I have to say I struggled led with this same issue myself. Somehow when you say you are masochistic people seem to automatically put you in the submissive category. When I came back to the BDSM lifestyle I couldnt label myself submissive but didnt know if I was Domme either. I have since discovered I am not really Dom or Sub, I am a sadist with masochistic leanings...how better to understand what your partner is feeling then to have it done on yourself. The sounds of whimperng and groaning while playing with him is an amazing turnon, but I cant turn that into sex without some pain myself....Does that make me submissive? no... it just means we are Sadist/masochist. There is more then one style of BDSm and for some D/s isnt their area. So many people think you have to have D/s and need to have others catorgorized into sub/dom/switch so they know. But thats why I say "Other". S/M isnt always D/s. Sorry if I rambled but I hope it helps you at least a little.