Guess we have no true Critic's here

[Rabbit1]

Or when asked for an opinion you just can't get one---lol

I am trying to get a prespective from the Critic's on this story --so far with zero success ---Did anyone here besides me read this story?

http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/sh...8563#post58563

[Nikita]

Sorry for the delayed reply, but I've read the story, and have been a little too tied up (*grin*) to give an opinion

I write stories so, I look at a lot of different elements when I review them. To be honest, F/f is a category I usually skip, but I read this one because of Rabbit's post. The categories of stories I review are mostly a matter of taste or recommendation.

The first things I noted were the keywords in the title, Slave Girls in Bondage and the synopsis. IMO, those two things account for the number of readers who have visited the story. Out of 40,4378 visits to the story, 25 gave reviews and the weighted average is 8/10. The post date of the story, 2001, is a significant factor in the number of readers who have visited the story. There is no way of telling if all of those 'readers' read the story, but they visited it.

I look at what was said about the story. If the score was very low, I check the reviewer's track record to see if they consistently leave low scores, what stories they've given high scores to, etc. This information serves to consider or discount their opinion. I do the same thing for the high scorer.

However, when there is a cluster of scores in the same neighborhood, and I'm familiar with their previous reviews, I read the story with their feedback in mind. That may or may not be fair, but that is what I do and most times, I agree with the cluster. There was a cluster of such reviewers in this story.

Story review: I'm drawn to the story because despite the obvious flaws that could easily be addressed, it is the plot, creativity in the telling of it, and the great promise it has. To break down to the specifics, the characters, Amazons, read dominant, the bondage, and the heat draw the reader in the beginning chapters, but the story fizzles out later.

I would give it an 8 out of 10 also.

[Tojo]

I had a look, but couldn't get into it. I found it didn't 'flow' for me, the lines seemed to kind of 'stick', the words didn't seem quite right.

I think with an edit it would be a good story, but I couldn't read past the first couple of pages.

Of course I'm a bit jaded with stories & pics these days, both have to really grab me to get much of a look.

I've also been helping one of my girls out on a book she's writing- she writes & I look for holes.
Her writing just blows me away, for someone so young she's incredible.

Just my opinion, I'm no writer...

Tojo

[orchid]

i agree with Tojo. i also tried to read this story but i couldn't get into it and stopped after only the first few paragraphs. something about it just didn't grab my attention and draw me in - though i can not say why not...like nikita, i tend to stay away from girl on girl and Femdom stories, they just don't interest me much. Maybe that's why.

[Ozme52]

I sent my review to you in a PM.

[Rabbit1]

I sent my review to you in a PM.

and I fould it quite enlightening ----look this is to help other writers find out what the Critic's like and dislike ---I chose this story at random --and will do others ---Please just post honest opinions---Without getting personal like calling the author names----Any author deserves some respect for putting their work on public display ----

but this one is kind of funny in that other members have made comments of the quality of the stories not measuring up to the old days---this one is from the old days

My opinion was I did not see how it rated so high in popularity

[Ozme52]

Okay, here goes. I preface all the following remarks with... Rabbit saw it first and said to post it.
------------------------------------
It's over 85 chapters. I haven't finished it yet. LOL

But... my first impressions are as follows.

It sets a scene of modern society but old technology. No set up as to how or why people have chosen to live this way... other than an excuse to write a story about ponygirls (at least initially.)

It's one thing to be brief in a short story, maybe even for a novella... but if you intend to write 85+ chapters, spend a little time setting up the scene.

It jumps to action almost immediately. No suspense, no sense of impending peril. In fact, any opportunity for suspense was thrown right out the window... We know exactly that the blond ponygirl that looks like Andrea had was Andrea's predessesor, so we know exactly what is about to happen to Andrea.

Andrea's stated reason for toying with the ponygirls is to cause them pleasure and the ponygirls expect it. I'm already becoming bored.

Andrea, captured before the first chapter is half over. A new cast of characters to figure out. A lot of slapping.

The cliffhanger? "Let the games begin." Yawn.

------------------------

Sorry, I don't see what warrants 400,000+ visits... save the large number of chapters. And frankly, for as long ago as it was started, that's not really all that much.

Stories submitted just yesterday already have 1300 to 4000+ visitors. A far higher daily average.

Chapter 2 had a lot of symmetry:

"Position." Whop! "Position!" Whop! "Position." Whop!
"Position." Whop! "Position!" Whop! "Position." Whop!
"Position." Whop! "Position!" Whop! "Position." Whop!
"Position." Whop! "Position!" Whop! "Position." Whop!

I skipped around a bit. I know it's meant to be an F/f+ story.... but where are the men? Not even one I've found in any capacity.

--------------------

I can be a supportive critic... but this one... I can't understand the rave reviews.

[Tojo]

See for me that's the thing with being a critic, I don't mind sending an email to someone & saying 'great story', but I hate the thought of picking one to pieces. Geez I get into enough trouble with my girl & her book!

Oh & it's not a bondage story either she's writing, but a fantasy adventure.

Tojo

[Nikita]

and I fould it quite enlightening ----look this is to help other writers find out what the Critic's like and dislike ---I chose this story at random --and will do others ---Please just post honest opinions---Without getting personal like calling the author names----Any author deserves some respect for putting their work on public display ----

but this one is kind of funny in that other members have made comments of the quality of the stories not measuring up to the old days---this one is from the old days

My opinion was I did not see how it rated so high in popularity

Tastes and opinions are relative and subjective.

[Ozme52]

Which is why I sent it to Rabbit first, but he said go for it.

It's not an attack on the author and says something about the story's construction. But like all criticisms, it's just an opinion.

Oh well, I expect to get a bit beaten up for this. All comments will be passed onto Rabbit... so he can share in my infamy.

[H Dean]

I checked out the story a long time ago after clicking on the overal popular link. I was less than excited at the story codes and even less so when I read the story. To be fair, I don't remember much of it. I only remember that I was bored in a very short time.

I tend to think that it gets more hits now than it would if it were not on the overall popular top. I think it gets a lot of curiosity hits. That's why I checked it out. I didn't stay with it for long, though.

[H Dean]

A quick addition: Some of the story counters do not work. It is likely that a lot of stories that are popular are not getting their true popularity recorded. That can alter the overall popularity drastically - especially if that tale has a story counter that works - or maybe one that gets hits from other stories.

[Nikita]

Which is why I sent it to Rabbit first, but he said go for it.

It's not an attack on the author and says something about the story's construction. But like all criticisms, it's just an opinion.

Oh well, I expect to get a bit beaten up for this. All comments will be passed onto Rabbit... so he can share in my infamy.

Who beat you up? Oz...all of those who review will get some unhappy authors and they let us know it, but don't let that stop you from voicing your opinion. And I'm glad Rabbit had you post your opinion. You know the phrase about opinions, don't you? *wink

[Rabbit1]

As you all know I am plain spoken ---I do not mind voicing my opinion but I will not flame or put down anyone ----and that is the purpose of this thread for any and all opinions of the story not the author----I give this author the same respect I give any ----he produced work and was not afraid to have it published for all to see. To me that earns him some respect ---

[Ozme52]

Who beat you up? Oz...all of those who review will get some unhappy authors and they let us know it, but don't let that stop you from voicing your opinion. And I'm glad Rabbit had you post your opinion. You know the phrase about opinions, don't you? *wink

No one beat me up... I'm being pre-defensive I guess, because I know it's not the typical rah-rah type of critique.

Phrase about opinions? Is it anything like assumuptions... because I can tell you now... mine smells like a

Thanks for the support Nikita.