quick question: real life or online?

[bambina]

I don't have any experience in this lifestyle but I'd like some. Where is the best place to start? Online or real life?

[amosse85]

Speaking as a fellow newbie (but on the dom side), it seems like it'd be best to start online and progress from there. That way if things don't work out you can drop the whole thing before it gets too serious.

[sisterhoney61 {RW}]

I started out online, which progressed to real. I was with my Master online for a year before W/we met IRL. You can get very close to someone when you are chatting with Him for 7 or so hours a day every day for a year.

[yourlilslave86]

do a lot of research before you commit to doing real life...you dont want to walk into a RT relationship and end up hurt a lot. Take your time do your research and maybe try out online first.

[DowntownAmber]

There are pros and cons to both. It is certainly easier to find someone online. Websites such as this one allow you to hop right into a pool of fellow kinksters, as oppposed to the good ol' fashioned approach of finding a local munch group or wandering into a club and hoping you Dom-dar is working. If you are cautious or perhaps intimidated a little, online also offers a nice buffer behind which to get to know a person at your own pace. On the other hand, if real life interaction is your goal then you have to realize that a person you have good chemistry with over the computer may completely fail to flip your switch in the flesh. Perhaps you'd rather know that sooner rather than after a good few months of time comsuming emails an online tasking.

Whatever you do, I do recommend reasearching and learning all you can before you jump into anything, online or real life. Talk to lots of Doms, talk to lots of subs, and let yourself learn the Lifestyle from the group and establish your own perspective before you let any one single person be your guide and your insight into BDSM.

Best of luck.

[bambina]

Thanks. I guess I have my answer. All 4 of you gave good advice. I'm going to try online first.

[Ragoczy]

There are pros and cons to both. It is certainly easier to find someone online. Websites such as this one allow you to hop right into a pool of fellow kinksters, as oppposed to the good ol' fashioned approach of finding a local munch group or wandering into a club and hoping you Dom-dar is working. If you are cautious or perhaps intimidated a little, online also offers a nice buffer behind which to get to know a person at your own pace. On the other hand, if real life interaction is your goal then you have to realize that a person you have good chemistry with over the computer may completely fail to flip your switch in the flesh. Perhaps you'd rather know that sooner rather than after a good few months of time comsuming emails an online tasking.

Whatever you do, I do recommend reasearching and learning all you can before you jump into anything, online or real life. Talk to lots of Doms, talk to lots of subs, and let yourself learn the Lifestyle from the group and establish your own perspective before you let any one single person be your guide and your insight into BDSM.

Best of luck.

Ditto.

But I'd add that you should remember the two are somewhat different and you may find that you like one more than the other or, more importantly, like one and not the other.

There are those that are perfectly happy online-only and really don't want to try something "real" life (I hesitate to use that term, because what they have works for them, so is real). For myself, I've never done anything much online, because I prefer things in-the-flesh.

[Ozme52]

I'd suggest a munch.

Online has far more posers and wannabe's.
Meeting someone in real life whom introduces themselves online doesn't resolve the problem... but a munch usually has enough people who know who's real and who's not... in fact, the posers are quickly exposed and leave on their own accord within such groups.

I think getting to know people and creating a network of like-minded people is a valuable aid.

[Willsubmit2]

I'd suggest a munch.

Online has far more posers and wannabe's.
Meeting someone in real life whom introduces themselves online doesn't resolve the problem... but a munch usually has enough people who know who's real and who's not... in fact, the posers are quickly exposed and leave on their own accord within such groups.

I think getting to know people and creating a network of like-minded people is a valuable aid.

I have to agree, especially with this site...there seems to be more new people in the lifestyle than experienced since what I've read since I've joined...on line lifestyle can be discussed, get some experienced "stories" but RT is the only way you're going to know it's really for you.

Best of luck to you