Very nice ---you did leave out some important things ----smell ---and taste---after a beating did you taste the coppery of blood in your mouth ----and if you did not recieve a beating ---did you have a cotton taste in your mouth from a drug ---how did the room smell ---did the woman have on perfume---

the trick is to use all of your decriptive powers to make the reader feel and see what you feel ---see --taste --smell ==hear.