knees and kiss everyone's feet. I have this feeling now.

My dominant girlfriend has a trick which i feel extremely humiliating. She employs it very rarely as a surprise. For example, she ties me for whipping and says: "You get four lashes, honey." After enduring the fourth one, when i expect to be released, she continues and gives me seven altogether. (Or more.) "I didn't say you wouldn't get more, dear." I am strongly aroused by that. The feeling of being exposed to her whim, being completey at her mercy, not even knowing how many more strokes i will get, is a very deep humiliation for me, and makes me kiss passionately the whip, her hand and her feet when it is over. Sometimes it gives me an orgasm.

Thank you for your kind attention.

[anotherguyinuniform]

In fantasy, I like the concept of humiliation. Be it verbal or physical.
I especially get aroused from things I would consider to be very embarassing or gross in real life. I like it that I would be helpless to do anything about it.

One of my fantasies would be being used as a footstool by a domme as she casually talked to another person sitting next to her on the sofa. They would talk about me as if I wasn't there. I would be all gagged and plugged both ways. Also just to be humiliated I would be forced to clean the domme's feet with my tongue as I would be kneeling infront of her. The things I mention in this fantasy, for me, are a few of the most humiliating things I can think of.

LOVE your style! How intriguing!!!!

[scavanger]

personally I have always found that the physical humiliation that I would recieve has been more "pleasurable" then the verbal, however that is not to say the verbal humiliation hasn't been pleasurable, just slightly less so.

[BrightFyrefly]

I have found...especially recently, that while I thought I had no pride, humiliation is very interesting, as is my definition of punishment. Some things that others find humiliating I don't, such as facials or having my own cum wiped on my face. It doesn't turn me on, but I don't find it humiliating.

Other things, like trying to speak as my Master requests while sucking him, I have to steel my spine and do, because it's something that he enjoys. At first it was a little hard because...well, I'm not really sure why. Begging was another thing that was hard for me. It has taken me a little bit to understand that it isn't the physical humiliation that I have any sort of issues with, it's all mental.

My Master is very good at mental humiliation...and sometimes, I know that he wants me to fail, so that he can punish me. I'm learning, as quickly as I can, to make my mind as willing to the mental submission and power play as my body is willing to the physical.

And I am slowly getting accustomed and starting to enjoy the mental games. I think it just takes longer to get my mind to accept the mental slavery.

[openlyrefined]

I originally thought it was the humiliation that I loved so much, but recently discovered that I prefer sexual degradation to humiliation.

What I like about both is that we (I) have to be consciously aware that I am going against what I have been taught as 'proper' or ideal behavior & succumb to His power.

It's not that I like the attention...quite the opposite, actually. I hate people looking at me, so this is absolutely mortifying for me (at the time) but after i feel dirty & naughty & proud that I did it because he told me to, despite my every urge not to.

here is an excellent suggestion given to me from one of my threads looking for the same information:

Maybe this is over simplistic but who says they have to know you two are together? The task is created (whatever it may be), you both go to the same public spot, he enters first and orders/browses/etc., you enter 5 minutes later, perform the task, get the humiliation and leave, he waits another 5 minutes (and gets to hear all of the "OMG I can't believe she did that!" comments) while you wait in the car (which i would think could add to the embarrassment in and of itself) and then he joins you and you leave.

this is brilliant, because you can't pretend like no one noticed & it also takes more thought. (than being made to wet self in public, wear short skirts then bend over, wearing a vibrator in public etc.)

anyway - good luck!
~openlyrefined

[lord_love]

it depends on the situation n also the sub, some subs get humiliated by words alone n others in what context the verbal abuse is but others get aroused by the same words n a few others i know find it humliating to do as ordered in front of others or in public, so i think it varies but its fun..

[subdude05]

mmh my favorite subject, at the moment my mistress and i are experimenting with humiliation and degridation, mostly phisical as we both enjoy it more that way, i really enjoy sucking mistresses strap on, licking her thigh high pvc boots, butt pluggs, having words like Cum Slut, Whore, Slave Boy wrtiien in lipstick on my body. Recently we have been having fun stuffing my mouth with rubber gloves (before and after various uses) and offcuts of rubber in my mouth and butting the bitt gag in, that great fun.:

Although i do like the soud of this, again as a straight male.

I am a straight male and love the idea of being bound by a mistress and forced to orally service men and women at a party in front of everyone..... The humiliation in this is being forced to suck men mainly but also cleaning the genitles of either sex after they have had sex...

[Spankmeplease2009]

Well it depends. If it is a "good" humiliation it depends on what spanking position I am in. I have always found the diaper position...where you lay on your back and put your legs behind your head, to be a humiliating position. Anything CBT is also humiliating. Really, anywhere where my crotch is completely exposed and on display is humiliating but a kind that I really enjoy.

Bad humiliation would be verbal stuff. I don't really like being insulted constantly and I don't like to be spit on and stuff. I don't mind being called certain things but I HATE being yelled at. Yelling is a huge turn off for me.

[pantiwaste]

The most simple, straight activity can carry powerful erotic overtones. I read of a female submissive given a task. Go to the grocery, purchase the largest cucumber she could find, a roll of duct tape, and a bottle of personal lubricant. The check-out was crucial. The cashier must be either a younger male, or a matronly female. It was that simple yet profound.
There would be an obvious assumption. It is the public exposure, an intimate revelation…especially when approached directly without explanation or comment on usage. Public exposure of erotic intimacies, especially if the submissive is required to play straight, is very erotic.
For a male submissive it could easily be a trip to the intimate apparel section of a store and the purchase of those panties and nylons the would just happen to fit. The exposure of the socially effeminate stereotype is a truly erotic humiliation.

[wolfpup]

I think I would find physical humiliation the worst, expecially since I"m like super self consious