Advice for a story ending...

[wistan]

I have a story and I'm in two minds about the ending...

It's an F/m story which concerns a woman who goes out to kidnap a man and do various nasty things to him.

At the moment, I have a surprise twist in the ending - it turns out the man in question is her husband, and they're playing out a scene. He's not really subby as such, but plays this game with his wife now and again because he knows how much she needs it.

Now, my dilemma is this. I like the twist, because it throws the preceeding story into a whole new light. It gives the victim an actual character, something he lacked previously, and it makes what had been a rather surreal story a more grounded, believable and character-driven affair.

On the other hand, it also softens the story somewhat. What had been a really pretty brutal abduction and repeated rape now becomes two consenting adults having fun. I'm thinking it might be better to have it as a more hard edged story where she was just what she seemed - in fact I was even contemplating having her snuff him at the end.

Any opinions?

Oh, and what would the story codes on something like that be? Consensual or non consensual? Either code would be a bit misleading for the reader... put both perhaps?

[Dr Mabeuse]

That first ending you mentioned--revealing some secret that throws the rest of the story into a new light--is what's known as an "O. Henry ending", because that was the writer O. Henry's specialty: that surprise juke at the end, like the punchline of a joke. A lot of short story writers now assume that a story has to have that kind of ending to be considered good, but that's not the case.

The situation you describe, where there's a rape or abduction or some wild sex that turns out to be not what it seems, is so common in porn as to be pretty much of a cliche--that "Oh, it was her husband all the time!" business--and, like you say, that kind of ending gives the story a satusfying feel, but it ultimately defuses or destroys a lot of the erotic heat as we find out that what we thought was happening wasn't ot at all: it was just two lovebirds playing around.

The alternative is to go with the story as written and let the sex act itself serve as the dramatic bones of the tale. That takes more courage on the author's part, but it's ultimately more honest too, I think, and it makes the sex hotter. Since most people are here for the sex and not the literary value, I'd stick with what you have and forget the surprise O. Henry ending. Let the sex speak for itself.

My opinion only, of course.

[wistan]

That first ending you mentioned--revealing some secret that throws the rest of the story into a new light--is what's known as an "O. Henry ending", because that was the writer O. Henry's specialty: that surprise juke at the end, like the punchline of a joke. A lot of short story writers now assume that a story has to have that kind of ending to be considered good, but that's not the case.

The situation you describe, where there's a rape or abduction or some wild sex that turns out to be not what it seems, is so common in porn as to be pretty much of a cliche--that "Oh, it was her husband all the time!" business--and, like you say, that kind of ending gives the story a satusfying feel, but it ultimately defuses or destroys a lot of the erotic heat as we find out that what we thought was happening wasn't ot at all: it was just two lovebirds playing around.

The alternative is to go with the story as written and let the sex act itself serve as the dramatic bones of the tale. That takes more courage on the author's part, but it's ultimately more honest too, I think, and it makes the sex hotter. Since most people are here for the sex and not the literary value, I'd stick with what you have and forget the surprise O. Henry ending. Let the sex speak for itself.

My opinion only, of course.

Interesting take. My first instinct was to keep the twist, but the more I think it over the more I think you might be right. It may give the story a more honest feel to stick to my guns, so to speak. And my first story was somewhat romantic in nature as well, so it might be a nice change to go with a harder edge this time.

Thanks for the input.

[Ozme52]

Heh heh... my two cents worth.

Now if you could figure out a way for it to be a mistake on the part of the abductor and the abductee turned out to NOT be her/the/a husband she was expecting.....

[Rosie]

What about a double twist? It turns out to be the husband - but just as you're thinking 'Oh yes…' it's revealed that they are now no longer a couple and that he doesn't want to play?

[wistan]

Interesting ideas, but not really possible the way it is written now I'm afraid.

[Dr Mabeuse]

A writer friend of mine has what he calls the Universal All-Purpose ending:

And then they all died in the quicksand.

You don't know how many times I've been tempted to use it.

[adeadeasyone]

Wistan, perhaps have it building up towards something happening at midnight (or some other time) and have it that at midnight he has to be freed and that it's all a pre-arranged role-play date...

...Or have it that her husband loves all the brutal stuff but seems reluctant this time...at the end it could be revealed she's accidentally kidnapped the guys twin brother.

Sorry if these are too corny.

:

[Nikita]

A writer friend of mine has what he calls the Universal All-Purpose ending:

And then they all died in the quicksand.

You don't know how many times I've been tempted to use it.

That is a great one. Wonder how it works in posts and threads?

[Ozme52]

A writer friend of mine has what he calls the Universal All-Purpose ending:

And then they all died in the quicksand.

You don't know how many times I've been tempted to use it.

My research tells me that can only be a literary death. Quicksand is rarely fatal to a human being because it's rarely deep enough and we easily float in it...


...but if the room were locked from the inside..... LOL

[wistan]

I mulled it over a lot, and eventually wrote about five different endings! In the end I decided just to leave it open, with my kidnapper mulling the idea that she was going to do more to her victim tomorrow. I thought it was a bit more subtle and horrific, suggesting that she's just going to keep him there indefinitely, inflicting day upon day of torture on him...

Anyway, if anybody is interested it's just been submitted and should appear shortly. It's called "The Prey".