Is cyber cheating

[ThisYouWillDo]

so how would all them doms and subs out there feel if they found emails letters and pics or what ever of there vanilla partners cybering because they dont feel loved understood or enuff time has been spent with them ? people think about life for them

I'd think, Aha! There's hope ...

TYWD

[tessa]

Everyone has differing opinions and they are strewn all throughout this forum. A search on cheating may turn up some interesting posts.

And too many of them, at that. They should be combined into one big ol' cheating thread, call it the 'Blame Game'.

so how would all them doms and subs out there feel if they found emails letters and pics or what ever of there vanilla partners cybering

I'd think, Aha! There's hope ...

Brilliantly stated, TYWD.

[Mr.J]

lol yes a dom would love to find out there is shit going on behind there back they have no control over

[sidhewolf]

Of course it is always possible to change one´s mind, people develop, people do change over time.
If both partners know what is going on, I think there will be no problem unless one of the parties think the "online other" starts to get more priority/affection/attention/time than the real life partner.

I think real life should always have priority. Hubby allows me to play online, but I am not to wear anybody´s online collar or obey orders that go deeper than what is possible during an online scene. He is the only one to whose will I will (and am allowed to) submit, and that´s fine with me, I would not want it any other way; and I am deeply grateful that he puts no more restrictions on me. After all, it´s him who gets the benefits in all ways *laughs*.
Should it ever happen that he fears something in here is going to deep and he wants me to stop it, I would do so - I might not be overly happy about it, but I will obey.
Again, real life always should have priority - in my opinion.

About what Isabelle90 said about a partner trying to use online world issues to gain custody of a child - I have known this to happen to an acquaintance, and she was only too lucky as the judge said he knew that page (another forum page) as well, and he did not see what that had to to with her abilities as a mother. So she did not have to suffer any consequences.
Especially regarding this issue I cannot emphasize enough how important it is for parents to keep parts of the lifestyle away from their children - the parts that might confuse, scare, or shock them. The parents among you might know that the idea of one´s parents having vanilla sex is weird enough at a certain age - let alone anything kinky or violent!

Another usefull to the original poster thought line I think Arria. PPL do "develop" or Grow over Time. So another aspect of this dilemma *could be* that the online activities could turn into RT or ITF Relationship(s). IF this happens is the Person or the PPL that are connected to the Cyber relator willing or interested in expanding their Relationship to include some else? Or possibly be replaced by them? Something that is always a risk in opening a Relationship to more than 2 PPL.

There are always PPL looking for someone for themselves online, just as in RT. And many of these don't give a care that the person they are talking/Cybering with is Already in a Relationship. This is so common that in Polyville there is a term for these....we call these Cowboys or Cowgirls. ie Those who would cut a filly or colt from the herd.

Something to also consider when considering Accepting a Partner who is into Cyber Relating I think.

Respectfully~SidheWolf

[sidhewolf]

so how would all them doms and subs out there feel if they found emails letters and pics or what ever of there vanilla partners cybering because they dont feel loved understood or enuff time has been spent with them ? people think about life for them

I'd Hope they would Realize they had reaped what they had sewn?....pehaps a bit to late depending?....but none the less. There is Lessons in everything for those willing to Learn isn't there?

Vanilla Partner's, LifeStyle Partner's, whatever Style Partner's...if one does not give enough to that Relationship esp because one is involved in other O/L or RT ITF Relationship's, one WILL eventually lose That Relationship. A consequence of irresponsibility I believe. If one cannot Manage more than one Relationship successfully, perhaps it's a good idea not to have or create more than one can Manage Time and Quality for?

Everyone makes their Choices. Even not Choosing is a Choice.

Respectfully~SidheWolf

[sidhewolf]

lol yes a dom would love to find out there is shit going on behind there back they have no control over

<G> Not for point of argument....but a Dom who ignores Their Responsibility and pushes a Sub or Slave to meet their own needs elsewhere has made that Choice conciously or not. When a Dom abdicates Their Throne the Subjects will scatter seeking One to Take it.

Respectfully~SidheWolf

[Wedjat]

I think D and sidhewolf have made some good points. I got the feeling reading this that some tried to kind of gloss over some of D's comments - forgive me if I have misinterpreted what was said, but I'm glad that someone expanded on what D originally brought up. I know ALL relationships take care and attention by both parties.

One of my vanilla sisters and her husband had a problem a while back. She has medical issues that make the physical acts of even vanilla sex difficult (back and neck issues) and she found out he was cybering and getting kind of serious with a lady online. She was devastated, and he felt like shit when he realized how it had made her feel. In this case it wasn't even the physical act (the online lady in question lived in another country), but the emotional hurt it caused. So, yeah, cyber CAN feel like cheating. The sad thing is, I can see both sides of their issue too - he obviously had issues that she couldn't meet and they were drifting apart. The upside - they've come through it and have gotten closer for it, but it wasn't easy. Now if they only had insurance that would cover the chronic pain in her back. I know, it's only one example,but I figured it was worth mentioning.

[Ozme52]

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Ditto

[Sir Robert]

Please respond your opinion on cyber...

Many times cyber relationships become very close and intimate. Cyber mates share their darkest secrets and often totally open and participate in spectacular sexual fantasies. I agree that if done outside of your normal relationship it is cheating. However that being said I love it.....

[Tojo]

I find it interesting that people have such heated opinions & emotions about a topic like cyber cheating... makes you wonder about everyone's life experiences & current relationships... hmmmm

Oh I don't find it suprising- if you're in an exclusive relationship, surely you don't want your partner to be sharing passion with others behind your back in any way?

[ThisYouWillDo]

Oh I don't find it suprising- if you're in an exclusive relationship, surely you don't want your partner to be sharing passion with others behind your back in any way?

No - but I can

[Ozme52]

Oh I don't find it suprising- if you're in an exclusive relationship, surely you don't want your partner to be sharing passion with others behind your back in any way?

Why not? It steals nothing from me.

It's not like there's a limited supply and any given elsewhere leaves less for me.