Quote Originally Posted by dynamicbuttler View Post
1) I've been told that male subs (like me) FAR outnumber dominatrixes. Of course, this is a TOTAL bummer, because it sounds almost as though I'll never be able to get with a dominant woman. In the rare event that I do, however, where do I meet such women, besides online? Is it totally unlikely that I'll meet one "the normal way"? Do bdsm people like congregate at certain locations?
2) Are BDSM relationships often loving, regular relationships aside from the wierd fettish thing, or is it generally only sexual? I've often fantasized about a dominant, strict yet loving female partner. Does this happen?
3) Can a guy be a good submissive without wearing a gay looking leather suit?
4) Are there dommes that prefer brute force/heavy beatings over weird torture devices, electric shock, nipple torture, etc.?
5) If a domme breaks you, beats you or tortures you to tears (not that id plan on crying) is that a date ruiner or a turn on?

I realize that some of these questions are flat out stupid, but there's only one way to learn: By asking around. Sorry if I sound stiff or nasty- it's just that I'm admitting all these desires to myself against society's standards and I feel a bit awkward. (I'll feel better if you guys are cool) Thanks alot for any feedback.

1) That actually seems to be the norm for all subs, male and female. You outnumber your opposites about 10-1. But don't dispair. The journey is as enjoyable as the destination.

One good place to start is a "munch." It's a social (non-play) opportunity to meet like-minded people and begin networking. Look Here For Local Opportunities.

2) Both. But if you find the right Dom/me, you'll feel very loved. We tend to care for our submissives very much.

3) Not my baliwick, but I would be surprised if there weren't plenty of non-leather opportunities... and if worn privately for your mistress, in what way would that be gay. I wear leather and my submissive girl in no way sees me as gay. LOL

4) Again, there are a wide gamut of interests.

5) Again, not my specific baliwick but if dommes are like doms, yeah, they'll love that.

As to your closing comments, you've found the right place. None of your questions are flat or stupid, nor do you sound stiff or nasty. And as far as being against societal standards, it's all relative. There are hundreds of magazines, films, and toys published and made, and trust me... they don't do it for your sole pleasure, (the one and only kinky person in world.)

Welcome to the forums.