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Thread: Hi there

  1. 10-19-2008 #1
    Eternalstudent
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    Hi there

    I joined this site looking for advice and the company of others. I'm new to the scene and I am just learning questions I need to ask.

    The crux: I feel that my submissive gf is looking for more of a 24/7 relationship than I am able to provide at my current level of understanding. She also appears to be fragile and internalizes aspects of our play which is affecting our vanilla relationship. The psychological aspects of our relationship has become stressful to me and I need some help. It is very important to me that she is not harmed by me hurting her (if you get my drift).

    Control is a funny thing... when you have it responsibility makes the decisions.
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  2. 10-19-2008 #2
    Aussiegirl1
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    Hi and welcome to the forums. You will find lots of good advice here as well as people to talk to. I hope you find it a place where you can learn and grow.
    Learning more each day!

    So very happy to be loved by Warbaby. ~
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  3. 10-20-2008 #3
    leo9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eternalstudent View Post
    The crux: I feel that my submissive gf is looking for more of a 24/7 relationship than I am able to provide at my current level of understanding. She also appears to be fragile and internalizes aspects of our play which is affecting our vanilla relationship.
    This is worth noticing for all newbies. BDSM in general and D/s in particular can be emotionally life-changing, and you need to be prepared for the risk that a play relationship may suddenly turn very serious indeed.

    As they say in the poly community, you can't put a condom on your heart.
    It is very important to me that she is not harmed by me hurting her (if you get my drift).

    Control is a funny thing... when you have it responsibility makes the decisions.
    Well done for having the maturity to see that. With great power comes great responsiblity, and sometimes, like the originator of that saying, one has the power and responsibility thrust on one unexpectedly.

    If you thought you had a playmate and suddenly find you have a slave when you aren't ready for one, you are going to have to deal with it. Maybe you will have to find someone who can own her 24/7.
    Leo9
    Oh better far to live and die under the brave black flag I fly,
    Than play a sanctimonious part with a pirate head and a pirate heart.

    www.silveandsteel.co.uk
    www.bertramfox.com
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  4. 10-20-2008 #4
    lucy
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    Hello and welcome to the forum
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  5. 10-20-2008 #5
    Tufty
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    Hello and to the Forums
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  6. 10-20-2008 #6
    rosebud
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    Hi Welcome to the Library! Enjoy!
    Triple Goddess
    1st -12/11/08
    2nd - 5/12/09
    3rd -12/01/09
    A Dom's true worth is reflected in the eyes of His submissive!
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  7. 10-20-2008 #7
    blythe spirit
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  8. 10-20-2008 #8
    Ozme52
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    The Wizard of Ahhhhhhhs



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  9. 10-20-2008 #9
    DiablosLittleOne
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    Welcome to the Library. Might I suggest introducing your g/f to the site as well so that she may read some of the posts in the sub section. She might find it helpful and I'm sure she has many questions of her own.
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  10. 10-20-2008 #10
    Diablo
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    Good luck on this journey.

    Remember this and it will be easier, be patient and open with one another. We really work just like the vanillas, we just have more fun.
    I will forever cherish the Gift My Little One has given to Me.

    Welcome Domination and it will set you free.
    :crop
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  11. 10-20-2008 #11
    MrDom
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    Hello. Welcome
    Have whip will travel. Your pain is my pleasure.
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  12. 10-20-2008 #12
    denuseri
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    wellcome to the site

    we are so very happy to have you here, the forums are full of great information, as well as having a very nice personels section and chatroom

    feel free to pm any of the staff or myself with conserns or questions, we are more than willing to lend a hand

    hope to see more of you soon
    have lots of fun exploring the site
    hugs and kissess
    denu
    When love beckons to you, follow him,Though his ways are hard and steep. And when his wings enfold you yield to him, Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound thee
    KAHLIL GIBRAN, The Prophet
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  13. 10-22-2008 #13
    Eternalstudent
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    Thank you all for the welcome

    I really appreciate the kind welcome and advice. It's nice to know that there are real people willing to share their thoughts.

    Since my first post things have improved in my relationship. However I intend to become more involved with this community. Thank you for the support.
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  14. 10-22-2008 #14
    Eternalstudent
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    Thank you all for the welcome

    I really appreciate the kind welcome and advice. It's nice to know that there are real people willing to share their thoughts.

    Since my first post things have improved in my relationship. However I intend to become more involved with this community. Thank you for the support.
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  15. 10-22-2008 #15
    QuietMaster
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eternalstudent View Post

    I joined this site looking for advice and the company of others. I'm new to the scene and I am just learning questions I need to ask.

    Control is a funny thing... when you have it responsibility makes the decisions.
    Openness, understanding and attention to subtlies are a few of the important elements of a relationship.

    The differing perspectives indeed complement the expectations of individuals.

    Welcome and enjoy the travels in your quest for knowledge.
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  16. 10-22-2008 #16
    DowntownAmber
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    Welcome to the site - as others have mentioned I'm sure you'll find lots of helpful advice and friendly folks willing to share.
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