Questions for all the Doms and Dommes ?

[AndreaDawne]

When you are dominating your sub or slave, what is going thru your mind? And how does it make you feel?

[LCC]

When i have my pet securely bound and know I am in complete control, it feels like time slows down. There is such power in knowing I can take from her whatever I want, whenever I want. I usually choose to take some time surveying her naked body and enjoying her discomfort before proceeding to touch her. I love knowing that everything will unfold according to my desires.

[SubmissiveDoll]

Wow, no one else is going to respond on this one? Come on... I have to admit, I'm one of the (I'm sure there are many) subs that would love to hear this. I'm always curious about this very subject. Thanks Andrea for posting it.

[TwistedTails]

Hmm wrote a bunch, edited it all. I'll get back to you. So many variables, so little rope.

[SubmissiveDoll]

Hmm wrote a bunch, edited it all. I'll get back to you. So many variables, so little rope.

Hmmm .. *gives you more rope* Hope it helps, I look forward to seeing what you have to say.

[AndreaDawne]

Yea me too. I wish all the Masters/Doms/Sirs whatever names they prefer themselves to be superior in Dominating their slaves/submissives to answer this questions. Please.

[dillinja]

Its very hard for me to explain whats going through my head. If i sit back and pull away from the scene, its an imense (sp?) feeling of control. Its scary, sexy, lip biting fun. My kitty feels so very small to me, weak, powerless, thrashing around on the bed, bound by ropes, hooded by leather. It all makes me feel evil, sinister, like a mad scientist playing with a toy. Like a cat playing with a mouse. The connection with her is intense, i can anticipate everything she is going to do, control everything she is going to feel...

* sorry im all wound up and my kitty is out of town for the night*

[AndreaDawne]

Very interesting... thank you very much dillinja!!

[dillinja]

probably not what you were expecting...im all frisky tonight..god gave me two heads and only enought blood to run one at a time

[TwistedTails]

I took some time and gave this question a bit of thought.

The first thing I realized was that I have not been gifted with the language skills for the task.

The second was that this is a intensely personal question I stuck my two cents into, and difficult to answer without being a bit revealing. I don't consider myself a "Dom". but rather a sensual sadist. But I do dominate so perhaps one small example may be relevant.

I can be a bit predatory in my approach. First I tell her exactly what I am about to do to her. I enjoy the mixed look of fear and desire in her eyes, savor it like a candy. Once I order her to her pole, I circle as if sizing up my prey, force her to lower her gaze. It is very primal energy I feel at that point something ancient, something hot that makes the blood boil, then its time to violate her space. As I step close behind just not touching. I breath and I wait. The first thing I'm looking for is the tell. whether it be a shiver, short rapid breaths, lip biting, its a tell that says she has just realized she is about to be taken and surrendered to it. Its a delicious moment. I describe it as delicious because it feeds my hunger for the submission. It fans the flames for the possession to come.

I don't know if I have helped answer you question in any way. If I have not it may help to think of it as Bambi vs Wolf, from the Wolfs point of view.

Bear

[AndreaDawne]

Thank you very much Bear for taking your time to answer our questions. And I am starting to understand the way Dom think and feel.
Even tho I sometime am a Dom but I am not deeply involve in myself as a real Dom would be to understands. I only have a couple needs I want when I take control. I am more of a submissive. And I always wondered what they feel or what they think when they are standing infront of their sub. Its to help us understand them a bit and yet don't want to give out to much of themselves.
Thank you very much for yourtime to post here Sir.

[blythe spirit]

Very interesting question(s), AD. As Doll said, It would be nice to hear from more Dom/mes.

[Pearlgem]

I took some time and gave this question a bit of thought.

The first thing I realized was that I have not been gifted with the language skills for the task.

The second was that this is a intensely personal question I stuck my two cents into, and difficult to answer without being a bit revealing. I don't consider myself a "Dom". but rather a sensual sadist. But I do dominate so perhaps one small example may be relevant.

I can be a bit predatory in my approach. First I tell her exactly what I am about to do to her. I enjoy the mixed look of fear and desire in her eyes, savor it like a candy. Once I order her to her pole, I circle as if sizing up my prey, force her to lower her gaze. It is very primal energy I feel at that point something ancient, something hot that makes the blood boil, then its time to violate her space. As I step close behind just not touching. I breath and I wait. The first thing I'm looking for is the tell. whether it be a shiver, short rapid breaths, lip biting, its a tell that says she has just realized she is about to be taken and surrendered to it. Its a delicious moment. I describe it as delicious because it feeds my hunger for the submission. It fans the flames for the possession to come.

Not gifted with language skills? I think you did a pretty good job. It almost makes me want to be a sadist.......

[SubmissiveDoll]

I have to agree... you say you aren't gifted with verbal skills, but that was amazing. Yes it was very personal, and I very much want to thank you for sharing. It was beautiful to read, and did actually help a bit in the understanding.

There isn't a BDSM page around that doesn't talk about sub space at least now and then. But, it's very hard to find out anything about Dom space.

I wonder if this is in part because Doms often keep their own council. I find that they don't generally speak unless they have something to say, and are very shrewd with whom they choose to let in. I feel so very blessed that my Master chose me, and allows me to see him for who he is. All his feelings, flaws, and beauty.

Do any of you other Doms feel like Bear, that it's something personal, that you don't really want to share?

I took some time and gave this question a bit of thought.

The first thing I realized was that I have not been gifted with the language skills for the task.

The second was that this is a intensely personal question I stuck my two cents into, and difficult to answer without being a bit revealing. I don't consider myself a "Dom". but rather a sensual sadist. But I do dominate so perhaps one small example may be relevant.

I can be a bit predatory in my approach. First I tell her exactly what I am about to do to her. I enjoy the mixed look of fear and desire in her eyes, savor it like a candy. Once I order her to her pole, I circle as if sizing up my prey, force her to lower her gaze. It is very primal energy I feel at that point something ancient, something hot that makes the blood boil, then its time to violate her space. As I step close behind just not touching. I breath and I wait. The first thing I'm looking for is the tell. whether it be a shiver, short rapid breaths, lip biting, its a tell that says she has just realized she is about to be taken and surrendered to it. Its a delicious moment. I describe it as delicious because it feeds my hunger for the submission. It fans the flames for the possession to come.

I don't know if I have helped answer you question in any way. If I have not it may help to think of it as Bambi vs Wolf, from the Wolfs point of view.

Bear

[Lady-Victoria]

It is power. It is to be worshiped as I deserve. It is a feeling of being the Goddess that I always am and am so seldom treated as in the day to day world. It is a rush to know that My pleasure is all My sub need worry about. It is My power to give that pleasure back....IF I choose to do so. It is wonderful. It is like christmas. I am given a gift and I enjoy using all of it. *sighs happily*

[Diablo]

Its an overwhelming sense of wonder, pride and power.

The wonderous beauty of the sub laid bare before you, the wonder that is her strength to let go and fully trust.

Pride in self for finding such a creature and molding her and pride in her for submitting and pleasing me.

The power that lies in knowing you have comlete control over her that your every whim in regards to her will be granted. The Power in the exchange to and from.

[Pearlgem]

As a sub, I find these fascinating Dom/me responses. I'm going to enjoy rereading this thread many times and having a good ponder about the strangeness of it all. I can understand how it must feel intellectually but I can't quite get there personally. I keep trying to translate how this Dom/me feeling must 'really' feel from a sub's point of view. It feels like reading about strange, mythical creatures; it's fascinating and exciting to share their world in a good story book, but let's get back to the princess in the tower - something we all understand!

God bless you, Dom/mes. Keep on loving what you do to us subs.

[AndreaDawne]

I agree with you Pearlgem. It does help me to see different views of different Doms/Dommes.
I am very thankful for you all Masters and Mistresses for taking the time to answer this question for us. I think its a great gift to know your answer and to share with us. Thank you very much Masters/Mistresses.

[BorderCollie]

Hi,
Apart from the obvious, being that there is a great gift in front of me.
There is also the fact that it gets me where I want to go, by ways of my sub/wife having the the her crotch rope sopping wet, the line of moisture running down her leg and the dampness on the top of her stockings, the odd drip on her toes or shoes should she be standing.
Or the massive wet patch shoud she be laying down.This more than anything shows that she too is where she wants to be. Showing me that I'm doing my part right.
The marks around her breasts after the rope is removed, and the colour coming back into them, or the slight marks around her mouth where the tape was removed.
The anticipation, of hoping that nobody notices the rope marks around her ankles, or the knees or her wrists. It's all a very mutual thing, these thing put me even more in love with her.
I also love the feeling of walking along the street knowing what she does, and that other women only "THINK" that have a good life.

I touched on this in another thread, where my wife/sub was listening to one of the girls at work rattle on about BDSM and having no idea there was a sub right there in front of her. She told me that this other girl not having a clue made her feel very NAUGHTY.
There is more, but this is a deep thread.

[damyanti]

How do you as dom/mes handle and or deal with the responsibility (of being one)? Does it ever get too much? Or do you enjoy it, responsibility and or control?

[Mastrovenice]

Dom space for me is about serious play, about molding and shaping a piece of female flesh and blood and brain into the beauty that is a submissive woman. A bound woman to me is the most beautiful piece of art.

Sometimes it's about control, the heady rush of having a sub at your feet. Other times its about the feedback loop of pain and pleasure: I inflict the pain which she turns into pleasure, which gives me pleasure, so I cause more pain. Is is also about empathy. Her intensity of emotion and arousal spikes a response in my own. To quote a famous politician, I feel her pain.

And to Damyanti's question, sometimes I get lost in the responsibility for my sub's experience. It can be a big burden to be creative in setting and maintaining a scene with the pacing of a broadway show. It can actually be stressful. There are times that I realize I am focusing too much on HER desires and often leave mine out. While it may seem that being Dom is a selfish act, it isn't always.

As always, this really just scratches the surface, and like so many things BDSM related, its so personal that to generalize is almost pointless.

[MissTrishNow]

So depends on how we are playing...
Fun play where I am all about pleasure, I am thinking of my pleasure and how to keep her from hers until I am ready for her release.

Discipline is different. I am considering her infraction against previous infractions plus future ones that could occur if we don't extinquish this bad behavior. I am searching for the right level of submission/pain. I am calculating how to keep her from reaching her threshold so she doesn't forget the punishment yet not going on so long that we lose after care time.

I usually don't reflect on the gift of her body until later.

[voxelectronica]

I once asked a Dom of mine this same question and he responded with "I feel like I'm about to loose control". I thought this was a really odd response. Dom's are supposed to always be in control. Why wouldn't he just let himself loose control? After all I am there for his pleasure right?

When I opened myself up to being a Dom (a very transforming experience I might add). I understood how he felt. I feel like I'm trying to hold chaos itself. There is a person who can easily walk away rather than submit. There is a person who can hate everything that you are about. There is a person who has their own needs, wants, desires etc. This person then does the most beautiful thing in the world and gives them all to you, for you to put them all together. It is like molding clay, or writing a story, or painting. Describing how it feels to Dom someone is like describing your favorite song. It should make you feel everything.

Sometimes you do have to step back and examine what's going on. Take all the pieces and put them in perspective. That's what helps me stay in control of myself when it gets to be to much. When a slut is doing their job, of teasing, of being inviting, of begging for it. That's when I have to do my job of staying firm to giving them what they need most of all, structure.

So I understand what my old Dom meant. I was doing my job i was making him want to join me in my wanton desires. The problem in that is that losing that control is a very non Dominant thing to do. So with a good sub, I always FEEL tested as a Dom.

I don't know if that makes any sense to anyone other than me and him.

[Oak]

Ups nasty question! How to reply on that so it's understandable and then in foreign language... Well I'll give it my best shot.
First there of course is the control. I've got this girl, all tied up and helpless. I can do what ever I want to her. She is totally in my power and mercy. I know that I'll have to control yourself and stay inside the limitations.
Next I feel pride, love and thrust. Not to mention very honoured. Knowing that she love and thrust me enough to le me put her in this helpless situation and know that I wont harm her.

[AndreaDawne]

I want to thank everyone for your support on this thread. And I indeed learn a lot. Doms and Dommes all have same and different sayings. Very interesting to know how their mind works as they Dominate their slaves.
Again guys thank you for sharing your thoughts and words.

[Daddy54]

I Feel Pride. Pride in Myself for being able to Capture and Hold my Sub in MY Control in all Matters. Pride in the Fact that I can Give my Sub what my Sub Needs and Requires and Do so Effectively. Pride in the Knowledge that my Subs Look to me for Guidence when Needed. Pride in MY Subs for Their Devotion and Trust they Give me by their Total Submission. Pride in the Knowledge that My Subs will Do for me ALL that I Require and Do So Willingly. And Last but Most Surely Not the Least. Pride in the Knowledge that Each of My Subs have Grown to Love and Respect me. I am Not Much on Answering these Types of Questions because I Usually Ask the Questions and Do the Telling. But I Figured since this is My First Post. Why Not. Brave of you to Ask Such a Question of the Doms/Dommes.

[ash_DREAMING]

I'll be watching this thread... I hope more Dom/mes respond. It's very enlightening.

[BelovedPet]

I'll be watching this thread... I hope more Dom/mes respond. It's very enlightening.

Ditto! Very interesting stuff. Thanks to all who've responded.

b

[Lisais mine]

okay, this is hard for me. I've tried a few time, but i'll do it. now.

I am consumed by her. she fills my every thought. when I am alone, I am trying to think about what I can do for her, to open her more, to help her, to show her more. I think about her needs- about her fantasies- and I work towards giving those things to her.

when she is there obeying me, I feel like a king. I absolutly love the way that she is mine. that she is ready for my slightest whim thrills me. Her desire to please me feels like the greatest man in the world.

now when we are in scene, I feel... hungry. I want all of her. I want to push her, make her feel something she has never felt before. I want to hear her gasp and whimper, I want to tease her with my cock till she begs- I want to block out the world until reality only consists of her and I and then we become one....


the second question- how do i deal with the responsibility?
I love it. i really enjoy taking care of her. one of our favorite non sexual things to do is to pick out clothes for her online...She is wonderful, and because of that wonder, i want to do these things for her.

[SilverWulf]

What I feel ...

Absolute, all consuming responsibility

Total Control

Overwhelming Love

Sheer Pride

Trust

Devotion

The world fades away into the deep background. A bomb could go off in the next room and I wouldn't notice. My attention is on her and her only. Her responses, her body language, her whimpers, screams, and moans of both pleasure and pain. Nothing else matters.

I am trying to rope a tornado, herd cats, and play a violin concerto all at the same time.

I will take my pleasure only when I have taken her to where I want her to go. Sometimes I decide this ahead of time, other times I simply go with the feelings and see what happens during the scene.

Last, but not least, there is the fear. Abject terror. Fear strong enough to turn my stomach and make my heart skip a beat. Yes, FEAR. Fear that I will harm her, fear that I will make a mistake, fear that something will go wrong and I will break the trust I hold so dear. Fear that I will push her too far. Fear that I won't go far enough. And the thought that terrifies me more than anything else. Fear that I will lose her.

Best of all, all those fears are put to rest when I look into her eyes and see the total devotion, trust, surrender, and love.