Knowing that I've disappointed him is really the punishment, I think -- the actual act of punishment is more like part of the forgiveness.

Great point, Hime!! Never thought of that... but I think that makes a lot of sense...

I never thought of myself as much of a masochist (i guess a lot of us say that, but it's true!), but Master recently enlightened me to the fact that if I happen to be going dry on Him (He can go for a long time), He just chokes me or slaps me and I'm instantly wet! Had no idea... lol...

That said, i must wholeheartedly agree with firefly and his_j- having to suffer Master's absence would be unbearable or to have to forego any kink... so, hmm... don't know if He's figured that out, lol, but sure He has... but on both of those, I know it would be hard on Him as well-
So of course I brought this point up to Him... and His response was that He would be even doubly disappointed in me- that because of me He would have to be w/o me.

I can understand that because I think about my son- I hate having to punish him- I lose out too (whether I have to spank him or take away something that was going to be fun for both of us).

I realized too recently that I think sometimes I misbehave, not directly to get punished, but because I fear if I don't misbehave, then I won't get spanked or whatever other kinky thing I need in my life. But I guess there's a better way to approach that, e.g. "Master, please would You beat me or choke me a little? a lot!" ok... working on it... lol