Starting and Stopping Playtime

[PrincessTigerLily]

I have recently admitted to my fiance that I really like being submissive. He loves being my Dom so far but we are having some logistical problems such as how to clearly define when we are in our roles and when we are stopping. Any suggestions?

[Sir_Russell]

A set of tenets that give you directions on how to deal with normal things in a way he wants you to is a good start. I have ones that say I have no right or say in her career and that family all ways comes first.

He should be thinking of tasks that you can do when away from him that will keep him on your mind and your body at sensual alert status.

[Warbaby1943]

I have recently admitted to my fiance that I really like being submissive. He loves being my Dom so far but we are having some logistical problems such as how to clearly define when we are in our roles and when we are stopping. Any suggestions?

Don't stop. Stay in the submissive roll all the time.

[delish]

Initially, when my husband would call me by a specific name- well it changed with time, but when the name came up, it meant he wanted me to submit. (For the curious, I was his pet, to begin with. I'm sure you can all imagine subsequent names. )

It also wasn't viable for us to be completely in those roles at all times. We're still trying to navigate that, as we both have limitations that require constant adjustment- if I'm particularly depressed, or he's in a lot of pain, we're not going to be able to share that dynamic as much. Then again, I think... well, I could probably use my own thread to discuss that stuff. Maybe I will...

[Tojo]

First up, welcome

As far as starting playtime goes, my favourite is 'Would you like to put your collar on for me please?'

It also makes sense to sit down together & define what you both want, a written contract which can be updated as required can be good.

Most couples seem to communicate far too little, from what I've seen. Unless you both state what you want from this, & what you don't want, it's a trial & error situation.

I like to ask if there's any questions or comments before saying 'you are now free to do as you wish' after a play/training session.

A D/s experience can be very emotional & draining- whether online or in person. It's important to start slowly, & make sure the sub is cared for afterwards.