Transitioning from online to real life

[thepast]

This thread is the place to discuss transitioning from online to real life BDSM.

Feel free to discuss the hazards, rewards, personal stories or anything else you wish about transitioning from online to real life BDSM.

[mart64]

Ok, first post but something important to me...

My own first experience with a submissive girl was gentle and fun, but we were already at the stage in our relationship where we were talking about stuff all the time. We were able to discuss and maintain a dialogue while we played pretty much all through. It guided me to what got to her most, and kept me away from causing her more pain than she was up for. I would insist that anyone I bottomed for would show me the exact same consideration.

Later on, a friend of mine who is a real life domme told me that we had got it right. The very first thing a new domme / subbie paring should be doing is talking a lot and this should really be something that is continued all the time, especially among the inexperienced. She told me that newbie subbies often have no idea what they really want but are far too trusting of the dominant / top. We discussed in detail the concept of safe, sane and consensual play that should be a major part of any play and she was clear on the need for participants to understand the responsibility they have. She told me scary stories of subs zoning out during scenes and really needing rescue not more flogging, scary rope play problems that can go so far as killing people as well as people who just don't know when to say stop (or the agreed safe word).

Really I guess this means that we need to educate ourselves on the details as much as work on playing on our kinks! I found a great book on rope play showing what feels good and looks great without causing loss of limbs and suffocation, and in fact there is a wealth of good info out there.

I guess this is the boring stuff, but I'm also sure that it is really important to make sure we look out for ourselves.

Mart...

[gverns]

I look at many restraint toy online and really have no idea how comfortable they actually are. I've tried many restrained positions and know that some seem erotic but are just too uncomfortable to stay for long. self tests are important to me. A few I worked into and had to stop because I could tell it was going to be wAy to painful. I stay away from whipping,,, people just get carried away with excitement. Until I've tried something with someone new, I would not go for full restraints. that one hand needs to be free.